mother." I can remember a little later that night, coming across my mother in the darkness. In all likelihood, it was in one of the corridors that I encountered her, though I do not remember this. Neither do I remember why I was wandering around the house in the dark, but it was certainly not in order to eavesdrop on my parents--for I do recall being resolved to pay no heed to what occurred in the reception room after my departure. In those days, of course, houses were all badly lit, so it was not at all unusual that we should stand in the dark and converse. I could make out my mother's figure in front of me, but could not see her face. "There's a smell of burning around the house," I remarked. "Burning?" My mother was silent for a while, then she said: "No. I don't think so. It must be your imagination, Masuji." "I smelt burning," I said. "There, I just caught it again. Is Father still in the reception room?" "Yes. He's working on something." "Whatever he's doing in there," I said, "it doesn't bother me in the least." My mother made no sound, so I added: "The only thing Father's succeeded in kindling is my ambition." "That is good to hear, Masuji." "You mustn't misunderstand me, Mother. I have no wish to find myself in years to come, sitting where Father is now sitting, telling my own son about accounts and money. Would you be proud of me if I grew to be like that?" "I would indeed, Masuji. There is much more to a life like your father's than you can possibly know at your age." "I would never be proud of myself. When I said I was ambitious, I meant I wished to rise above such a life." My mother fell silent for some moments. Then she said: "When you are young, there are many things which appear dull and lifeless. But as you get older, you will find these are the very things that are most important to you." I did not reply to this. instead, I believe I said: "Once, I was terrified of Father's business meetings. But for some time now, they"ve simply bored me. In fact, they disgust me. What are these meetings I"m so privileged to attend? The counting of loose change. The fingering of coins, hour after hour. I would never forgive myself if my life came to be like that." I paused and waited to see if my mother would say anything. For a moment, I had a peculiar feeling she had walked silently away while I had been speaking and I was now standing there alone. But then I heard her move just in front of me, so I repeated: "It doesn't bother me in the least what Father's doing in the reception room. All he's kindled is my ambition." However, I see I am drifting. My intention had been to record here that conversation I had with Setsuko last month when she came into the reception room to change the flowers. As I recall it, Setsuko had seated herself before the Buddhist altar and had begun to remove the more tired of the flowers decorating it. I had seated myself a little behind her, watching the way she carefully shook each stem before placing it on her lap, and I believe we were talking about something quite light-hearted at that stage. But then she said, without turning from her flowers: "Excuse me for mentioning this, Father. No doubt, it would have already occurred to you." "What is that, Setsuko?" "I merely mention it because I gather it is very likely Noriko's marriage negotiations will progress." Setsuko had begun to transfer, one by one, the fresh cuttings from out of her vase into those surrounding the altar. She was performing this task with great care, pausing after each flower to consider the effect. "I merely wished to say," she went on, "once the negotiations begin in earnest, it may be as well if Father were to take certain precautionary steps." "Precautionary steps? Naturally, we'll go carefully. But what precisely did you have in mind?" "Forgive me, I was referring particularly to the investigations." "Well, of course, we'll be as thorough as necessary. We'll hire the same detective as last year. He was very reliable, you
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