An Honest Love by Kathleen Fuller

jerk.”
    “Sounds like one to me. I’m surprised you’re defending him.”
    She crossed her arms over her chest. “We’re supposed to forgive, aren’t we?”
    “ Ya .” His tone softened. “We are. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but the thought of someone hurting you . . . you don’t deserve that, Anna.”
    She didn’t like the way her emotions were responding to him. She stepped to the side. “It’s late. We should both be getting home. Just let me know how much I owe you so I can write you a check.”
    Lukas didn’t say anything. Instead he turned and retrieved his tool belt from the bathroom. He gave her a long look, then walked out of the office.
    Surprised, she followed him. “Lukas, wait.”
    He turned around, his expression as serious as she’d ever seen it. “I won’t take your money, Anna.”
    “But—”
    “I don’t know how it is in Maryland, but here we help each other.”
    “We did the same.”
    “Then there’s nothing more to discuss. Unless you’ve changed your mind about Sunday.”
    She hesitated for a moment. A part of her wanted to say yes, to go to the singing with Lukas and not worry about her growing feelings for him. But Daniel’s betrayal kept popping into her thoughts, a stark reminder of what could happen if she acknowledged her feelings. “ Nee . I haven’t.”
    Disappointment colored his features. “Then there’s nothing more to say.”
    She threaded her fingers together behind her back. “I guess not.”
    Without another word he left.
    Anna went to the door and watched him get in the buggy. Dusk had already descended, cloaking the sky in gray and purple light. As his buggy pulled away, she put her hand on the door, feeling the coolness of the glass against her palm. Several dead leaves skittered across the parking lot, pushed along by the fall breeze. She leaned her forehead on the door, unable to shake the feeling she’d just made a huge mistake.
    As she turned to go inside, a dull ache suddenly spread across her lower abdomen. She winced. Since the age of sixteen she’d experienced similar pain, but it had gotten worse over the past few months during her monthly cycle. Most times she could ignore it, but lately that had become more difficult. She’d always hoped it would go away as she grew older, but instead the pain had steadily increased.
    Anna went to her office and sat down at her desk. She opened the side drawer, pulled out her purse, and searched for a bottle of pain reliever. She shook out two pills in her palm, then took them with a sip of water she always had nearby. Usually after thirty minutes the pain would subside. It was something she had come to expect a few days every month.
    Ignoring the ache, she began to straighten up her desk before she went home. She picked up the checkbook, thinking of Lukas again. Even though she had turned him down, he still hadn’t wanted her money. Mentally she calculated how much he’d saved her business over the course of two months. Just the labor alone was enough for her to say a prayer of thanks for his generosity.
    And to make her feel guilty.
    She exhaled. For everything he’d done for her and Esh’s Amish Goods, he’d asked so little in return. The least she could do was show up at the singing. Besides, it might be fun. She’d been so focused on her work and family since moving to Middlefield, she really hadn’t had a chance to get to know people in the community, especially those close to her age. And if she went to the singing, she wouldn’t be obligated to Lukas anymore. Well, not completely. She still planned to pay him for his work. She’d force him to take a check if she had to.
    Twenty minutes and a tidy office later, she felt much better. The pain reliever had kicked in, and she felt good about her decision to go to the Bylers’ Sunday evening, even though the thought of seeing Lukas there made her palms grow damp. If only she’d met him before Daniel. Everything would be different. But she