Another Way to Fall by Amanda Brooke

open her eyes and saw the jaundiced yellow of the walls, warming in the weak morning light, that her memory returned with a sickening stomach punch. The room hadn’t changed since the last time she had been held captive within its walls and the paint had clung on in much the same way as her cancer cells. Emma stretched and untangled herself from the bed sheets. Despite the deep sleep that always seemed to arrive before dawn, she had spent most of the night tossing and turning thanks to her restless thoughts that were kept in perpetual train by the steroids.
    With an unerring sense of timing that she had acquired in the last few days, Meg popped her head around the door. ‘Are you awake?’ she whispered. ‘Would you like anything?’
    Emma had to remind herself that she was a grown woman and not a schoolgirl as she pulled herself up to face her mum. ‘No, I’ll get up now,’ she said as her eyes adjusted to the light. ‘You look nice.’
    Meg had looked tired and worn for weeks but at last she looked a little like her old self. ‘I’ve taken your advice and made a bit of an effort. I might pop into work today if you think you can manage without me,’ she said, stepping through the door to show off her transformation. She was wearing a light grey suit with a silk blouse. It had been easy to forget that she was a fully qualified and experienced solicitor but the shadow of a woman who had hovered at the side of her daughter’s hospital bed had been given substance once more.
    ‘I’m glad to hear it,’ Emma said with a nod of approval. ‘At least one of us is earning our keep.’
    ‘We’ll manage,’ Meg told her. ‘And I don’t intend to stay out long. I’ll do what needs to be done in the office and bring some of my case files back home with me. With any luck I’ll be back by mid-afternoon.’
    ‘I might take a string out of your bow and pop into the office too,’ Emma said, trying to sound nonchalant.
    To Emma’s surprise, Meg smiled. ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve already made plans to go in.’
    ‘Who told you?’ demanded Emma with a raised eyebrow.
    ‘Gina,’ they both said in unison.
    ‘She mentioned it when she phoned last night,’ Meg confessed. ‘I’m surprised you’re telling me now and not after the fact.’
    ‘As if I’d do that,’ Emma said. ‘It’s not as if you might try to put me off.’
    Meg bit her tongue but clearly not hard enough. ‘It is just a visit, isn’t it? Please don’t let Alex persuade you to get involved in one of his projects.’
    ‘Is it my fault if I’m so indispensable?’
    ‘I’d better go,’ Meg said, sidestepping the argument. ‘I’ve printed out the list of your meds, what you need to take and when, and your pill boxes are all filled for the day. Don’t forget to take them with you when you go.’
    ‘You didn’t have to do that,’ scolded Emma.
    ‘One less thing for you to do.’
    It was Emma’s turn to bite her tongue. She wasn’t looking for fewer things to do. An image of a tree being stripped of its leaves by autumn winds came to mind as she thought of her life being slowly deconstructed, leaf by leaf.
    ‘Is anyone going to pick you up or do you need a lift?’ Meg continued.
    Emma wasn’t allowed to drive and Alex had an early morning appointment so couldn’t help although he had promised to meet her at the office later. Ally had offered to pick her up but Emma was intent on getting to Bannister’s under her own steam. It had been four days since her seizure and she was hoping that her anti-seizure drugs would continue to thwart her tumour’s best efforts to disrupt her life.
    ‘I can manage, Mum. Now go!’ Emma said, shooing her Mum out of the bedroom as she slipped out of bed and prepared to face the world. She glanced in the dressing-table mirror. As she traced a finger across her cheekbone, following the circle of grey beneath her eye, she realized that she would have to work hard on her own