Apprehension and Desire: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice by Ola Wegner Page B

journey.”
    He took her hand. “We shall see each other tomorrow.”
    She shook her head. “No, yet today. Your aunt invited us to dinner.”
    He leaned into her, and whispered in low, soft voice. It was so natural to use such tones when speaking to her. “Then I will have the pleasure of seeing you again tonight.”
    “Yes.”
    He wanted to say something more, touch her again, but her expression did not invite that. She had withdrawn into herself and did not look at him. He walked to the door and, with a final glance at her, left the room.
    He had not imagined it like that. He had always thought her to be more responsive.
    “I must be patient with her,” he whispered.
     
Chapter Five              
     
    Elizabeth did not go for a walk that day, as she preferred to stay in her room. She could not concentrate on reading, or on anything else. Her father had offered her a safe escape, a rescue from the situation she had put herself in. She was grateful for that, but she did not know whether she would use it.
    She was torn; she was afraid. Was she ruining her life or attempting to make it better? The more she thought about her situation, about her decision, the more undecided and confused she was. The only bright point that she had no doubts about was Jane. She wanted to help her sister, and now it was in her power.
    She could not forget about what had induced her to accept Mr. Darcy’s proposal in the first place. The fate of Parker sisters was the last thing she desired. The life of humiliation and loneliness, as a governess, or a mistress of some wealthy man, was something she wanted to avoid not only for herself, but for her sisters as well. She felt depressed merely thinking of it. Mr. Darcy was her only chance to rescue herself. Who could guarantee her that another man of means would come her way in the future?
    As Mrs. Darcy, she would have social standing and respect; the distress and humiliation would certainly accompany her existence daily, but at least she would  have her own family, surely children. Mr. Darcy would make sure to visit her bedchamber often enough to have his heir. She would have someone to love. Perhaps she would have more than one child.
    At least Jane would be happy. With their new connections to Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, as his best friend, would reappear in their lives. Jane would be given another chance with Mr. Bingley - a chance for true happiness and a true love match.
    Her father gave her time to think, to change her mind, but was it wise? After all, she had decided to marry him.  A long courtship would only fuel her doubts, weaken her resolve. Perhaps it was more prudent to tell her father that she was ready to accept Mr. Darcy's offer, to announce a formal engagement and set a wedding before the summer.
    A soft knock at the door drew her attention back to the present moment.
    “Elizabeth?” Charlotte appeared in the open door. “May I come in?”
    “Of course.” Elizabeth smiled, noting that her friend had her second best evening dress on.
    “We are invited to dine with Lady Catherine's tonight. Have you forgotten?” Mrs. Collins enquired.
    “Yes, I have forgotten, but only for a moment.”
    Charlotte sat next to her on the narrow bed. “Have you  developed a headache again? Do you wish  to stay at home?” she examined her friend’s pale face. “I am worried. It is so unlike you to feel unwell so often.”
    Elizabeth shook her head. “I do not feel unwell. I am truly well. I only worry about Mr. Darcy.  I cannot stop thinking about it, back and forth, wondering whether it was a good decision.”
    Charlotte touched her hand reassuringly. “You did well. You will have your own home, security, and, one day, children.”
    Elizabeth nodded. “Yes, I know; but it does not feel right. I feel guilty. Mr. Darcy, despite his faults, seems to love me. He acts like a man in love, and he thinks I love him too. I am deceiving him, which is unfair.”
    “You think