some warmth into her arms.
“Budge up then…” Penny sat as Anna scooted to the side. “I’m just worried about you. You’ve never been the chipper sort, but you’re a bit stroppy as of late.”
Anna pulled the bedclothes over her bare legs, basking in the warmth. The little things giggling at her from under the bureau whispered about her. They gave voice to Anna’s shame at Penny seeing the red lines around her wrists. Knowing the whispers to be a product of the drugs, she tuned them out.
“Your hair’s nice,” mumbled Anna.
“I’ve ‘ad my hair like this since we’ve met. It’s not changed.” Penny sat on the edge of the bed, nudging Anna’s eyes open wider with a thumb. “Oi, you’re wrecked, aren’t ya?”
Anna grinned, stroking her fingers through her friend’s long, ebon locks. “I love this black.”
“You know they ‘ave dye. You could change it.” Penny crossed her arms, feigning jealousy. “I don’t see why you would though, yours is so much prettier. You should let it grow out again. You’re not runnin’ with that Carroll gent anymore.”
“Right.” Anna let her hands fall in her lap. “Long hair just got in the way.” Tears welled up in her eyes as her face warped in preparation of hard sobbing.
Penny threw an arm around her and patted her back. She rubbed Anna’s shoulder for a while until the sadness weakened.
“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Penny squeezed. “Did something else happen wif Plonk? I haven’t seen you like this since I found you in a rubbish bin.”
“Been thinkin’ about my dad.” Anna burst out laughing, wiping her cheeks dry. “I must’ve been a sight, aye. Guess I loved the bastard after all. Maybe I shouldn’t ‘ave killed him.”
“Killed him?” Penny gasped. “Your Da? You said it was an acci―oh… The food ‘sem, did you make it blow up?”
Vacant blue eyes regarded Penny for a full minute as Anna’s brain caught up to what had slipped out of her mouth. Anna was thirteen when they met; ten years was an age in Coventry time, most did not survive that long. She wanted to confess about the thing in her head, but that sort of truth could ruin even the quasi-sisterhood that kept them alive.
“I-I.” She shivered, staring at Penny. “He used to beat the hell out of me. I dunno why ‘lectronics fritz around me. I got bad luck or something.”
Penny, to Anna’s surprise, did not recoil away. “Oh, Pix… You’ve been blaming yourself for an accident all these years?”
Lying to her only true friend hurt as much as murdering her father, even if it had been self-defense. Penny comforted her through another bout of tears.
“No, Pen, I really did it. I wanted the machine to kill him.”
“You were twelve, and you witnessed it. I can’t imagine the kind of nightmares you must’ve had. I don’t believe for an instant it was your fault.” Penny ruffled her hair the way she used to, ten years ago. “You really ought to get off that shit.”
“It’s better if I keep on with it. I can’t afford the hospital and there’s nothing at the chemist’s for this.”
Penny offered a comforting glance, begging her without a word to open up. A scrape of ice ran through her chest from the guilt. More so when Penny jumped at the faltering lights. If there was anyone Anna could trust in the world, it was Penny. She wanted, no
needed,
to tell her the one thing she had kept to herself. Anna looked up, crying again when they made eye contact. It would be safer for Penny not to know about her. If
they
ever came for her again, not knowing would keep Penny alive.
Anna remained silent. After a pat on the back, her friend got up to leave.
“Stay in bed, hon, you still look like death warmed over.”
“Pen.”
Halfway to the door, the older woman turned with a flourish of hair. “Yes?”
Anna grimaced, staring.
“You’re either going to shit the bed with that face or you’re dumping me.”
She buried her face in her hands, laughing and
“Budge up then…” Penny sat as Anna scooted to the side. “I’m just worried about you. You’ve never been the chipper sort, but you’re a bit stroppy as of late.”
Anna pulled the bedclothes over her bare legs, basking in the warmth. The little things giggling at her from under the bureau whispered about her. They gave voice to Anna’s shame at Penny seeing the red lines around her wrists. Knowing the whispers to be a product of the drugs, she tuned them out.
“Your hair’s nice,” mumbled Anna.
“I’ve ‘ad my hair like this since we’ve met. It’s not changed.” Penny sat on the edge of the bed, nudging Anna’s eyes open wider with a thumb. “Oi, you’re wrecked, aren’t ya?”
Anna grinned, stroking her fingers through her friend’s long, ebon locks. “I love this black.”
“You know they ‘ave dye. You could change it.” Penny crossed her arms, feigning jealousy. “I don’t see why you would though, yours is so much prettier. You should let it grow out again. You’re not runnin’ with that Carroll gent anymore.”
“Right.” Anna let her hands fall in her lap. “Long hair just got in the way.” Tears welled up in her eyes as her face warped in preparation of hard sobbing.
Penny threw an arm around her and patted her back. She rubbed Anna’s shoulder for a while until the sadness weakened.
“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Penny squeezed. “Did something else happen wif Plonk? I haven’t seen you like this since I found you in a rubbish bin.”
“Been thinkin’ about my dad.” Anna burst out laughing, wiping her cheeks dry. “I must’ve been a sight, aye. Guess I loved the bastard after all. Maybe I shouldn’t ‘ave killed him.”
“Killed him?” Penny gasped. “Your Da? You said it was an acci―oh… The food ‘sem, did you make it blow up?”
Vacant blue eyes regarded Penny for a full minute as Anna’s brain caught up to what had slipped out of her mouth. Anna was thirteen when they met; ten years was an age in Coventry time, most did not survive that long. She wanted to confess about the thing in her head, but that sort of truth could ruin even the quasi-sisterhood that kept them alive.
“I-I.” She shivered, staring at Penny. “He used to beat the hell out of me. I dunno why ‘lectronics fritz around me. I got bad luck or something.”
Penny, to Anna’s surprise, did not recoil away. “Oh, Pix… You’ve been blaming yourself for an accident all these years?”
Lying to her only true friend hurt as much as murdering her father, even if it had been self-defense. Penny comforted her through another bout of tears.
“No, Pen, I really did it. I wanted the machine to kill him.”
“You were twelve, and you witnessed it. I can’t imagine the kind of nightmares you must’ve had. I don’t believe for an instant it was your fault.” Penny ruffled her hair the way she used to, ten years ago. “You really ought to get off that shit.”
“It’s better if I keep on with it. I can’t afford the hospital and there’s nothing at the chemist’s for this.”
Penny offered a comforting glance, begging her without a word to open up. A scrape of ice ran through her chest from the guilt. More so when Penny jumped at the faltering lights. If there was anyone Anna could trust in the world, it was Penny. She wanted, no
needed,
to tell her the one thing she had kept to herself. Anna looked up, crying again when they made eye contact. It would be safer for Penny not to know about her. If
they
ever came for her again, not knowing would keep Penny alive.
Anna remained silent. After a pat on the back, her friend got up to leave.
“Stay in bed, hon, you still look like death warmed over.”
“Pen.”
Halfway to the door, the older woman turned with a flourish of hair. “Yes?”
Anna grimaced, staring.
“You’re either going to shit the bed with that face or you’re dumping me.”
She buried her face in her hands, laughing and
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