Dark Solace by Tara Fox Hall

this
time.
    I sat down on the bed edge and waited. Nine
minutes after nine, the door opened, and Devlin came in.
     

 
    Chapter
Three
     
    Devlin saw me there waiting for him and
froze. My eyes traveled to his hand, still resting on the door
handle. The multicolored gold band gleamed on his ring finger. We
said nothing for some moments.
    “Tell me you’re really here,” he said
finally. “That I’m not dreaming this.”
    “I’m here,” I said softly. “Was Venus with
you?”
    Dev nodded. “Serena is feeding her.” He came
closer hesitantly.
    I enfolded him in my arms. He let out a soft
sigh of contentment. I was immediately overcome; memories of shared
passion singing through my veins, the heady aroma of his sweet
scent stirring my heart.
    “I’ve really missed you, Love,” he said
finally, rubbing his scratchy cheek against mine.
    “I missed you, too,” I admitted. “Come, sit
down.”
    He sat on the end of the bed, beside me, then
took my hand in his. “Have you come back to me?” he whispered
hopefully.
    What could I say? Yes, but only under duress?
I’d better phrase my words carefully. “Dev, I’m here to give you a
second chance. But things need to be different between us, if I do
that.”
    He was silent, waiting.
    “I understand you haven’t been with anyone
else—”
    “How do you know that?” Devlin asked
suddenly.
    “Lash told me tonight, while I was waiting
for you,” I answered. “He said you had chemical help.”
    “Yes,” he affirmed. “It was misery at first,
but I got used to it. The drugs Titus brews even out my moods and
desires, though it’s still not—”
    “You didn’t have to do that. We were
over.”
    “We weren’t over, Sar!” Devlin said
forcefully. “We were just taking a break from one another. It
mattered that I show you I’d changed, that I wouldn’t make the same
mistake twice.”
    I didn’t reply, averting my eyes.
    “You don’t believe me?” He took his hand off
mine. “If you don’t believe I’ve changed, then why are you here?”
he said, looking at me searchingly.
    He was suspicious. Shit. Think fast, Sar.
“Because I missed you.”
    “That’s not it,” he said, getting to his
feet. He turned to face me, golden eyes flashing. “Don’t lie to me,
Sarelle.”
    Shit! Quick, say something, anything!
“Because we have a child together, even if just saying that is
still a shock to me,” I said, gaining surety with each word. “My
father died when I was very young. I never got to know him. Theo
missed out on some of Elle’s formative years, when he was gone
missing. I don’t want that to happen with me and our daughter.”
    Devlin sat back down beside me, and took my
right hand in both of his, caressing delicately.
    “I’m here because our child should be able to
have her mother and father spend time together, and not be
reticent, or fighting, or not speaking.” I squeezed his hand. “And
because regardless of everything that’s happened, I meant it when I
said I loved you.”
    Devlin said two words, but they weren’t the
ones I expected to hear. “Not enough.”
    I looked at him in confusion. “What?”
    “I was jealous, Sar. I had hoped that once I
had Oathed you, and I’d gotten the other Rulers to back off, you
would want to come and live with me.”
    Surprise showed on my face before I could
mask it.
    “I see your surprise. That hurts me. You have
spent all this time with me, and you still act as though I only see
you as some piece of ass.”
    Whoa. “Hey, I never said that—”
    “But you thought it,” Devlin retorted. “That
first day with you, when I told you I loved you, you looked the
same. Then months later, when we were at your house, when I told
you I wanted a life with you, you looked the same again. Surprised,
but not delighted. More wary, and ready to distance yourself from
me the moment you could.”
    “Dev, it wasn’t like that—”
    “It is like that, Sar! It hurts me to say it
out loud, but I might