Are You Nuts? by Mark Richard Zubro

beginning?”
    â€œBefore the body was found, the evening had been awful. Afterward, there was chaos. For hours, police, school administrators and board members, teachers, parents, kids—just everybody—were running around.”
    My lawyer hurried into the room. Todd was tall and waspishly thin. He wore an impeccably cut, dark gray suit with a severely starched white shirt. If you used a microscope, you might find the faint red stripes in his dark gray tie. I’d only ever seen him dressed as if for court or a funeral. If I asked him about his attire, I knew he’d say that for a trip to the police station, it never hurt to look one’s best. It might be impressive at the right moment. He wore glasses with thin gold rims. His sunken cheeks and crinkles around his eyes added to the impression he gave everyone that, with a few minor alterations, he could have been anyone’s maiden aunt. He often sounded like it too.
    I introduced him to Agnes.
    â€œI’ve talked with several officials and a state’s attorney,” Todd said. “We’re not going to be able to meet with Meg for a while. When that happens, they might only permit me in.”
    I explained about the meeting, then said, “Agnes was there. She might be able to give us information about what happened.”
    Todd took out a yellow legal pad from his briefcase and prepared to take notes.
    â€œWhere do I start?” Agnes asked.
    Todd said, “Let’s begin with all the details you can remember. Don’t worry about not remembering everything. Take as much time as you need.”
    She filled Todd in on the background about the election, then began giving details about the meeting. “People spoke, shouted, argued. Nobody on their side made much sense. Your name came up, Tom.”
    â€œI don’t care about that now. What’s happening to Meg is what’s important.”
    Agnes smiled briefly. She vigorously rubbed her eyes with her fists, then looked at us. “I’m more tired than I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve never had a friend arrested before. The police were terribly polite, but terribly firm. At first, Meg was too stunned to make much protest. When she got her wits about her and figured out she was a suspect, she began demanding a lawyer. They weren’t quite so polite after that. Then they took her away.”
    â€œThe meeting?” Todd prodded.
    â€œIf Belutha and her supporters used a shred of logic at the meeting, I didn’t hear it. About the middle of the evening Meg told Belutha Muffin she could take her Neanderthal views and shove them up her butt. When she said that, people got very angry. I’m afraid what happened next was rather undignified but very funny. The silly cow, Belutha, finally lost that self-satisfied smile. She leapt across several chairs and charged Meg.”
    â€œDid Meg get hurt?”
    â€œNo, not by that awful person. She stood her ground. Before Belutha was finished crossing the distance between them, she was all red in the face and puffing harder than a hurricane. I thought she was just short of a stroke. Belutha may have been too exhausted for physical abuse by then, but she let loose verbal blasts that were equivalent to any tornado. Meg’s comment when Belutha finally ran down was a deadly quiet and perfectly calm, ‘Why don’t you just die, you silly bitch?’ I’m afraid that was the most controlled Meg was for quite a while.”
    I said, “I thought I was the one who had to work on keeping calm in overwrought situations.”
    Agnes chuckled. “Perhaps you can take lessons together. After she made that crack, several people got between them. Jerome Blenkinsop was one of them. They had to drag poor Belutha away. She swore she’d get even with Meg and her liberal librarian ways. Belutha never did get to make her little speech against you, Tom. She was escorted out and they called a