the red mist that descended before Henno’s eyes. It was like a red rag to a bull.
And there was definitely the possibility of a charge.
Now Henno stalked around the clearing in the opposite direction. And he turned the tables again – while also upping the stakes. “Aye, now I see why Sarah Cameron doesn’t trust you with her secrets. Because you can’t fucking keep a confidence.”
This brought Handon up short – and caused his own face to redden. He stopped circling and glared at Henno. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“The bad thing that happened to Sarah in Toronto. That made her marry that muppet, Mark.”
Handon couldn’t respond to this. He just ground his jaw.
Henno twisted the knife. “She said she’d never been willing to tell you about it. Didn’t want to tell you.”
Handon found his voice. “What, and she told you?” Now he pictured the two of them where he’d last found them – sitting side by side on Henno’s bunk.
“Aye.” Henno nodded slowly, an evil gleam in his eye.
Handon worked to breathe, and tried not react to this. He knew none of it mattered – none of this love-triangle bullshit between him and Henno and Sarah had anything to do with their mission, which was also the most important tasking in the world. Henno was just trying to needle him. And the stakes were too high for Handon to let it all fall apart because of interpersonal crap like this.
Battling over a woman.
But then he hesitated and thought again. Maybe Sarah was relevant to the mission. Maybe after meeting this woman, who had seemed to change him so much, and so quickly… maybe it was after that he no longer had the will to make the brutal choices that were necessary. Maybe she had ruined him for his job.
And then Henno, stalking back around again, made his own connection between the woman and the mission. “Aye, there’s a reason she prefers my company to yours. And it’s the same reason you can’t command this bloody team.”
And here it comes , Handon thought.
He knew in his bones that when Henno said what was coming next, there would be no coming back from it. It would be impossible for Henno to unsay – and impossible for him to unhear, or pretend he’d never heard in the first place.
And nothing in Alpha could ever be the same.
Henno’s voice was ice-cold steel. “It’s because you don’t have the resolve , mate. The resolve to do what’s necessary – whatever the cost . You don’t have the strength. You don’t have the nerve, the sack. You don’t have the bottle , Handon. You never did. And you never will.”
Silence descended on the clearing.
“Take your hand off your goddamned knife, Staff Sergeant.”
Handon said this before he realized what he was saying. And maybe Henno had moved his hand there without being conscious of it. But now they both knew exactly where they were – standing on a crumbling precipice, over a dark void, with nothing but violence, death, and chaos below. And they both knew they faced a plunge into that void – the prospect floated out in front of them in the air, impossible to ignore or look away from.
And what Handon was thinking in that frozen instant was:
I can’t have a mutiny on my hands. I can’t have Henno going off and doing whatever the hell he wants to, at any time, on his own authority. The team will fall apart – and that will cause the mission to fail. And that CANNOT happen.
My God – I’ve got to kill him.
He no longer saw any way around it. He couldn’t control him. He couldn’t force him to obey. He almost certainly couldn’t send him back. And it looked like he was never going to get killed fighting the dead – or anyone else for that matter.
And what Henno was thinking in that exact same instant was:
I can’t have Handon keep making these airy-fairy decisions. We can’t have someone in charge who is unwilling to do what’s necessary – WHATEVER is necessary. If we do, he’s going to cause the mission
And there was definitely the possibility of a charge.
Now Henno stalked around the clearing in the opposite direction. And he turned the tables again – while also upping the stakes. “Aye, now I see why Sarah Cameron doesn’t trust you with her secrets. Because you can’t fucking keep a confidence.”
This brought Handon up short – and caused his own face to redden. He stopped circling and glared at Henno. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“The bad thing that happened to Sarah in Toronto. That made her marry that muppet, Mark.”
Handon couldn’t respond to this. He just ground his jaw.
Henno twisted the knife. “She said she’d never been willing to tell you about it. Didn’t want to tell you.”
Handon found his voice. “What, and she told you?” Now he pictured the two of them where he’d last found them – sitting side by side on Henno’s bunk.
“Aye.” Henno nodded slowly, an evil gleam in his eye.
Handon worked to breathe, and tried not react to this. He knew none of it mattered – none of this love-triangle bullshit between him and Henno and Sarah had anything to do with their mission, which was also the most important tasking in the world. Henno was just trying to needle him. And the stakes were too high for Handon to let it all fall apart because of interpersonal crap like this.
Battling over a woman.
But then he hesitated and thought again. Maybe Sarah was relevant to the mission. Maybe after meeting this woman, who had seemed to change him so much, and so quickly… maybe it was after that he no longer had the will to make the brutal choices that were necessary. Maybe she had ruined him for his job.
And then Henno, stalking back around again, made his own connection between the woman and the mission. “Aye, there’s a reason she prefers my company to yours. And it’s the same reason you can’t command this bloody team.”
And here it comes , Handon thought.
He knew in his bones that when Henno said what was coming next, there would be no coming back from it. It would be impossible for Henno to unsay – and impossible for him to unhear, or pretend he’d never heard in the first place.
And nothing in Alpha could ever be the same.
Henno’s voice was ice-cold steel. “It’s because you don’t have the resolve , mate. The resolve to do what’s necessary – whatever the cost . You don’t have the strength. You don’t have the nerve, the sack. You don’t have the bottle , Handon. You never did. And you never will.”
Silence descended on the clearing.
“Take your hand off your goddamned knife, Staff Sergeant.”
Handon said this before he realized what he was saying. And maybe Henno had moved his hand there without being conscious of it. But now they both knew exactly where they were – standing on a crumbling precipice, over a dark void, with nothing but violence, death, and chaos below. And they both knew they faced a plunge into that void – the prospect floated out in front of them in the air, impossible to ignore or look away from.
And what Handon was thinking in that frozen instant was:
I can’t have a mutiny on my hands. I can’t have Henno going off and doing whatever the hell he wants to, at any time, on his own authority. The team will fall apart – and that will cause the mission to fail. And that CANNOT happen.
My God – I’ve got to kill him.
He no longer saw any way around it. He couldn’t control him. He couldn’t force him to obey. He almost certainly couldn’t send him back. And it looked like he was never going to get killed fighting the dead – or anyone else for that matter.
And what Henno was thinking in that exact same instant was:
I can’t have Handon keep making these airy-fairy decisions. We can’t have someone in charge who is unwilling to do what’s necessary – WHATEVER is necessary. If we do, he’s going to cause the mission
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