Arrest (A Disarm Novel) by June Gray

“You okay?” she asked.
    “Yeah,” I said, busying myself with placing the napkin on my lap just right. “I think I just got a bad batch of sushi.”
    She plucked a piece off my plate and chewed on it. “The sushi tastes okay.”
    I lifted the glass up to wash the taste out of my mouth then quickly set it back down when I remembered it was filled with sake.
    Julie’s eyes got wide. “You’re not”—she looked around then mouthed the rest of her words—“pregnant, are you?”
    My head spun and I held on to the table for support. “No. I don’t think so.”
    “Have you been dizzy? Tired a lot? Headaches? Peeing more than usual?”
    I swallowed hard. I didn’t have to say anything; my horrified expression confirmed it.
    She covered her mouth with her hand. “Elsie . . .”
    “I’m not pregnant. I’ve been taking my pills religiously!” More or less.
    “But there’s always a chance with any kind of birth control,” she said.
    Tears sprung to my eyes, adding to the mounting evidence that I might indeed be with child. “I can’t be pregnant,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean, Henry and I haven’t really discussed having kids. I don’t know if we can even afford a child right now.”
    Julie reached across the table and gripped my hand, trying to hold me together. Maybe because I looked like I was ten seconds away from falling apart.
    “And at this stage of my life, I don’t really feel like I need a baby, you know? I have Henry, my career, our house. My life is full. My heart is full.” I dabbed at my eyes, my stomach a blender of amplified emotions. “I don’t know if we’re ready.”
    “I don’t think you can ever be ready.”
    “What if Henry doesn’t want this?” The thought horrified me, stopped me dead in my tracks.
    “Of course he does. Have you seen him with Will? He
wants
to be a dad.”
    “What if—”
    Julie squeezed my hands. “Look, we’ll get a pregnancy test at the drugstore on the way back. Then you’ll know the answer either way.”
    I drank water and chewed on edamame for the rest of the meal. Afterward, we went and bought the pregnancy test. Julie said I needed to use early morning pee to get the best results, which meant I’d have to wait until tomorrow.
    “I wish you didn’t have to leave this afternoon,” I said, staring at the box in my hand, wondering how I was going to survive the next sixteen hours.
    “Call me tomorrow and let me know, okay?” she said. “I don’t care what time it is in Texas, I want to know the results.”
    When we got back home, we found Henry and Will still playing. Will jumped up, the controller in his hand, and cried, “I beat Henry! Mom, I beat Henry!”
    Henry picked him up and held him upside down by the legs. “You weren’t supposed to tell them, you little squirt!” he said, making Will laugh uncontrollably. After setting him down, Henry turned to me. “What do you have there?”
    I panicked, clutching the bag tighter in my hand.
    Julie, thankfully, was on the ball. “We brought you back some sushi.” She carefully reached into the bag for the plastic box that held my nearly untouched spider and Philly rolls.
    “Will, you like sushi?” Henry asked.
    The boy made a face. “Ew. I don’t like fish.”
    Henry opened the box and showed him the round pieces. “Try one. If you don’t like it, I can make you a peanut butter and fish sandwich.”
    “Ewww!”
    “How about a peanut butter and seaweed sandwich then?”
    I felt a hitch in my chest as I watched Henry lead Will into the kitchen, but for the life of me, I couldn’t decipher what emotion was going through me. All I knew was that tomorrow morning everything was going to change.
    —
    “Henry, wake up.” I poked him in the arm but he didn’t stir. I pushed at his side but still nothing. So I flicked his nose.
    His eyes flew open and he sat up, assessing his surroundings. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”
    “There’s no emergency,” I said.
    He