Ashes to Ashes by Jenny Han Page B

wet.”
    â€œI just had a bath,” I say, and he nods.
    â€œWhat were you going to say?” he asks me. “What do you wish?”
    â€œI wish it didn’t have to be like this. It’s so . . . complicated.” More than Reeve even knows. “We haven’t talked about Rennie once.”
    He looks down at the ground. “I don’t want to talk about Rennie right now.”
    I’m about to say, If not now, then when? It’s already been two weeks since she died, and I think maybe we’d both feelbetter if we talked about her. But Reeve leans in close to me and nuzzles his face against mine. “Why is your skin so soft?” His breath tickles my cheek.
    I laugh, for what feels like the first time in forever. “I don’t know, because I’m a girl? All girls are soft.”
    He kisses my cheek. “No, you’re different. You have the softest skin of any girl I’ve ever known. And you always smell really good.” He’s kissing his way down my neck. “What is that smell?”
    â€œBluebells.” I’m shivering, and it’s not because of the cold. His hands are at my hips, under my coat. I have to lean against the car to keep my balance. “Bluebells and . . . burnt sugar.” It’s so hard to think.
    â€œYeah, that’s it. Sugar. My grandma used to have a thing of brown-sugar bath salts in her bathroom. . . . One time I dumped the whole bottle into the toilet because I wanted to see if it would fizz.” Reeve kisses me, his mouth open against mine, and I have that feeling I get when I step into the bath, warm all over. I let out a sigh. Softly he asks me, “Do you want to come inside for a minute?”
    I whisper back, “What, are you going to sneak me up to your room?”
    He grins. “Yeah. Why not?”
    I put my hands on his shoulders and tilt my head up at him.“Sorry to break it to you, but I’m not your girl Melanie Renfro. I don’t do that.” For the first time in my life, I wish I was that kind of girl.
    â€œI know you’re not like Mel,” he says, and I feel a slight twinge of jealousy. It sounds so affectionate. So intimate. Mel. Then he says, “You’re not like any other girl I’ve ever met.”
    I can feel myself flush. Shyly I say, “I don’t want your parents to see me.”
    Reeve kisses me again, with the confidence of a boy who knows exactly what he’s doing. His hands move under my sweatshirt, and I don’t even care that they’re cold. I just want him to keep on touching me. When he’s touching me, everything else fades mercifully away, and I’m not thinking about what I did to Rennie, what I did to Mary. It feels good to forget, even if it’s just for a moment.
    When I shiver, he stops abruptly and says, “You should go. It’s cold out here and your hair’s wet.”
    â€œOkay.” I start to stand up straight.
    â€œWait . . . five more minutes.”
    â€œFive more minutes,” I agree, pulling him toward me again.
    *  *  *
    The next morning everybody’s eating doughnuts by the vending machines, and I sneeze three times in a row. Reeve’s eyesmeet mine and he smiles a secret smile, but I don’t smile back.
    I force myself to turn away, like I didn’t see. Because I shouldn’t have gone to Reeve’s house; I shouldn’t have kissed him. I won’t make that mistake again.

Chapter Twelve
MARY
    I ’M ASLEEP MORE THAN I ’M awake now, if you can even call it sleeping. It’s not restful, and I don’t have dreams. It’s just darkness.
    When I’m awake and alert, I put everything I have into reading Aunt Bette’s books, hoping they’ll tell me something. Tonight I got about halfway through a book about how ghosts interact with the living world.
    I don’t have enough energy to finish it. But I