something here, boss.” Ree peeked around the corner of an aisle, and saw it.
The fuck? It was a Warhammer 40K Ork bike, painted red (naturally), from one of the pre-painted sets Grognard sold on commission.
And then, from behind her, she heard blaster fire. She hit the deck, turned, and saw that an Amidala’s blaster pistol prop was firing at random, twitching on its rack.
“Boss, we’ve got a problem!”
All at once, the store went crazy. Weapons fired off, CCG cards jumped out of their sleeves, burst into flame, and then were replaced by summoned creatures, artifacts, and spell effects.
Great, I’ve gone from Assault on Precinct 13 to Jumanji, Ree thought, reaching for her lightsaber.
She commando-crawled her way to a corner, out of the lines of fire from the blasters, bow-casters, and the rest of Grognard’s ranged armory. Unfortunately, that put her clear on the opposite side of the room from everyone else.
Drake and Grognard had taken cover behind an overturned table, firing at slivers, skeletons, oni , and other creatures that had appeared out of nowhere, summoned by Geekomantic artifacts gone haywire. Wickham had jumped the bar and was hiding, only the top of her hairpin visible over the bar rail.
Ree flashed her lightsaber on, hoping it had enough juice left in its nostalgia battery to get them through whatever wild magic was causing the store to go bugfuck crazy.
She cut her way through a goblin from Legend of the Five Rings , then took the legs off of a robot from Robo Rally . She crawled on and found herself face-to-navel with a Troll Hunter from World of Warcraft . The Troll raised a rifle to shoot, and Ree dove forward, hacking at the creature as she went.
The Troll matched her acrobatics and backflipped up onto a table. It kicked several game boxes off of their perch, and as they crashed to the floor, the boxes burst open, pieces coming to life, a cluster of miniature space fighters from Twilight Imperium forming up and taking a strafing run at the Troll.
The Troll fired its rifle in her direction, taking a chunk out of the concrete floor. Ree slashed up at the table, forcing the Troll back.
More of the Twilight Imperium spaceships had taken flight, red and blue plastic figures warring with one another while the green pieces opened fire on the Troll. The Troll swatted the pieces out of the air, then did a round-off from the table. It drew a flaming blue machete and growled in her direction.
Behind her, a Maine Coon–size Mi-go took wing with a “Skree!” Ree caught a quick glimpse of the others as she looked back toward the Troll. Still pinned down by errant weapon fire, as well as a rampaging ogre with a tetsubo.
She saw the Troll just in time to jump aside to avoid its machete. The creature cartwheeled forward with its cut and Ree caught a kick to the head. She staggered backward and lashed out with the lightsaber, and when she opened her eyes again, the creature was missing a leg. She pressed the advantage and finished the Troll off with a thrust, then took up its machete in her left hand, preparing for the inevitable failure of her magic sword.
The Mi-go skree! -ed its way around the room, leaving Ree with an opening to get to the end of the aisle. From there, it was a straight shot to the bar, and to backup.
Behind her, the Troll popped into ichor like monsters do . . . but so did her machete. Ree dropped the goopified sword as fast as she could, but it still got a healthy splash of ichor on her pants.
At least these are work pants, Ree thought. She’d stopped wearing her good jeans to Grognard’s when she and Drake got stuck in the sewer after Midnight Market.
Ree clicked off her lightsaber and switched out to the phaser as she did her best roadie-run along the aisle. Thirty feet . . . twenty-five.
And then Grey Dragon from Alley Assault jumped into the aisle and squared off against her, gray gi looking almost black in the low light. Alley Assault had never been more
The fuck? It was a Warhammer 40K Ork bike, painted red (naturally), from one of the pre-painted sets Grognard sold on commission.
And then, from behind her, she heard blaster fire. She hit the deck, turned, and saw that an Amidala’s blaster pistol prop was firing at random, twitching on its rack.
“Boss, we’ve got a problem!”
All at once, the store went crazy. Weapons fired off, CCG cards jumped out of their sleeves, burst into flame, and then were replaced by summoned creatures, artifacts, and spell effects.
Great, I’ve gone from Assault on Precinct 13 to Jumanji, Ree thought, reaching for her lightsaber.
She commando-crawled her way to a corner, out of the lines of fire from the blasters, bow-casters, and the rest of Grognard’s ranged armory. Unfortunately, that put her clear on the opposite side of the room from everyone else.
Drake and Grognard had taken cover behind an overturned table, firing at slivers, skeletons, oni , and other creatures that had appeared out of nowhere, summoned by Geekomantic artifacts gone haywire. Wickham had jumped the bar and was hiding, only the top of her hairpin visible over the bar rail.
Ree flashed her lightsaber on, hoping it had enough juice left in its nostalgia battery to get them through whatever wild magic was causing the store to go bugfuck crazy.
She cut her way through a goblin from Legend of the Five Rings , then took the legs off of a robot from Robo Rally . She crawled on and found herself face-to-navel with a Troll Hunter from World of Warcraft . The Troll raised a rifle to shoot, and Ree dove forward, hacking at the creature as she went.
The Troll matched her acrobatics and backflipped up onto a table. It kicked several game boxes off of their perch, and as they crashed to the floor, the boxes burst open, pieces coming to life, a cluster of miniature space fighters from Twilight Imperium forming up and taking a strafing run at the Troll.
The Troll fired its rifle in her direction, taking a chunk out of the concrete floor. Ree slashed up at the table, forcing the Troll back.
More of the Twilight Imperium spaceships had taken flight, red and blue plastic figures warring with one another while the green pieces opened fire on the Troll. The Troll swatted the pieces out of the air, then did a round-off from the table. It drew a flaming blue machete and growled in her direction.
Behind her, a Maine Coon–size Mi-go took wing with a “Skree!” Ree caught a quick glimpse of the others as she looked back toward the Troll. Still pinned down by errant weapon fire, as well as a rampaging ogre with a tetsubo.
She saw the Troll just in time to jump aside to avoid its machete. The creature cartwheeled forward with its cut and Ree caught a kick to the head. She staggered backward and lashed out with the lightsaber, and when she opened her eyes again, the creature was missing a leg. She pressed the advantage and finished the Troll off with a thrust, then took up its machete in her left hand, preparing for the inevitable failure of her magic sword.
The Mi-go skree! -ed its way around the room, leaving Ree with an opening to get to the end of the aisle. From there, it was a straight shot to the bar, and to backup.
Behind her, the Troll popped into ichor like monsters do . . . but so did her machete. Ree dropped the goopified sword as fast as she could, but it still got a healthy splash of ichor on her pants.
At least these are work pants, Ree thought. She’d stopped wearing her good jeans to Grognard’s when she and Drake got stuck in the sewer after Midnight Market.
Ree clicked off her lightsaber and switched out to the phaser as she did her best roadie-run along the aisle. Thirty feet . . . twenty-five.
And then Grey Dragon from Alley Assault jumped into the aisle and squared off against her, gray gi looking almost black in the low light. Alley Assault had never been more
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