doing a cheer that spells L-U-C-A-S and Lucas Cader is holding Cullen Witter’s head as red trickles down from his hairline and his eyes go glazy. He dies there, on the dirty, burgundy carpet of Pizza Hut, for a few sessions of mediocre sex with a used-up college dropout who does nails on the weekend for extra cash.
I could have very easily walked Alma Ember into her house that night and walked myself out the next morning, but I didn’t. I didn’t even leave the car. Alma kissed me on the mouth, backed up, looked let down, and then crawled out of the backseat. Mena Prescott could not stop giggling, and Lucas told Alma to have a nice night.
“That was awkward,” Lucas said, driving back across town to my house.
“Very,” Mena added.
“What do you mean?” I asked. I knew what they meant.
“I mean, she was ready to take you home, Cullen,” Lucas said.
“You think?” I asked. I knew he was right.
“Uhhh. She was all over you all night, you dork,” Mena butted in.
“She must be really desperate.” I laughed.
“You didn’t like her?” Lucas asked.
“She’s okay. A little too serious, though.”
“Too serious?”
“Yeah. I just wanted to watch a movie and eat some popcorn. That’s all.”
“Cullen. You’re the only guy in the world who would say what you just said, do you know that?”
“Yes, Lucas, I am aware.”
“Maybe you just need to date younger girls, you know, ones that aren’t so ready to get married and all that shit,” Mena suggested.
“Maybe I’m leaving Lily in a year and can probably find someone much better!” I yelled.
“Cullen Witter, folks! He lives in the future, only he does it today!” Lucas shouted out the window as we passed an endless span of trees, grass, and nothingness.
Gabriel wasn’t in his room when I got home, so I sat down on his floor and watched an old movie on his TV. Mine had been broken for a week. It took me less than fifteen minutes to fall asleep on his floor. When I woke up I had done that thing where you accidentally roll over on one arm and it goes completely dead in the middle of the night, but since you’re asleep you don’t know and so it just lies there under you all night and when you eventually wake up, it feels like there’s no arm there at all. In the mirror I noticed that the side of my face that had somehow been firmly planted into the wooden floor was solid red and had two creases running horizontally across it. I brushed my teeth. I took a long shower. I washed one side of my face better than the other, thinking that I might wash away the redness. I stepped out of the shower and onto the rug, which rested just beneath the bathroom heater. I lifted my head, closed my eyes, and let the hot air rush across and over my face and down my body, not drying me but warming me enough to regain feeling all over, as if I were riding in a hot air balloon. When I went into the kitchen, my parents were eating breakfast together and talking about bills. I fixed a bowl of Cheerios and sat down beside my dad. He looked over at me and grinned.
“You slept on that floor all night, huh?”
“Yes, I did. And a better night’s sleep I can’t remember!” I shoveled a spoon full of cereal into my mouth as Dad breathed hard in the place of saying,
Ha! Ha!
“Where’s your brother?” my mom said as she sat down across from me.
“Haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon,” I replied.
“Oh, how was your date, Cullen?” Dad asked.
“Boring.”
“That’s a shame. You’ll find the right person one day,” Mom added.
Book Title #76:
This Popcorn Tastes Like People.
It was three hours later and after calling everyone we knew and driving around town twice that we decided to call the police. It was a Thursday when my brother, the Left Hand of God, disappeared. It was on this same Thursday that John Barling appeared on national television to talk about the Lazarus woodpecker and how it had come back from the dead. Lucas Cader had
I could have very easily walked Alma Ember into her house that night and walked myself out the next morning, but I didn’t. I didn’t even leave the car. Alma kissed me on the mouth, backed up, looked let down, and then crawled out of the backseat. Mena Prescott could not stop giggling, and Lucas told Alma to have a nice night.
“That was awkward,” Lucas said, driving back across town to my house.
“Very,” Mena added.
“What do you mean?” I asked. I knew what they meant.
“I mean, she was ready to take you home, Cullen,” Lucas said.
“You think?” I asked. I knew he was right.
“Uhhh. She was all over you all night, you dork,” Mena butted in.
“She must be really desperate.” I laughed.
“You didn’t like her?” Lucas asked.
“She’s okay. A little too serious, though.”
“Too serious?”
“Yeah. I just wanted to watch a movie and eat some popcorn. That’s all.”
“Cullen. You’re the only guy in the world who would say what you just said, do you know that?”
“Yes, Lucas, I am aware.”
“Maybe you just need to date younger girls, you know, ones that aren’t so ready to get married and all that shit,” Mena suggested.
“Maybe I’m leaving Lily in a year and can probably find someone much better!” I yelled.
“Cullen Witter, folks! He lives in the future, only he does it today!” Lucas shouted out the window as we passed an endless span of trees, grass, and nothingness.
Gabriel wasn’t in his room when I got home, so I sat down on his floor and watched an old movie on his TV. Mine had been broken for a week. It took me less than fifteen minutes to fall asleep on his floor. When I woke up I had done that thing where you accidentally roll over on one arm and it goes completely dead in the middle of the night, but since you’re asleep you don’t know and so it just lies there under you all night and when you eventually wake up, it feels like there’s no arm there at all. In the mirror I noticed that the side of my face that had somehow been firmly planted into the wooden floor was solid red and had two creases running horizontally across it. I brushed my teeth. I took a long shower. I washed one side of my face better than the other, thinking that I might wash away the redness. I stepped out of the shower and onto the rug, which rested just beneath the bathroom heater. I lifted my head, closed my eyes, and let the hot air rush across and over my face and down my body, not drying me but warming me enough to regain feeling all over, as if I were riding in a hot air balloon. When I went into the kitchen, my parents were eating breakfast together and talking about bills. I fixed a bowl of Cheerios and sat down beside my dad. He looked over at me and grinned.
“You slept on that floor all night, huh?”
“Yes, I did. And a better night’s sleep I can’t remember!” I shoveled a spoon full of cereal into my mouth as Dad breathed hard in the place of saying,
Ha! Ha!
“Where’s your brother?” my mom said as she sat down across from me.
“Haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon,” I replied.
“Oh, how was your date, Cullen?” Dad asked.
“Boring.”
“That’s a shame. You’ll find the right person one day,” Mom added.
Book Title #76:
This Popcorn Tastes Like People.
It was three hours later and after calling everyone we knew and driving around town twice that we decided to call the police. It was a Thursday when my brother, the Left Hand of God, disappeared. It was on this same Thursday that John Barling appeared on national television to talk about the Lazarus woodpecker and how it had come back from the dead. Lucas Cader had
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