Baby Benefits by Emily McKay Page B

me more would be if by the time she arrived, Isabella was already comfortable with my company.”
    Again, he was lying, of course. He could think of a great many things that could please him more. A great many of them of involved stripping off Raina’s T-shirt and exploring the delicate skin underneath it.

    He spoke with such dry, humorless determination, she couldn’t help quirking an eyebrow in question. His response was just so…well, so like him.
    “Nothing could please you more?” she prodded. If he were still her boss—that is, if she was trudging along, being the dutiful employee—she’d let his bald-faced lie slide. But things were different now.
    He looked at her without so much as a twitch to his expression. “What do you mean?”
    “Frankly I can’t tell what you’re less excited about: having Kitty arrive or spending time with your daughter.” Raina sauntered forward until she stood just before him, Isabella propped on her hip. “In nine years, I’ve never seen you approach a project with less enthusiasm. With less interest. With less pleasure. Therefore, you are most obviously not pleased about spending time with your daughter.”
    “Your point?”
    She shook her head with mock sympathy for his ignorance. “Oh, come now, Derek. Surely even you can see the point I’m trying to make. This is your daughter. How exactly do you think your lack of enthusiasm makes her feel?”
    Almost as if she’d been coached on her part, Isabella clutched her tiny fists in Raina’s shirt and buried her face against her arm, as if desperate not to be passed over to Derek. Raina couldn’t have asked for a better performance to make her point.
    “She’s five months old,” Derek deadpanned. “I don’t think she feels much of anything.”
    “Well, there’s your problem.”
    “My problem.”
    She could tell from the complete lack of emotion in his voice that he was actually amused by their conversation. And furthermore, he was expecting her to share the joke. But the truth was, it all hit too close to home. So instead of amused, she just felt annoyed.
    “Exactly. Your problem with Isabella. Is it any wonder she doesn’t want to go into your arms, when you treat her as if she doesn’t even have feelings?”
    “She’s five months old.”
    “And you don’t believe five-month-olds have feelings?” Suddenly, they weren’t just talking about Isabella anymore. Years of repressed feelings boiled up inside her. “Boy, that’s classic Derek.”
    “What is that supposed to mean?”
    She opened her mouth to speak, but everything that popped into her mind sounded irrationally angry. After all, was it really his fault that she’d stupidly fallen in love with him? No.
    And no one had forced her to entertain countless fantasies in which he suddenly realized she was everything he desired. It certainly wasn’t fair of her to blame him for not making her fantasies come true.
    On the other hand, he may not have intended to, but he’d hurt her feelings. She felt his complete lack of awareness like a knife to the chest. How could she not be angry and frustrated by his ignorance?
    Worse still, how could she explain any of this to him without revealing how vulnerable she was to him? How much she loved him?
    So instead of responding, she snapped her mouth shut and clutched Isabella closer as she retreated into the kitchen.
    For a moment, she simply stood there, relieved to be out from under his assessing gaze. When she heard him entering the kitchen behind her, she crossed to the cabinet and pulled out a glass. As she helped herself to water from the refrigerator door, she was all too aware of Derek behind her and the question hanging between them.
    Suddenly the question felt much bigger than it should have. Which was her own damn fault. If she’d just answered him outright, he wouldn’t realize how much her answer revealed.
    Since he was still watching her, waiting for her answer, she sucked it up and