Barmy Britain

Barmy Britain by Jack Crossley

Book: Barmy Britain by Jack Crossley Read Free Book Online
Authors: Jack Crossley
Ads: Link
I am.’
    The Times
    Prince William and Kate Middleton checked into a resort hotel as Martin and Rosemary. Prince Charles and Camilla once checked in as Fred and Gladys.
    Sun
    The Sunday Times reports: Well might Prince Charles have snapped at Diana (after a row about his relationship with Camilla): ‘Do you seriously expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress?’
    Sunday Times
    Is Prince Charles fit to be king? Of course he isn’t, wrote Simon Hoggart in the Guardian . ‘Which of his male ancestors were?’
George VI hated the job.
Edward VIII? No way.
George V – a martinet who loved stamps and killing wildlife.
Edward II? I think not.
    Among the few good monarchs count Victoria and the two Elizabeths. The men have been hopeless.
    Guardian
    Want to join Prince William’s set, described in the Tatler as ‘the jolliest court in history?’ You need to be loyal, vote Conservative, be a good horseman or woman but a terrible dancer, be anti-drugs, have a strong drinking constitution and be ‘a good egg’.
    Daily Telegraph
    How on earth do you find a wedding present for the girl who is to become the Queen of England? Gandhi didn’t have a problem: ‘I have given all my possessions away’, he explained.
    Sunday Telegraph
    The two royal kneelers used during the wedding service were made from orange boxes due to wartime austerity. Gifts from the public included a hand-knitted cardigan, two pairs of bed socks and a hand-knitted tea cosy.
    Sunday Telegraph
    When the newly-weds left Buckingham Palace after the wedding breakfast Elizabeth hid her favourite corgi (Susan) under a rug in their carriage so that the dog could go with them.
    Sunday Telegraph
    When Elizabeth became Queen, Philip knew that he would have to keep one step behind her in public. But when the door is closed on the outside world he is very much the head of the family. There was an occasion at Sandringham when he was driving with the Queen in the passenger seat and an aide in the back. He was driving fast and the Queen asked him to slow down. Philip said: ‘One more peep out of you and you can walk the rest of the way.’
    Daily Mail
    Gyles Brandreth, author of Philip and Elizabeth: Portrait of a Marriage , says. She wears the crown, but he wears the trousers.
    Sunday Telegraph
    Tracy Borman is writing a biography of Henrietta Howard, a cultured woman of the 18th century, who for 20 years was the mistress of George II. The king actually preferred his wife, with whom he was in love, but duty was stern in those days and a monarch had to have a mistress. For all those years, seven days a week, he spent four hours alone with her (from 9pm). No doubt, at first, they did the obvious but eventually they seem to have just talked. One courtier said it worked because he was boring and she was deaf.
    Simon Hoggart, Guardian
    Keeping the monarchy costs every man, woman and child in Britain the equivalent of one loaf of bread a year.
    The Times
    The Queen’s sharp eye for economy is well known in royal circles. Two footmen who were found together in a bath in the Royal Mews explained that they were helping Her Majesty’s drive to reduce gas bills.
    Observer
    To celebrate Queen Elizabeth II making history when, at 81 years and 243 days old, she became the oldest Monarch to sit on the English throne, The Times published 81 Facts About the Monarchy, including:
Queen Elizabeth I owned the world’s first flushing toilet, presented to her by her godson, the inventor Sir John Harrington.
Charles II (The Merry Monarch) fathered 13 children by his mistresses and none by his wife.
George I and his mistress were known as the Elephant and Castle, because she was so tall and he was so fat.
Queen Elizabeth II is the only British monarch to have been properly trained to change a spark plug.
She demoted a footman for feeding her corgis whisky.
    The Times
    It is said that Prince Charles once chided Ronnie Scott, the jazz club man, for not paying his

Similar Books

Mickey & Me

Dan Gutman

Brushed by Scandal

Gail Whitiker

Kiss My Name

Calvin Wade

Kamchatka

Marcelo Figueras

Asher's Dilemma

Coleen Kwan

Mayan Lover

Wendy S. Hales