mathematics. Technical drawing, needlepoint, and cookery were also taught, and for those like Kitty, who enjoyed words, reading and writing were on offer, too, with the proviso that this skill would one day be properly employed, perhaps in a secretarial career.
History was another important subject; daily, they received instruction in the glorious development of the British State. Kitty enjoyed these lessons, which featured many stories of magic and far-off lands, but couldn’t help sensing certain limitations in what they were being taught. Often she would put up her hand.
“Yes, Kitty, what is it this time?” Her teachers’ tones often displayed a slight weariness, which they did their best to disguise.
“Please, sir, tell us more about the government that Mr. Gladstone overthrew. You say it had a parliament already.We’ve got a parliament now. So why was the old one so wicked?”
“Well, Kitty, if you’d been listening properly, you’d have heard me say that the Old Parliament was not wicked so much as weak. It was run by ordinary people, like you and me, who did not have any magical powers. Imagine that! Of course, that meant that they were constantly getting harassed by other, stronger countries, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Now, which was the most dangerous foreign nation in those days … let me see now … Jakob?”
“Don’t know, sir.”
“Speak up, boy, don’t mumble! Well, I’m surprised to hear you say that, Jakob, you of all people. It was the Holy Roman Empire, of course. Your ancestors! The Czech Emperor ruled most of Europe from his castle in Prague; he was so fat he sat on a wheeled throne of steel and gold and was pulled about the corridors by a single bone-white ox. When he wished to leave the castle, they had to lower him out by reinforced pulley. He kept an aviary of parakeets and shot a different colored one each night for his supper. Yes, you may well be disgusted, children. That was the kind of man who ruled Europe in those days, and our Old Parliament was helpless against him. He governed a terrible assembly of magicians, who were wicked and corrupt and whose leader, Hans Meyrink, is said to have been a vampire. Their soldiers rampaged— yes, Kitty what is it now?”
“Well, sir, if the Old Parliament was so incompetent, how come the fat Emperor never invaded Britain, because he didn’t, did he, sir? And why—”
“I can answer only one question at a time, Kitty, I’m not a magician! Britain was lucky, that’s all. Prague was always slow to act; the Emperor spent much of his time drinking beer and engaging in terrible debauchery. But he would have turned his evil gaze to London eventually, believe you me. Fortunately for us, there were a few magicians in London in those days, to whom the poor powerless ministers sometimes came for advice. And one of them was Mr. Gladstone. He saw the dangers of our situation and decided on a preemptive strike. Can you remember what he did, children? Yes—Sylvester?”
“He persuaded the ministers to hand over control to him, sir. He went in to see them one evening and talked so cleverly that they elected him Prime Minister there and then.”
“That’s right, good boy, Sylvester, you’ll get a star. Yes, it was the Night of the Long Counsel. After a lengthy debate in Parliament, Gladstone’s eloquence won the day and the ministers unanimously resigned in his favor. He organized a defensive attack on Prague the following year, and overthrew the Emperor. Yes, Abigail?”
“Did he free the parakeets, sir?”
“I’m sure he did. Gladstone was a very kind man. He was sober and moderate in all his tastes and wore the same starched shirt each day, except on Sundays, when his mother cleaned it for him. After that, London’s power increased, while Prague’s diminished. And as Jakob might realize, if he weren’t slumped so rudely in his seat, that was when many Czech citizens, like his family, immigrated to Britain.
History was another important subject; daily, they received instruction in the glorious development of the British State. Kitty enjoyed these lessons, which featured many stories of magic and far-off lands, but couldn’t help sensing certain limitations in what they were being taught. Often she would put up her hand.
“Yes, Kitty, what is it this time?” Her teachers’ tones often displayed a slight weariness, which they did their best to disguise.
“Please, sir, tell us more about the government that Mr. Gladstone overthrew. You say it had a parliament already.We’ve got a parliament now. So why was the old one so wicked?”
“Well, Kitty, if you’d been listening properly, you’d have heard me say that the Old Parliament was not wicked so much as weak. It was run by ordinary people, like you and me, who did not have any magical powers. Imagine that! Of course, that meant that they were constantly getting harassed by other, stronger countries, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Now, which was the most dangerous foreign nation in those days … let me see now … Jakob?”
“Don’t know, sir.”
“Speak up, boy, don’t mumble! Well, I’m surprised to hear you say that, Jakob, you of all people. It was the Holy Roman Empire, of course. Your ancestors! The Czech Emperor ruled most of Europe from his castle in Prague; he was so fat he sat on a wheeled throne of steel and gold and was pulled about the corridors by a single bone-white ox. When he wished to leave the castle, they had to lower him out by reinforced pulley. He kept an aviary of parakeets and shot a different colored one each night for his supper. Yes, you may well be disgusted, children. That was the kind of man who ruled Europe in those days, and our Old Parliament was helpless against him. He governed a terrible assembly of magicians, who were wicked and corrupt and whose leader, Hans Meyrink, is said to have been a vampire. Their soldiers rampaged— yes, Kitty what is it now?”
“Well, sir, if the Old Parliament was so incompetent, how come the fat Emperor never invaded Britain, because he didn’t, did he, sir? And why—”
“I can answer only one question at a time, Kitty, I’m not a magician! Britain was lucky, that’s all. Prague was always slow to act; the Emperor spent much of his time drinking beer and engaging in terrible debauchery. But he would have turned his evil gaze to London eventually, believe you me. Fortunately for us, there were a few magicians in London in those days, to whom the poor powerless ministers sometimes came for advice. And one of them was Mr. Gladstone. He saw the dangers of our situation and decided on a preemptive strike. Can you remember what he did, children? Yes—Sylvester?”
“He persuaded the ministers to hand over control to him, sir. He went in to see them one evening and talked so cleverly that they elected him Prime Minister there and then.”
“That’s right, good boy, Sylvester, you’ll get a star. Yes, it was the Night of the Long Counsel. After a lengthy debate in Parliament, Gladstone’s eloquence won the day and the ministers unanimously resigned in his favor. He organized a defensive attack on Prague the following year, and overthrew the Emperor. Yes, Abigail?”
“Did he free the parakeets, sir?”
“I’m sure he did. Gladstone was a very kind man. He was sober and moderate in all his tastes and wore the same starched shirt each day, except on Sundays, when his mother cleaned it for him. After that, London’s power increased, while Prague’s diminished. And as Jakob might realize, if he weren’t slumped so rudely in his seat, that was when many Czech citizens, like his family, immigrated to Britain.
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