you might just want to be here with me.”
She didn’t answer for a long time and he remained stone. Finally, she spoke her mind. “I’m afraid if I’m not the proper wife, you’ll leave me.”
Brody fell back on the bed so fast he bumped his head, almost cracking the headboard. After a few swear words, he sat back up again. “Let’s get something straight. I’m not going to hurt you or force you or leave you. I would like to sleep next to you, but if it bothers you, I’ll be fine in the barn.”
She nodded and wondered if he could see her in the dark. “All right. I’d like you to stay here, with me, and if you want to touch me now and then, I wouldn’t mind.” She knew she didn’t sound sure of anything, but it was the best she could offer.
After a while, he slid back down beside her. “Why on earth would you think I’d leave? Being here, working for myself, makes me feel alive, and touching you just now and then is more than I’d ever dreamed of asking for. But much as I like it, I don’t want you letting me if you’re just doing it because you think it’s your duty.”
She wanted to ask Brody a dozen whys, but she didn’t. The memory of her first husband came to mind. This had been his place, and he’d been fifteen years older than her when they married. He’d always made her feel like she was visiting in his house, even yelling if she moved anything. He’d made her feel like she’d married up when she’d found him and she should always be grateful. With each month’s passing he seemed angrier at her because she didn’t get pregnant. By the end of their first year they were no longer talking. He just gave orders and yelled complaints while she grew silent.
When he left for the war, the last thing he’d said to her was not to change anything on his farm. She’d waited a year after they notified her he’d died before she even put away his clothes. She’d never cried for Venny or for Samuel five years later.
Yet a tear rolled down her cheek at the possibility that she might have been treating Brody as a visitor in what was now half his house. He hadn’t started this, and he hadn’t asked for much.
Silently, she moved until they touched. As always, she felt him stiffen at the contact for that first moment. “Hold me,” she whispered, “until I fall asleep. Not because you should, but only if you want to.”
His arm tightened around her. “I’m not leaving,” he answered and kissed the top of her head. “We’ll figure this out somehow.” His hand moved comfortingly along her shoulder.
She didn’t answer, but ten minutes later when she knew he was asleep, she reached up and unbuttoned a few buttons at her neck.
Chapter 6
The next morning Brody woke Valerie up after he’d dressed. Dawn was just coming into their room as he stood over her. Strands of her braid had come free, and as he moved her hair from her face, she opened sleepy eyes.
“Morning, beautiful,” he said.
“Morning.” She stretched.
He fought the urge to trace his hand over the outline of her body as the cotton molded against her skin. Several times in the night he’d reached to touch her lightly, tucking her arm under the cover, shifting her against his shoulder, and one time letting his hand rest atop her hip. Once, she’d rolled slightly toward him, pressing her breast against his side. He’d kissed her lightly on her sleeping mouth, and he swore she’d made a little sound of pleasure.
“I’ll milk the cows while you get dressed and fix breakfast. Then we’ll be ready to leave for town.” He noticed that the collar of her nightgown was open and wished he’d been brave enough to talk about how it had felt to have her beside him all night.
“Be careful,” she ordered, cuddling back into the covers. “Watch out for the cows.”
He laughed. “If you hear a shot, you’ll know you have one less cow.”
An hour later, as he helped her into the buggy, he kissed her lightly on the mouth and
She didn’t answer for a long time and he remained stone. Finally, she spoke her mind. “I’m afraid if I’m not the proper wife, you’ll leave me.”
Brody fell back on the bed so fast he bumped his head, almost cracking the headboard. After a few swear words, he sat back up again. “Let’s get something straight. I’m not going to hurt you or force you or leave you. I would like to sleep next to you, but if it bothers you, I’ll be fine in the barn.”
She nodded and wondered if he could see her in the dark. “All right. I’d like you to stay here, with me, and if you want to touch me now and then, I wouldn’t mind.” She knew she didn’t sound sure of anything, but it was the best she could offer.
After a while, he slid back down beside her. “Why on earth would you think I’d leave? Being here, working for myself, makes me feel alive, and touching you just now and then is more than I’d ever dreamed of asking for. But much as I like it, I don’t want you letting me if you’re just doing it because you think it’s your duty.”
She wanted to ask Brody a dozen whys, but she didn’t. The memory of her first husband came to mind. This had been his place, and he’d been fifteen years older than her when they married. He’d always made her feel like she was visiting in his house, even yelling if she moved anything. He’d made her feel like she’d married up when she’d found him and she should always be grateful. With each month’s passing he seemed angrier at her because she didn’t get pregnant. By the end of their first year they were no longer talking. He just gave orders and yelled complaints while she grew silent.
When he left for the war, the last thing he’d said to her was not to change anything on his farm. She’d waited a year after they notified her he’d died before she even put away his clothes. She’d never cried for Venny or for Samuel five years later.
Yet a tear rolled down her cheek at the possibility that she might have been treating Brody as a visitor in what was now half his house. He hadn’t started this, and he hadn’t asked for much.
Silently, she moved until they touched. As always, she felt him stiffen at the contact for that first moment. “Hold me,” she whispered, “until I fall asleep. Not because you should, but only if you want to.”
His arm tightened around her. “I’m not leaving,” he answered and kissed the top of her head. “We’ll figure this out somehow.” His hand moved comfortingly along her shoulder.
She didn’t answer, but ten minutes later when she knew he was asleep, she reached up and unbuttoned a few buttons at her neck.
Chapter 6
The next morning Brody woke Valerie up after he’d dressed. Dawn was just coming into their room as he stood over her. Strands of her braid had come free, and as he moved her hair from her face, she opened sleepy eyes.
“Morning, beautiful,” he said.
“Morning.” She stretched.
He fought the urge to trace his hand over the outline of her body as the cotton molded against her skin. Several times in the night he’d reached to touch her lightly, tucking her arm under the cover, shifting her against his shoulder, and one time letting his hand rest atop her hip. Once, she’d rolled slightly toward him, pressing her breast against his side. He’d kissed her lightly on her sleeping mouth, and he swore she’d made a little sound of pleasure.
“I’ll milk the cows while you get dressed and fix breakfast. Then we’ll be ready to leave for town.” He noticed that the collar of her nightgown was open and wished he’d been brave enough to talk about how it had felt to have her beside him all night.
“Be careful,” she ordered, cuddling back into the covers. “Watch out for the cows.”
He laughed. “If you hear a shot, you’ll know you have one less cow.”
An hour later, as he helped her into the buggy, he kissed her lightly on the mouth and
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