and my head dashed through the gutter, wondering what lie beneath before I shushed the lust and tried to relax the nerves that had her shrinking before my very eyes.
I rounded my desk, wanting to be close to her, but decided to give her space and let her gain her footing first. I perched on the edge of my desk, gesturing at the food. “I remember you saying something about only having one shrimp?”
“Oh god,” she winced, covering her face with her hands. “It was a complete nightmare and it's just beginning. They're going to eat us alive at the wedding. They're going to poke a hole into every story and picture. And then I'm not just going to be pathetic. I'm going to be a money hungry liar on top of it.”
I felt the frayed rope that she'd been clutching, the control that was slipping through her fingers. “It's going to be okay-”
“Oh, it's gonna be a lot of things. Painful. Embarrassing. And if you're serious about the twenty thousand, very expensive. Okay's not really on the docket.” She turned to the table and plucked a handful of grapes, stuffing them in her mouth. She chewed them slowly, fingering the white linen tablecloth. When she finished, she leveled with me. “Sorry, I kind of do this non stop bullet, word vomit thing when I'm nervous.”
A quiet smile teased my lips. “You're nervous?”
“I think you know the effect you have on women, Xander.”
“I don't care about the effect I have on women, Penny. I care about the effect I have on you.”
Her lips were parted and I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so badly. Not ravage her, that would come later. I wanted to feel her lips against my lips. I wanted to taste her with my tongue. I wanted to feel her open for me like a flower reaching toward the sun.
She snapped her mouth shut, turning away from me like she'd just been caught doing something she shouldn't have. We were both caught it seemed. Me, the guy who frequented sex clubs and bars to get his rocks off; her, the kind of woman that avoided those kinds of places. Two people who made an arrangement, shook on it, put a price tag on it, yet were rewriting the terms every second we were together.
She sniffed and edged her way around me, being careful to stay out of arms reach. She went to the window. The sun turned her hair caramel.
“This is insane, you know.”
“Insane?” I dismissed that, shaking my head slowly. I waited until she dropped her hands and let me see her. Really see her, past the beauty and the mask of indifference; the bun she'd pulled to the top of her head and the disarming smile. “I know this thing we're doing together is-”
“Awkward?” she offered.
“To say the least. But I don't think you're insane. I think you're brave...and way too nice.”
She walked right past the compliment, her gold fleck eyes catching fire. “Too nice?”
Usually my words never failed me, but with her, things weren't coming out right. “I didn't mean it as an insult. It's an observation.”
“And you must see a lot way up here on the 26th floor,” she said vehemently. Sadness was no longer rippling through her gaze. She looked ready to tear me to pieces. “We haven't even known each other for twenty four hours and you think you've got me all figured out?”
Anger rose inside me, ready to match hers, but I gripped the edge of my desk, glancing at the folders stacked around me. “This I have figured out. How to strategize and make money. Money I'm good at. Earning it, spending it.” I gritted my teeth. And giving it away. I thought I was being generous, but maybe I insulted her? “Is this about the money?”
“No,” she said tersely. She angrily swatted a renegade brown strand from her eyes. “I mean, maybe? But I...” She didn’t finish.
I had a feeling she was going to say she needed it. I didn't feel I had the right to ask why and the why was irrelevant. But I knew the money was a symbol; control, an invisible line in the sand. It protected us both.
I decided
I rounded my desk, wanting to be close to her, but decided to give her space and let her gain her footing first. I perched on the edge of my desk, gesturing at the food. “I remember you saying something about only having one shrimp?”
“Oh god,” she winced, covering her face with her hands. “It was a complete nightmare and it's just beginning. They're going to eat us alive at the wedding. They're going to poke a hole into every story and picture. And then I'm not just going to be pathetic. I'm going to be a money hungry liar on top of it.”
I felt the frayed rope that she'd been clutching, the control that was slipping through her fingers. “It's going to be okay-”
“Oh, it's gonna be a lot of things. Painful. Embarrassing. And if you're serious about the twenty thousand, very expensive. Okay's not really on the docket.” She turned to the table and plucked a handful of grapes, stuffing them in her mouth. She chewed them slowly, fingering the white linen tablecloth. When she finished, she leveled with me. “Sorry, I kind of do this non stop bullet, word vomit thing when I'm nervous.”
A quiet smile teased my lips. “You're nervous?”
“I think you know the effect you have on women, Xander.”
“I don't care about the effect I have on women, Penny. I care about the effect I have on you.”
Her lips were parted and I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so badly. Not ravage her, that would come later. I wanted to feel her lips against my lips. I wanted to taste her with my tongue. I wanted to feel her open for me like a flower reaching toward the sun.
She snapped her mouth shut, turning away from me like she'd just been caught doing something she shouldn't have. We were both caught it seemed. Me, the guy who frequented sex clubs and bars to get his rocks off; her, the kind of woman that avoided those kinds of places. Two people who made an arrangement, shook on it, put a price tag on it, yet were rewriting the terms every second we were together.
She sniffed and edged her way around me, being careful to stay out of arms reach. She went to the window. The sun turned her hair caramel.
“This is insane, you know.”
“Insane?” I dismissed that, shaking my head slowly. I waited until she dropped her hands and let me see her. Really see her, past the beauty and the mask of indifference; the bun she'd pulled to the top of her head and the disarming smile. “I know this thing we're doing together is-”
“Awkward?” she offered.
“To say the least. But I don't think you're insane. I think you're brave...and way too nice.”
She walked right past the compliment, her gold fleck eyes catching fire. “Too nice?”
Usually my words never failed me, but with her, things weren't coming out right. “I didn't mean it as an insult. It's an observation.”
“And you must see a lot way up here on the 26th floor,” she said vehemently. Sadness was no longer rippling through her gaze. She looked ready to tear me to pieces. “We haven't even known each other for twenty four hours and you think you've got me all figured out?”
Anger rose inside me, ready to match hers, but I gripped the edge of my desk, glancing at the folders stacked around me. “This I have figured out. How to strategize and make money. Money I'm good at. Earning it, spending it.” I gritted my teeth. And giving it away. I thought I was being generous, but maybe I insulted her? “Is this about the money?”
“No,” she said tersely. She angrily swatted a renegade brown strand from her eyes. “I mean, maybe? But I...” She didn’t finish.
I had a feeling she was going to say she needed it. I didn't feel I had the right to ask why and the why was irrelevant. But I knew the money was a symbol; control, an invisible line in the sand. It protected us both.
I decided
Similar Books
