Behaving Like Adults by Anna Maxted

is a dumb fool.
    â€˜I’ll deal with the Ex,’ she said quietly. ‘You take the Pilot. Nightmare city.’
    She frogmarched Nick to a dim corner like a cop dragging an offender away from a crime scene. I turned to Stuart. He was wiping the blood off his mouth with his sleeve.
    â€˜I’m so sorry,’ I said, meaning it.
    â€˜That bloke is a fucking nut.’
    I made a sympathetic face. I mean, what do you say?
Yeah, I know
. I dated the man for five years, I agreed to marry him. If he
was
a fucking nut, it didn’t reflect well on me. But, you know, this was good. Not only did Nick lack the drive to join me in the lovely life I was forging formyself, he had just shown himself to be a thug. He would have held me back. Definitely, definitely, the right decision. All the same, I wasn’t comfortable with Stuart slagging him off. That was
my
job.
    Stuart must have seen something in my eyes because he shut up. And grinned. His teeth were red.
    I giggled. ‘You look like Dracula.’
    His smile drooped. He groaned. ‘I feel dizzy.’
    I felt terrible. ‘Stuart’ – I had to concentrate not to pronounce it
Schtuarch
– ‘Stuart, do you want me to get the club to call you a cab?’
    He looked alarmed. ‘No, no. My car’s here.’
    â€˜But you’ve been drinking.’
    â€˜No, I haven’t. Honest. Holly, don’t look at me like that! It’s true, I haven’t. If I drive, I don’t drink. Ooof.’ He put a hand to his chin and winced. ‘But, maybe I could do with a chaperone and you could do with a lift. I don’t want to tear you away though. What time is it?’
    Bizarrely, this reminded me of when Nick and I were about to catch an internal flight from New York and our pilot sat beside us in the waiting area. Nick doesn’t wear a watch and I’d broken mine. I whispered to him, ‘What’s the time on the pilot’s watch?’ Nick – to whom my fear of flying was, like everything, a joke – glanced at it, turned his voice Hollywood and boomed in an evil husk, ‘Time to
die!
’
    â€˜It’s a quarter to twelve,’ I told Stuart.
    I’d planned to stay till the end, but then it nearly was chucking-out time. No one needed me – all my babies were walking, talking just fine. Their loving mother, however, could barely stand. A lift would be great. It would serve Nick right. And I owed it to Stuart. Poor guy, his jaw was caked in blood.
    â€˜If you’re getting dizzy spells, I ought to stay with you. But my house is miles out of your way.’
    He smiled. His teeth were pink. ‘Listen to yourself, Hol. There’s such a thing as being too proud.’
    Of all the cheek.
    â€˜Let’s go,’ I said.
    Stuart seemed alert until we turned into my road, then he zigzagged the car. I yelped and grabbed the wheel.
    â€˜Sorry! Christ, my head. What a weird sensation, all buzzy, like I was floating. I didn’t know where I was for a second. Something must have jolted when Nick attacked me. We’re okay though. We’re safe.’
    My heart fluttered out of nowhere. I ignored it. ‘Look Pull in here. I’m a minute up the road. Come in, have a glass of water, then you can take a taxi from mine. It’s too dangerous to drive.’
    We wove along the road together, then I unlocked my door and stood aside to let Stuart into my home. Mean though it was, I felt irritated. I’m past the age where a party is a failure unless you socialise till dawn. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I enjoy being in bed asleep by midnight. It was one of the few perks of being engaged. And you know what? Compared to some of my friends, that’s
late
. Truth was, I was too tired and drunk and old to play geisha to this guy and, while it wasn’t his fault, I was annoyed with him for making me.
    â€˜Do you want some water then?’ I said, hoping the grudge didn’t