too. I’ll just drive to the mall where the
gym is and just sign up. I feel like laughing and floating around the store at
the same time. I’ve never had this much direction in my life, or purpose. Is
this how it feels to have meaning in life? Yes!
************
That wasn’t so bad, it was great actually,
liberating. I walked into the gym, and yes, I was intimidated by all the
fitness freaks, working out during lunch time...Who does that? Well,
looks like I’ll get to find out pretty soon. I got a tour of the facility. It
looks rather intimidating (Wait, I’ve said that already). The machines are just
so big and they look like they can hurt me instead of burning calories. The
nice man at the counter was just blissful when describing them. I think it’s
that hormone you get after exercising that they say makes you happy. I’m sure
if I’d demanded a demonstration, he would have jumped on quite happily to show
me. He wasn’t all groggy and constipated like the rest of the world either. I’d
like to see him having a confrontation with a pissed off civilian. Actually
that’s quite funny.
“Hey, exercise is good for you!” he says,
jumping up and down with joy.
“Oh, fuck off!” says the civilian.
Oh, where do I come up with these things?
Anyway, the gym is full of machines. I have been assured that on my first day,
the trainers will show me how to use the machines. However, I get a week of
free personal training. I paid them. My last money, going into exercise! I need
all the strength I can get so that I don’t stop half way and quit. Apparently
there’s a fun aerobics class in the evening. There’s aerobics and tae-bo (some
sort of martial arts exercise). It’s exciting, I am excited. Kate and I
did our famous celebratory dance when I got back to the boutique. We just
frantically shake our bottoms while jumping around in circles, it is great!
I just got a text from my sister. She’s
coming to visit this week. That’s okay. I won’t allow my jealousy of her
accomplishments ruin my plans to finally get in touch with the man of my
dreams. I think I’ll also develop a vegetable patch somewhere in the yard. I
read somewhere in a magazine that growing your own organic vegetables is good
for the mind...or your finances, I don’t quite remember the exact words. I’ll
grow some spinach and tomatoes. I don’t like spinach, I hate it in fact, but I
have to eat it. I am going to be a vegetarian. Yes! No meat while I’m in the
gym. I want this to be effective, you know. I’m going on a healthy eating plan,
I prefer not to call it a diet because then I’m going to cheat. A healthy
lifestyle is more like it. I don’t want to be in the food prison called a diet.
I am this big because I love food. If I go on a diet , I’m sure
going to cheat; sneak in some chips or something once in a while. It’s a tough
business losing weight. I already told my parents that I’m changing my eating
habits. My father was horrified when I brought it up. He thinks I’m going to
starve myself. I restrained myself from informing him that trading a packet of
biscuits and sugary goodies for broccoli, is not starving myself, it’s saving
my life. I suggested he join me, but dad...he’s old fashioned. He claims he
gets his exercise when he herds his cattle at the cattle post. I’m sure by now
they have already informed my sister about my lifestyle change. Mum says I’m
being absurd and nonsensical. No, what’s nonsensical is them allowing me to get
this big without consulting me first. Yes, I blame my parents for being fat. I
would be skinny, if I knew what broccoli tastes like...well, I did have a taste
a while ago and I felt like vomiting. The stuff is disgusting, in that it has
no taste. It tastes like a watery leaf with hair on it, no wonder I gagged.
Ah, it’s all I think about now. The gym. It
just further proves how pathetic and uneventful my life has been thus far. I
have nothing to occupy my thoughts, since I cleared
gym is and just sign up. I feel like laughing and floating around the store at
the same time. I’ve never had this much direction in my life, or purpose. Is
this how it feels to have meaning in life? Yes!
************
That wasn’t so bad, it was great actually,
liberating. I walked into the gym, and yes, I was intimidated by all the
fitness freaks, working out during lunch time...Who does that? Well,
looks like I’ll get to find out pretty soon. I got a tour of the facility. It
looks rather intimidating (Wait, I’ve said that already). The machines are just
so big and they look like they can hurt me instead of burning calories. The
nice man at the counter was just blissful when describing them. I think it’s
that hormone you get after exercising that they say makes you happy. I’m sure
if I’d demanded a demonstration, he would have jumped on quite happily to show
me. He wasn’t all groggy and constipated like the rest of the world either. I’d
like to see him having a confrontation with a pissed off civilian. Actually
that’s quite funny.
“Hey, exercise is good for you!” he says,
jumping up and down with joy.
“Oh, fuck off!” says the civilian.
Oh, where do I come up with these things?
Anyway, the gym is full of machines. I have been assured that on my first day,
the trainers will show me how to use the machines. However, I get a week of
free personal training. I paid them. My last money, going into exercise! I need
all the strength I can get so that I don’t stop half way and quit. Apparently
there’s a fun aerobics class in the evening. There’s aerobics and tae-bo (some
sort of martial arts exercise). It’s exciting, I am excited. Kate and I
did our famous celebratory dance when I got back to the boutique. We just
frantically shake our bottoms while jumping around in circles, it is great!
I just got a text from my sister. She’s
coming to visit this week. That’s okay. I won’t allow my jealousy of her
accomplishments ruin my plans to finally get in touch with the man of my
dreams. I think I’ll also develop a vegetable patch somewhere in the yard. I
read somewhere in a magazine that growing your own organic vegetables is good
for the mind...or your finances, I don’t quite remember the exact words. I’ll
grow some spinach and tomatoes. I don’t like spinach, I hate it in fact, but I
have to eat it. I am going to be a vegetarian. Yes! No meat while I’m in the
gym. I want this to be effective, you know. I’m going on a healthy eating plan,
I prefer not to call it a diet because then I’m going to cheat. A healthy
lifestyle is more like it. I don’t want to be in the food prison called a diet.
I am this big because I love food. If I go on a diet , I’m sure
going to cheat; sneak in some chips or something once in a while. It’s a tough
business losing weight. I already told my parents that I’m changing my eating
habits. My father was horrified when I brought it up. He thinks I’m going to
starve myself. I restrained myself from informing him that trading a packet of
biscuits and sugary goodies for broccoli, is not starving myself, it’s saving
my life. I suggested he join me, but dad...he’s old fashioned. He claims he
gets his exercise when he herds his cattle at the cattle post. I’m sure by now
they have already informed my sister about my lifestyle change. Mum says I’m
being absurd and nonsensical. No, what’s nonsensical is them allowing me to get
this big without consulting me first. Yes, I blame my parents for being fat. I
would be skinny, if I knew what broccoli tastes like...well, I did have a taste
a while ago and I felt like vomiting. The stuff is disgusting, in that it has
no taste. It tastes like a watery leaf with hair on it, no wonder I gagged.
Ah, it’s all I think about now. The gym. It
just further proves how pathetic and uneventful my life has been thus far. I
have nothing to occupy my thoughts, since I cleared
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