Being Magdalene by Fleur Beale Page B

up. ‘very well. I am disappointed in all of you. Zillah, if I hear you shorten your words in such an unseemly manner again you will spend the day in the discipline room. Is that clear?’
    ‘Yes, Father.’
    Mother pushed herself up from the table. ‘Work hard at your lessons, children. Obey the Rule. Keep your feet on the path to salvation.’
    The four of us watched our parents leave the room. Abraham closed the door behind them. ‘She’ll kneel on that hard floor for hours! Unbelievable!’
    Zillah ran to him. ‘Abraham, will you be damned if you go away? Will you be dead to us? I don’t want you to be dead to us. I’ll pray for you. Magdalene will too, won’t you, Magdalene?’
    He bent to hug her. ‘Thanks, sis — but you knowwhat? I reckon the only ones going to hell are the Elders. And old Elder Stephen’s going to have a big fat burning throne to sit on.’
    I stared at him — did he have the same questions about Elder Stephen as I did? If so, they didn’t seem to worry him the way they did me.
    His sinful comment didn’t comfort Zillah. ‘I don’t want you to die, Abraham! I don’t want you to go away and be dead to us. That will be breaking the Rule. It’s dangerous to break the Rule. Isn’t it, Magdalene?’
    He gave an impatient hiss and went to leave the room.
    I couldn’t bear the weight on my heart a moment longer. ‘No! Don’t go. We need to tell her. I’m sick of secrets. I’m sick of being scared every day that she doesn’t know how dangerous the Rule is.’ Breathing was hard but I kept going. ‘Tell her about Miriam and Daniel. Esther, too, and all the truth about Rebecca. Tell her!’
    Zillah had taken a step towards him, but she stopped when she heard the names of our lost brother, sisters and cousin. I wanted to run to Abraham, to shake him and make him see, but I was so tired. ‘She needs to know why they got banished. She needs to know what can happen if you don’t obey the Rule. And she needs to know you don’t die when you get banished.’ I put my head down on the table, crying yet again and too ashamed to tell them how often I woke up believing them all to be dead and burning in hell.
    Their voices swirled above my head. Zillah: What? Tell me! Who are …
    Abraham: Sweet Jesus!
    Luke: She’s right, Abraham .
    More talk, then Abraham was carrying me once more and we were all in the car.
    ‘Are we running away?’ I asked. It was so hard to think.
    Abraham gave a harsh snort of laughter. ‘I wish! I’m taking you to McDonald’s. We’re going to eat hamburgers and fries.’
    That was against a million Rules.
    ‘Will that make us dead?’ Zillah asked, but she sounded curious, not upset.
    Luke answered her. ‘No, but we’ll have to pray a lot if Father finds out.’
    Zillah said, ‘I don’t care. I want to go to McDonald’s and eat a hamburger. What’s a hamburger, Abraham? Who are Miriam and Daniel and Esther? Can I have a hot chocolate too? I know who Rebecca is. Were they her friends? I’m very hungry, Abraham.’
    ‘We’ll eat,’ Luke said, ‘and then we’ll tell you everything.’
    Praise the Lord.

Eight
    ABRAHAM STOPPED THE CAR . ‘Can you walk, sis? It’s not far.’
    Everyone would have stared at us anyway and I didn’t want to make it worse by being carried. ‘I’ll be okay.’
    There were only a few people sitting at the tables and they did stare at us in our Faith clothes. Luke led us to a corner as far away from the other customers as possible, while Abraham went up to the counter.
    ‘Luke! We’re not wearing our headscarves!’ Oh! We really would die and go to hell.
    But my brother grinned at me. ‘Chill, sis. We’ve broken so much of the Rule already, what does one more transgression matter?’
    ‘It might make us be in a really hot part of hell,’ Zillah said, her eyes wide.
    Luke said, ‘I don’t believe the nice Lord would do that, Zillah. Remember? We pray to the nice Lord, not the nasty one Elder Stephen listens