worry and stress. I gather she grieves for lost siblings?’
Instead of answering the question, Father just said, ‘Continue, if you please.’
There was a pause, then I heard the doctor say, ‘It is difficult to assess her without the information you clearly don’t intend to give me. However, you might like to think about the fact that your daughter doesn’t remember digging herself into a hole and building a wall around it.’
Seven
‘ COME, MAGDALENE,’ MY FATHER said. ‘If you are dressed I will take you home.’
The nurse pulled back the curtain and helped me off the bed. My legs felt uncertain but I didn’t say so. I didn’t want to be carried.
Doctor Alex said, ‘Keep those hands dry, Magdalene. Change the bandages every day. You should be fine after about a week.’ He turned to Father. ‘Keep her at home this week. Let her sleep as much as she can. No stress and no worry. And talk to her about how she feels — the worry she has over her siblings past and present.’
Father said, ‘I will pray for her.’
Doctor Alex shut his eyes. ‘Jesus wept.’
Father ignored him, opened the door and ushered me out. My feet felt heavy and disconnected from the rest of me but Father didn’t hurry me. Abraham would have picked me up and carried me to the car. It wasn’t Father’s way to do such a thing.
On the way home, I took hold of my courage. ‘Father, please may we speak of Miriam and Danieland Rebecca?’ I thought it would push too far to say Esther’s name, although I’d have loved to know more about how she came to live with us, and why.
Father didn’t scold me for breaking the Rule in saying the names of those who had been cast out and were dead to us. ‘Magdalene, my daughter, I beg you not to grieve the Lord by breaking the Rule. Remember always that it keeps us safe. It keeps our feet firmly on the path to salvation.’
He was so earnest, so full of concern for my immortal soul. I wished he could love me instead of the Lord. I closed my eyes. Lord, I ask forgiveness .
‘Magdalene? Do you understand the importance of the Rule?’
I bowed my head. ‘Yes, Father. I will pray to the Lord.’
‘Will you ask forgiveness for endangering your immortal soul?’
‘Yes, Father. I will pray and I will ask forgiveness.’ I was so tired. It was easier to give the answers he wanted.
Maybe Neriah’s father would talk to her now they were worldly. For a moment I envied her.
Abraham, Luke and Zillah were watching for us and came running the moment they saw the car. Abraham pulled open my door and scooped me up. ‘Bed for you, sis, and no arguing.’
I wasn’t going to argue and I was glad he was carrying me. So tired.
They tucked me into my bed. Mother didn’t come but Rachel did. She bent to kiss me. ‘Dear Magdalene. You will soon be well. I will pray for you. Sleep now.’
In the morning I found Zillah snuggled in beside me. I lay without trying to wake her up and persuade her to get dressed. Perhaps Father might let her stay home with me. But I must have slept again, because I woke up to hear Mother saying, ‘Up you get, girls. You will miss the bus if you do not hurry.’
I blinked at her. ‘But, Mother — the doctor said I need to stay home this week.’
She flipped the bedclothes back. ‘We do not obey the words of worldly men. Do I need to remind you of the Rule? Illness is a sign of sin. Hurry, now.’
She went away. I stayed where I was. I didn’t have the strength to cajole Zillah into getting ready for school. But she climbed out of bed and gathered up clothes for both of us. ‘I’ll help you, Magdalene. Don’t worry. I’ll look after you.’
I wanted to weep. She was so young — she wouldn’t turn eight until school started again in February. ‘Thank you, darling. Love you heaps.’
She chattered as she buttoned my blouse and fastened my skirt, saying all the encouraging words I said to her every school morning. I saw now that they didn’t touch the sore
Instead of answering the question, Father just said, ‘Continue, if you please.’
There was a pause, then I heard the doctor say, ‘It is difficult to assess her without the information you clearly don’t intend to give me. However, you might like to think about the fact that your daughter doesn’t remember digging herself into a hole and building a wall around it.’
Seven
‘ COME, MAGDALENE,’ MY FATHER said. ‘If you are dressed I will take you home.’
The nurse pulled back the curtain and helped me off the bed. My legs felt uncertain but I didn’t say so. I didn’t want to be carried.
Doctor Alex said, ‘Keep those hands dry, Magdalene. Change the bandages every day. You should be fine after about a week.’ He turned to Father. ‘Keep her at home this week. Let her sleep as much as she can. No stress and no worry. And talk to her about how she feels — the worry she has over her siblings past and present.’
Father said, ‘I will pray for her.’
Doctor Alex shut his eyes. ‘Jesus wept.’
Father ignored him, opened the door and ushered me out. My feet felt heavy and disconnected from the rest of me but Father didn’t hurry me. Abraham would have picked me up and carried me to the car. It wasn’t Father’s way to do such a thing.
On the way home, I took hold of my courage. ‘Father, please may we speak of Miriam and Danieland Rebecca?’ I thought it would push too far to say Esther’s name, although I’d have loved to know more about how she came to live with us, and why.
Father didn’t scold me for breaking the Rule in saying the names of those who had been cast out and were dead to us. ‘Magdalene, my daughter, I beg you not to grieve the Lord by breaking the Rule. Remember always that it keeps us safe. It keeps our feet firmly on the path to salvation.’
He was so earnest, so full of concern for my immortal soul. I wished he could love me instead of the Lord. I closed my eyes. Lord, I ask forgiveness .
‘Magdalene? Do you understand the importance of the Rule?’
I bowed my head. ‘Yes, Father. I will pray to the Lord.’
‘Will you ask forgiveness for endangering your immortal soul?’
‘Yes, Father. I will pray and I will ask forgiveness.’ I was so tired. It was easier to give the answers he wanted.
Maybe Neriah’s father would talk to her now they were worldly. For a moment I envied her.
Abraham, Luke and Zillah were watching for us and came running the moment they saw the car. Abraham pulled open my door and scooped me up. ‘Bed for you, sis, and no arguing.’
I wasn’t going to argue and I was glad he was carrying me. So tired.
They tucked me into my bed. Mother didn’t come but Rachel did. She bent to kiss me. ‘Dear Magdalene. You will soon be well. I will pray for you. Sleep now.’
In the morning I found Zillah snuggled in beside me. I lay without trying to wake her up and persuade her to get dressed. Perhaps Father might let her stay home with me. But I must have slept again, because I woke up to hear Mother saying, ‘Up you get, girls. You will miss the bus if you do not hurry.’
I blinked at her. ‘But, Mother — the doctor said I need to stay home this week.’
She flipped the bedclothes back. ‘We do not obey the words of worldly men. Do I need to remind you of the Rule? Illness is a sign of sin. Hurry, now.’
She went away. I stayed where I was. I didn’t have the strength to cajole Zillah into getting ready for school. But she climbed out of bed and gathered up clothes for both of us. ‘I’ll help you, Magdalene. Don’t worry. I’ll look after you.’
I wanted to weep. She was so young — she wouldn’t turn eight until school started again in February. ‘Thank you, darling. Love you heaps.’
She chattered as she buttoned my blouse and fastened my skirt, saying all the encouraging words I said to her every school morning. I saw now that they didn’t touch the sore
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