at once indulgent and reproachful
.
Has she given you an answer?
D R R EID . Not yet. For heaven’s sake, Flora, I am proposing to lift the burden from your shoulders, to shield this family from calumny and pain, is not that your dearest wish and mine?
F LORA . Ay …
D R R EID
mounts the stairs, turns and waits for her to follow
. V ICTOR
exits
.
Scene 4 Pearl’s Study
P EARL
is seated, leaning forward, head between her knees
. V ICTOR
rushes on
.
V ICTOR . Pearl, I must have a talk with you –! What’s the matter?
P EARL
[sitting up]
. You look like a dog’s breakfast.
V ICTOR . You’re white as a sheet.
P EARL . I am blanched with disappointment, but quite prepared to hear your apology.
V ICTOR . For what?
P EARL . You know perfectly well for what, you and your petty revenge, I had nothing to do with Father’s will, Victor, it came as just as much of a shock to me as it did to you.
V ICTOR . I don’t care about the damn will.
P EARL . Well you ought to.
[Pointedly returning to her work.]
Don’t worry, I’ll have Abbott arrange a suitable annuity for you.
V ICTOR . Fine. Pearl –
P EARL . You’ll not have a penny for liquor though, my boy.
V ICTOR . I’ll drink myself to death if I damn well please.
P EARL . Not on my money, you won’t.
V ICTOR . I don’t want your stinkin’ money.
P EARL . No brother of mine will traipse about like a bohemian; I’ll no’ give you the satisfaction of being poor.
V ICTOR . Do shutup –
P EARL . And I’ll thank you not to go rummaging among my specimens.
V ICTOR . I wouldn’t touch your gruesome specimens with a ten-foot pole.
P EARL . You were in fooling with the ear last night.
V ICTOR . I was not – What “ear”?
P EARL . This ear, here! You’re lucky it didn’t turn to jelly overnight.
V ICTOR . I never touched it.
P EARL . You did.
V ICTOR . I didna.
P EARL . Did so.
V ICTOR . Did –
P EARL . How many opposable digits are there in this household?!
V ICTOR . What?
P EARL . Thumbs! Mankind’s distinguishing tool; thumbs! wrought by aeons of natural selection; thumbs! to raise us up above the beasts.
And you can find no better use for yours than to steal about in the night twistin’ the lids offa jars.
[Cutting him off.]
You did so! And Puppy took the blame. Poor Puppy.
V ICTOR . Where is he?
P EARL . Don’t worry, Victor, Wee Farleigh’s got him on a leash. At the bottom of the pond.
V ICTOR ,
shocked
.
You’re too suggestible, Vickie.
V ICTOR . I hope it does come out in you.
P EARL . What?
V ICTOR . The “flaw”, the family curse.
P EARL . What do you know about it?
V ICTOR . I heard Dr Reid talking to Auntie Flora. She wants to tell you the truth about our family, and he won’t let her. He’s up to something.
P EARL . I know the truth.
V ICTOR . You do? What is it?
P EARL
[dismissive]
. I can’t tell you, you couldn’t take the shock.
V ICTOR . I could too, I’m as much a man as you. Pearl, I’ve a right to know.
P EARL . It’s for your own good, Victor.
Victor. Tell me.
P EARL . No.
V ICTOR . Tell me.
P EARL . Nay.
V ICTOR . I’ll make you –
[grabbing the jar]
.
P EARL . Give it –!
He begins to have difficulty breathing, eyes fixed on the jar
.
[disgusted]
Hypochondria: the last refuge of the scoundrel.
He is gasping
.
V ICTOR ., control yourself or you really will have a –
He is asphixiating
.
Auntie! Wee Farleigh! Someone!
She tries to wrest the jar from his grasp
.
Scene 5 The Drawing Room
F LORA , P EARL ,
and
W EE F ARLEIGH
are gathered round
V ICTOR
who goes limp on the couch
. D R R EID .
withdraws the needle from
V ICTOR’S
arm and returns it to his medical bag
.
D R R EID. These fits are a terrible strain on the heart.
F LORA . Pearl, why did you let your brother look at the ear?
P EARL . I didn’t “let” him do anything, Auntie, he’s a grown man. What are we to do, Doctor, he can’t go on like this, what’s to become of him out in the world,
.
Has she given you an answer?
D R R EID . Not yet. For heaven’s sake, Flora, I am proposing to lift the burden from your shoulders, to shield this family from calumny and pain, is not that your dearest wish and mine?
F LORA . Ay …
D R R EID
mounts the stairs, turns and waits for her to follow
. V ICTOR
exits
.
Scene 4 Pearl’s Study
P EARL
is seated, leaning forward, head between her knees
. V ICTOR
rushes on
.
V ICTOR . Pearl, I must have a talk with you –! What’s the matter?
P EARL
[sitting up]
. You look like a dog’s breakfast.
V ICTOR . You’re white as a sheet.
P EARL . I am blanched with disappointment, but quite prepared to hear your apology.
V ICTOR . For what?
P EARL . You know perfectly well for what, you and your petty revenge, I had nothing to do with Father’s will, Victor, it came as just as much of a shock to me as it did to you.
V ICTOR . I don’t care about the damn will.
P EARL . Well you ought to.
[Pointedly returning to her work.]
Don’t worry, I’ll have Abbott arrange a suitable annuity for you.
V ICTOR . Fine. Pearl –
P EARL . You’ll not have a penny for liquor though, my boy.
V ICTOR . I’ll drink myself to death if I damn well please.
P EARL . Not on my money, you won’t.
V ICTOR . I don’t want your stinkin’ money.
P EARL . No brother of mine will traipse about like a bohemian; I’ll no’ give you the satisfaction of being poor.
V ICTOR . Do shutup –
P EARL . And I’ll thank you not to go rummaging among my specimens.
V ICTOR . I wouldn’t touch your gruesome specimens with a ten-foot pole.
P EARL . You were in fooling with the ear last night.
V ICTOR . I was not – What “ear”?
P EARL . This ear, here! You’re lucky it didn’t turn to jelly overnight.
V ICTOR . I never touched it.
P EARL . You did.
V ICTOR . I didna.
P EARL . Did so.
V ICTOR . Did –
P EARL . How many opposable digits are there in this household?!
V ICTOR . What?
P EARL . Thumbs! Mankind’s distinguishing tool; thumbs! wrought by aeons of natural selection; thumbs! to raise us up above the beasts.
And you can find no better use for yours than to steal about in the night twistin’ the lids offa jars.
[Cutting him off.]
You did so! And Puppy took the blame. Poor Puppy.
V ICTOR . Where is he?
P EARL . Don’t worry, Victor, Wee Farleigh’s got him on a leash. At the bottom of the pond.
V ICTOR ,
shocked
.
You’re too suggestible, Vickie.
V ICTOR . I hope it does come out in you.
P EARL . What?
V ICTOR . The “flaw”, the family curse.
P EARL . What do you know about it?
V ICTOR . I heard Dr Reid talking to Auntie Flora. She wants to tell you the truth about our family, and he won’t let her. He’s up to something.
P EARL . I know the truth.
V ICTOR . You do? What is it?
P EARL
[dismissive]
. I can’t tell you, you couldn’t take the shock.
V ICTOR . I could too, I’m as much a man as you. Pearl, I’ve a right to know.
P EARL . It’s for your own good, Victor.
Victor. Tell me.
P EARL . No.
V ICTOR . Tell me.
P EARL . Nay.
V ICTOR . I’ll make you –
[grabbing the jar]
.
P EARL . Give it –!
He begins to have difficulty breathing, eyes fixed on the jar
.
[disgusted]
Hypochondria: the last refuge of the scoundrel.
He is gasping
.
V ICTOR ., control yourself or you really will have a –
He is asphixiating
.
Auntie! Wee Farleigh! Someone!
She tries to wrest the jar from his grasp
.
Scene 5 The Drawing Room
F LORA , P EARL ,
and
W EE F ARLEIGH
are gathered round
V ICTOR
who goes limp on the couch
. D R R EID .
withdraws the needle from
V ICTOR’S
arm and returns it to his medical bag
.
D R R EID. These fits are a terrible strain on the heart.
F LORA . Pearl, why did you let your brother look at the ear?
P EARL . I didn’t “let” him do anything, Auntie, he’s a grown man. What are we to do, Doctor, he can’t go on like this, what’s to become of him out in the world,
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