calloused hands, brushed the thickness of my hair behind my shoulders, and cupped my face. “When are you gonna let me in, Gems?” His breath brushed over me. It smelled like chocolate, and everything inside me from the ribcage down trembled with the proof that his lips actually had been on that mug.
“I can’t.” I was ashamed that my voice actually cracked.
“Yes, yes, you can,” he whispered, lowering his lips toward mine and tilting my chin up until the space between us was practically gone and our breath mingled together in a chocolate explosion.
He was going to kiss me. I wanted him to, desperately, madly, deeply. I closed my eyes and waited for the first taste of his lips, but he stopped mere centimeters from mine. I held back the plea that just about escaped my throat.
“I won’t hurt you. I promise.”
His words cut through me like the winter wind and jerked me back into reality. I stepped back quickly, stumbling. He reached out to steady me, but I twisted, avoiding his touch. He thought I was so resistant to him because I was afraid of getting hurt. He thought my past with Callum had left me broken and hard. Maybe it had… but whatever parts of me that had been damaged were mended the first time he laid his lips on mine.
This wasn’t about me. It was about him.
About what my love would cost him.
“I’m sorry,” I said when I looked up and caught the flash of hurt on his face. “I can’t do this to you.”
“Do what to me?”
“Let you sacrifice yourself.”
“How is my loving you a sacrifice?”
“Don’t say that!” I gasped.
The words dangled between us like a spider on a thread of web. I wanted to pluck them out of the air and stomp them out, but I couldn’t. The mere idea made me want to weep. Words like that… feelings like that should be tucked somewhere safe inside the person the words were meant for… but I couldn’t let those feelings in. I had to wear a coat of armor around me to keep them out because that was the only way he would truly be safe.
“Say what?” he challenged. “That I—”
I held up my hand. “Please don’t say it. You have no idea what it will cost you.”
“Then tell me. Make me understand.” He stepped forward and I moved around him, toward the window.
He reached out and grabbed my wrist, whirling me around to face him. “How dare you,” he growled. “How dare you walk into my life, make me feel things I never felt before—things I know you feel too—and then just walk away.”
“Cole, I—”
His grip on my wrist tightened and he jerked me a little closer, cutting off my excuses. “But you can’t completely walk away, can you? So instead, you keep coming back, torturing us both.”
I snatched my wrist away. “I’m not trying to torture you,” I snapped.
“Tell me.” He demanded.
“Tell you what?” I challenged.
“Tell me what the price is to love you. I’ll pay it.”
I sucked in a breath and just stood there staring at the blue fire raging in his eyes. In that moment I was utterly frozen. His defiance was so brilliant I had no response. How was it that I, a fallen angel, destined to walk the earth alone, came into such a gift?
“I can’t ask you to pay that price, Cole. It’s too high,” I said when I finally was able to speak.
“There is no price too high to pay for you.” He reached out and caught a strand of hair that had fallen over my shoulder. He wound the curl around his finger and tugged, effectively pulling me into his space. He released the curl and let his hand trail down my arm and over the back of my hand, seeking my fingers that were already twitching with the need to be enclosed in his.
“Please don’t touch me,” I said, my voice husky.
“Why? Because when I touch you, you can’t think? Because you forget the reasons you claim we can’t be
“I can’t.” I was ashamed that my voice actually cracked.
“Yes, yes, you can,” he whispered, lowering his lips toward mine and tilting my chin up until the space between us was practically gone and our breath mingled together in a chocolate explosion.
He was going to kiss me. I wanted him to, desperately, madly, deeply. I closed my eyes and waited for the first taste of his lips, but he stopped mere centimeters from mine. I held back the plea that just about escaped my throat.
“I won’t hurt you. I promise.”
His words cut through me like the winter wind and jerked me back into reality. I stepped back quickly, stumbling. He reached out to steady me, but I twisted, avoiding his touch. He thought I was so resistant to him because I was afraid of getting hurt. He thought my past with Callum had left me broken and hard. Maybe it had… but whatever parts of me that had been damaged were mended the first time he laid his lips on mine.
This wasn’t about me. It was about him.
About what my love would cost him.
“I’m sorry,” I said when I looked up and caught the flash of hurt on his face. “I can’t do this to you.”
“Do what to me?”
“Let you sacrifice yourself.”
“How is my loving you a sacrifice?”
“Don’t say that!” I gasped.
The words dangled between us like a spider on a thread of web. I wanted to pluck them out of the air and stomp them out, but I couldn’t. The mere idea made me want to weep. Words like that… feelings like that should be tucked somewhere safe inside the person the words were meant for… but I couldn’t let those feelings in. I had to wear a coat of armor around me to keep them out because that was the only way he would truly be safe.
“Say what?” he challenged. “That I—”
I held up my hand. “Please don’t say it. You have no idea what it will cost you.”
“Then tell me. Make me understand.” He stepped forward and I moved around him, toward the window.
He reached out and grabbed my wrist, whirling me around to face him. “How dare you,” he growled. “How dare you walk into my life, make me feel things I never felt before—things I know you feel too—and then just walk away.”
“Cole, I—”
His grip on my wrist tightened and he jerked me a little closer, cutting off my excuses. “But you can’t completely walk away, can you? So instead, you keep coming back, torturing us both.”
I snatched my wrist away. “I’m not trying to torture you,” I snapped.
“Tell me.” He demanded.
“Tell you what?” I challenged.
“Tell me what the price is to love you. I’ll pay it.”
I sucked in a breath and just stood there staring at the blue fire raging in his eyes. In that moment I was utterly frozen. His defiance was so brilliant I had no response. How was it that I, a fallen angel, destined to walk the earth alone, came into such a gift?
“I can’t ask you to pay that price, Cole. It’s too high,” I said when I finally was able to speak.
“There is no price too high to pay for you.” He reached out and caught a strand of hair that had fallen over my shoulder. He wound the curl around his finger and tugged, effectively pulling me into his space. He released the curl and let his hand trail down my arm and over the back of my hand, seeking my fingers that were already twitching with the need to be enclosed in his.
“Please don’t touch me,” I said, my voice husky.
“Why? Because when I touch you, you can’t think? Because you forget the reasons you claim we can’t be
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