Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives by Gretchen Rubin Page A
Authors: Gretchen Rubin
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Anthony Trollope); of working in silence (like Gustav Mahler) or of working amid a bustle of activity (like Jane Austen); of drinking a lot of alcohol (like Friedrich Schiller) or drinking a lot of coffee (like Kirkegaard); of producing work for many hours a day (like H. L. Mencken) or for just thirty minutes a day (like Gertrude Stein).
Thereâs no magic formulaânot for ourselves, and not for the people around us. We wonât make ourselves more creative and productive by copying other peopleâs habits, even the habits of geniuses; we must know our own nature, and what habits serve us best.
PILLARS OF HABITS
M any strategies help us change our habits, and four strategies tower above the others: Monitoring, Foundation, Scheduling, and Accountability. Theyâre so ubiquitous and familiar that itâs easy to take them for grantedâbut theyâre invaluable. To make the most of the indispensable Pillars of Habits, we must take into account what weâve learned about ourselves from the exercises in self-knowledge. For instance, the Strategy of Scheduling works for most peopleâbut not for Rebels. The Strategy of Accountability works for most peopleâand itâs essential for Obligers. The Strategies build on each other.
We Manage What
We Monitor
Monitoring
All our life, so far as it has definite form, is but a mass of habitsâpractical, emotional, and intellectual,âsystematically organized for our weal or woe, and bearing us irresistibly toward our destiny.
âWilliam James, Talks to Teachers and Students
T he Strategy of Monitoring has an uncanny power. It doesnât require change, but it often leads to change. To paraphrase a business school truism, âWe manage what we monitor,â and keeping close track of our actions means we do better in categories such as eating, drinking, exercising, working, TV and Internet use, spendingâand just about anything else. Self-measurement brings self-awareness, and self-awareness strengthens our self-control. Something as simple as a roadside speed display to show motorists how fast theyâre going helps them to slow down.
A key step for the Strategy of Monitoring is to identify precisely what action is monitored. Specific habits such as âRead the news every morningâ or âCall one client each dayâ are easy to monitor, while vague resolutions such as âBe more informedâ or âCultivate better client relationshipsâ are hard to monitor. I was reminded of Lord Kelvinâs observation, overbroad but nevertheless thought-provoking: âWhen you cannot express it in number, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind.â If we want something to count in our lives, we should figure out a way to count it.
Actual measurement is crucial, because when we guess what weâre doing, weâre often wildly inaccurate. Unsurprisingly, we tend to underestimate how much we eat and overestimate how much we exercise. In one study, people estimated that in the course of daily activities (excluding exercise regimens) they walked about four miles; in fact, most walked less than two miles.
Accurate monitoring helps determine whether a habit is worth the time, money, or energy it consumes. A friend tracked his TV watching because he wanted to know if TV was eating up too much of his day (it was). I read about a woman who quit drinking because she figured that in six years she and her husband had spent almost $30,000 on alcoholâmoney they wouldâve preferred to spend on something else. Aaron Beck, founder of cognitive behavioral therapy, maintains that people find it easy to notice what their partners do wrong, but not what they do right, so he suggests keeping âmarriage diariesâ to track partnersâ considerate behavior; one study showed that 70 percent of couples who did this tracking reported an improved relationship.
People who love to self-monitor can join
Thereâs no magic formulaânot for ourselves, and not for the people around us. We wonât make ourselves more creative and productive by copying other peopleâs habits, even the habits of geniuses; we must know our own nature, and what habits serve us best.
PILLARS OF HABITS
M any strategies help us change our habits, and four strategies tower above the others: Monitoring, Foundation, Scheduling, and Accountability. Theyâre so ubiquitous and familiar that itâs easy to take them for grantedâbut theyâre invaluable. To make the most of the indispensable Pillars of Habits, we must take into account what weâve learned about ourselves from the exercises in self-knowledge. For instance, the Strategy of Scheduling works for most peopleâbut not for Rebels. The Strategy of Accountability works for most peopleâand itâs essential for Obligers. The Strategies build on each other.
We Manage What
We Monitor
Monitoring
All our life, so far as it has definite form, is but a mass of habitsâpractical, emotional, and intellectual,âsystematically organized for our weal or woe, and bearing us irresistibly toward our destiny.
âWilliam James, Talks to Teachers and Students
T he Strategy of Monitoring has an uncanny power. It doesnât require change, but it often leads to change. To paraphrase a business school truism, âWe manage what we monitor,â and keeping close track of our actions means we do better in categories such as eating, drinking, exercising, working, TV and Internet use, spendingâand just about anything else. Self-measurement brings self-awareness, and self-awareness strengthens our self-control. Something as simple as a roadside speed display to show motorists how fast theyâre going helps them to slow down.
A key step for the Strategy of Monitoring is to identify precisely what action is monitored. Specific habits such as âRead the news every morningâ or âCall one client each dayâ are easy to monitor, while vague resolutions such as âBe more informedâ or âCultivate better client relationshipsâ are hard to monitor. I was reminded of Lord Kelvinâs observation, overbroad but nevertheless thought-provoking: âWhen you cannot express it in number, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind.â If we want something to count in our lives, we should figure out a way to count it.
Actual measurement is crucial, because when we guess what weâre doing, weâre often wildly inaccurate. Unsurprisingly, we tend to underestimate how much we eat and overestimate how much we exercise. In one study, people estimated that in the course of daily activities (excluding exercise regimens) they walked about four miles; in fact, most walked less than two miles.
Accurate monitoring helps determine whether a habit is worth the time, money, or energy it consumes. A friend tracked his TV watching because he wanted to know if TV was eating up too much of his day (it was). I read about a woman who quit drinking because she figured that in six years she and her husband had spent almost $30,000 on alcoholâmoney they wouldâve preferred to spend on something else. Aaron Beck, founder of cognitive behavioral therapy, maintains that people find it easy to notice what their partners do wrong, but not what they do right, so he suggests keeping âmarriage diariesâ to track partnersâ considerate behavior; one study showed that 70 percent of couples who did this tracking reported an improved relationship.
People who love to self-monitor can join
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