water around the raft begins to steam. I look up and see myself mirrored in the bottom of the thing, all the world reflected from horizon to horizon. I know we in Japan have no aircraft like that, and I think perhaps this is what really sank theAkagi, Kaga, Soryu . And I am not afraid any more.
“I know I am going to die.”
|Go to Contents |
Beyond Heavens River
Eight
Kawashita held his breath for a moment, then smiled and drank half a glass of beer. “I feel odd then, like electricity is going through me.” He looked around the cabin. “Pardon. I have been talking about your people, about the war, and I do not know what you think. It is very hard — what we did —”
“We aren’t Americans, Yoshio,” Anna said softly. “It was a long time ago, things have changed.”
“Desu-ka? Yes, of course. I continue. I find I am not in my raft. For a long time I am examined by things — metal tools, buzzing machines. I lie on a metal bench with a soft part in the middle. I am naked. Twenty meters away, perhaps, in the dark, there is a circle, and in the circle a face. No mouth, no nose, just wide black eyes. I also see one arm — could be an arm — with a hand. Nothing holds me down, so I stand, walk into dark, stop by the lighted circle. There is nothing behind it — it floats in air — but face and arm are full, like in three dimensions. Nothing moves. I turn away and see the bench is gone. Another circle is in its place, with what looks like bird — but not a bird. A man with a sharp, beaked face and thin fur or feathers all over him, with large, naked ears. I see four circles, back and forth across the dark place, before I feel floor going away. I think I sleep.”
“Sounds like you were shown a Minkie and a Crocerian,” Elvox said. “What did the others look like?”
“Not sure. Uglier — one like fish that sucks on other fish — what do you call it?”
“Lampreys,” Carina said.
“But with snake body and limbs … reversed.” He demonstrated by trying to bend his arms backward at the elbow.
“That could be an Aighor,” Elvox said. “It’s obvious they didn’t show you what they looked like themselves.”
“I do not know. I believe I never saw them, never saw anything trulyfrom them. But may have seen and not recognized. When I awake, I am in a house like my grandparents’ house near Yokosuka. There is a forest around it. I can walk as far as I want, in any direction, but I know it is not for real. The house was burned in nineteen thirty-five. And the forest cleared for lumber. For a long time, I think I am dreaming. Then people appear, mostly women, but now — how to say — personable? Most cooperative, like in a pillow-book, but not real. I think perhaps my baser instincts will be provided for by captors.”
“The women change, however, and soon will not do everything I want. Before long, a whole village grows up around me, a building added each night when I sleep. I am not dreaming. I am making things appear. I decide captors, whoever they are, have the power to let me create whatever is in my mind. They must bekami — divine spirits. Very divine spirits. So I worship them. I build a small shrine and put one part aside for my ancestralkami , one part for these new inhumankami , new powers.
“Each day I walk farther. Finally I leave the forest and come to a city, very much like Yokohama. Thousands of people live in it. I am proud to be able to think of so much, but I don’t take advantage of it. I try to find recruiters so I can go back to my ship, to the war. Perhaps I am really home, I think — hope against hope. But there are no ships, no war. Just city. I cannot redeem myself for cowardice. I cannot sacrifice myself for my emperor. I am truly captured, not just insane. I decide to create other things, and find my limitations.
“In morning, I squat in my shrine — I have built another in the city — and concentrate on as much of Japan as I can. Then I take a train
“I know I am going to die.”
|Go to Contents |
Beyond Heavens River
Eight
Kawashita held his breath for a moment, then smiled and drank half a glass of beer. “I feel odd then, like electricity is going through me.” He looked around the cabin. “Pardon. I have been talking about your people, about the war, and I do not know what you think. It is very hard — what we did —”
“We aren’t Americans, Yoshio,” Anna said softly. “It was a long time ago, things have changed.”
“Desu-ka? Yes, of course. I continue. I find I am not in my raft. For a long time I am examined by things — metal tools, buzzing machines. I lie on a metal bench with a soft part in the middle. I am naked. Twenty meters away, perhaps, in the dark, there is a circle, and in the circle a face. No mouth, no nose, just wide black eyes. I also see one arm — could be an arm — with a hand. Nothing holds me down, so I stand, walk into dark, stop by the lighted circle. There is nothing behind it — it floats in air — but face and arm are full, like in three dimensions. Nothing moves. I turn away and see the bench is gone. Another circle is in its place, with what looks like bird — but not a bird. A man with a sharp, beaked face and thin fur or feathers all over him, with large, naked ears. I see four circles, back and forth across the dark place, before I feel floor going away. I think I sleep.”
“Sounds like you were shown a Minkie and a Crocerian,” Elvox said. “What did the others look like?”
“Not sure. Uglier — one like fish that sucks on other fish — what do you call it?”
“Lampreys,” Carina said.
“But with snake body and limbs … reversed.” He demonstrated by trying to bend his arms backward at the elbow.
“That could be an Aighor,” Elvox said. “It’s obvious they didn’t show you what they looked like themselves.”
“I do not know. I believe I never saw them, never saw anything trulyfrom them. But may have seen and not recognized. When I awake, I am in a house like my grandparents’ house near Yokosuka. There is a forest around it. I can walk as far as I want, in any direction, but I know it is not for real. The house was burned in nineteen thirty-five. And the forest cleared for lumber. For a long time, I think I am dreaming. Then people appear, mostly women, but now — how to say — personable? Most cooperative, like in a pillow-book, but not real. I think perhaps my baser instincts will be provided for by captors.”
“The women change, however, and soon will not do everything I want. Before long, a whole village grows up around me, a building added each night when I sleep. I am not dreaming. I am making things appear. I decide captors, whoever they are, have the power to let me create whatever is in my mind. They must bekami — divine spirits. Very divine spirits. So I worship them. I build a small shrine and put one part aside for my ancestralkami , one part for these new inhumankami , new powers.
“Each day I walk farther. Finally I leave the forest and come to a city, very much like Yokohama. Thousands of people live in it. I am proud to be able to think of so much, but I don’t take advantage of it. I try to find recruiters so I can go back to my ship, to the war. Perhaps I am really home, I think — hope against hope. But there are no ships, no war. Just city. I cannot redeem myself for cowardice. I cannot sacrifice myself for my emperor. I am truly captured, not just insane. I decide to create other things, and find my limitations.
“In morning, I squat in my shrine — I have built another in the city — and concentrate on as much of Japan as I can. Then I take a train
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