alone on some sandy planet light years from Peter and everyone else she loved and cared about.
And yet, here she was trying to flit silently around a wet mud ball, hoping to throw herself into some weird time eddy inside a weird pyramid, and save her weird future self. Doing so would probably erase her most recent history, the future-Benny would then move forward with her life, as would Jack, Ruth and Peter, and all this would end up as some sort of daydream, a brief déjà-vu feeling.
That’s time travel for you. It doesn’t just mess up your body; it messes up your head.
Benny smiled to herself. ‘You know what, Bernice Surprise Summerfield,’ she mused to no one. ‘Let’s be honest, quibbles and fears aside, you wouldn’t change one blasted thing about your life, would you. I mean, you loved the Doctor, you loved the TARDIS. He introduced you to Jason, to Adrian, to Guy, to Bev, to Irving, and without all of that there’d be no Peter, no Joseph, noDellah, no Collection, no Legion – hell, no Wolsey! In fact, no memories, no life. Imagine if you’d ended up leaving Heaven with everyone else, going back to uni; by now you’d be an old unsatisfied retired professor living in a caravan on Outer Space Mobile Home World.’
Still, all that aside, right now she’d be happier if her left hip wasn’t aching, if she didn’t have slight arthritis in her right knee, if the greying hairs would stay dark.
With a sigh, partially caused by pushing all those thoughts out of her mind and partially because that ruddy knee meant she wasn’t as smooth getting up as she’d have liked, Bernice moved out from behind the boulder.
And found her nose being microscopically indented by the pointy end of a rapier being held by Kik the Assassin, who smiled at her.
‘Nice try, saw you the moment you moved,’ said Kik the Assassin. ‘What do you want?’
Bernice carefully reached into her satchel and brought out the rock she’d been given earlier. ‘Open sesame?’ she said apologetically.
—
Peter Summerfield watched the blue woman lead his mother away at sword-point and drew Ruth and Jack’s attention to the fact.
‘We need to follow, discreetly.’ He closed his eyes for a moment. ‘Know what that entails, Jack?’
Jack gave him a lopsided grin. ‘Oh, ye of little faith. Of course. I have survived a lot of these adventures and capers, you know.’
‘Barely,’ Peter growled.
Ruth tapped Peter. ‘That’s my husband-to-be you are dissing, young man,’ she said. ‘And Jack has saved your skin more times than you seem to recall right now, so less of the sarcasm.’
Peter thought about this. Nope, he really couldn’t remember one moment of skin-saving by Jack, but let it go. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Quietly.’
They started retracing Bernice’s path around the boulders, ensuring that the blue woman’s back was always to them.
—
‘I found this skulking in the boulders,’ Kik the Assassin said.
‘She said earlier that she’s a professor,’ Jaanson said. ‘But I’ve never heard of her.’
‘I’ve never heard of you before today, either,’ Bernice said. ‘So that’s really not very important. Much like you.’
‘You said you knew my reputation,’ Jaanson said, both affronted and clearly missing the point.
Bernice smiled at him. ‘Oh dear, poor you and your ego. Look, there’s the Pyramid Eternia, this is Aztec Moon and you’re a pompous idiot in a tweed coat and silly hat. I’ve been around, Horace. I know your type.’
Jaanson drew himself up to his full height of just under five foot seven, his jowls puffing as he tried to think of some witty riposte. Instead, he just turned on his heel. ‘Why not just kill her?’
‘Wow, thanks, Professor,’ Bernice said. ‘Nice to see theprofessors of the future have turned feral.’
‘Shut up,’ was Cyrrus Globb’s contribution.
‘Wait,’ Jaanson said. And Bernice’s eyes gleamed a little. ‘Did you say “of the future”?’
‘I
And yet, here she was trying to flit silently around a wet mud ball, hoping to throw herself into some weird time eddy inside a weird pyramid, and save her weird future self. Doing so would probably erase her most recent history, the future-Benny would then move forward with her life, as would Jack, Ruth and Peter, and all this would end up as some sort of daydream, a brief déjà-vu feeling.
That’s time travel for you. It doesn’t just mess up your body; it messes up your head.
Benny smiled to herself. ‘You know what, Bernice Surprise Summerfield,’ she mused to no one. ‘Let’s be honest, quibbles and fears aside, you wouldn’t change one blasted thing about your life, would you. I mean, you loved the Doctor, you loved the TARDIS. He introduced you to Jason, to Adrian, to Guy, to Bev, to Irving, and without all of that there’d be no Peter, no Joseph, noDellah, no Collection, no Legion – hell, no Wolsey! In fact, no memories, no life. Imagine if you’d ended up leaving Heaven with everyone else, going back to uni; by now you’d be an old unsatisfied retired professor living in a caravan on Outer Space Mobile Home World.’
Still, all that aside, right now she’d be happier if her left hip wasn’t aching, if she didn’t have slight arthritis in her right knee, if the greying hairs would stay dark.
With a sigh, partially caused by pushing all those thoughts out of her mind and partially because that ruddy knee meant she wasn’t as smooth getting up as she’d have liked, Bernice moved out from behind the boulder.
And found her nose being microscopically indented by the pointy end of a rapier being held by Kik the Assassin, who smiled at her.
‘Nice try, saw you the moment you moved,’ said Kik the Assassin. ‘What do you want?’
Bernice carefully reached into her satchel and brought out the rock she’d been given earlier. ‘Open sesame?’ she said apologetically.
—
Peter Summerfield watched the blue woman lead his mother away at sword-point and drew Ruth and Jack’s attention to the fact.
‘We need to follow, discreetly.’ He closed his eyes for a moment. ‘Know what that entails, Jack?’
Jack gave him a lopsided grin. ‘Oh, ye of little faith. Of course. I have survived a lot of these adventures and capers, you know.’
‘Barely,’ Peter growled.
Ruth tapped Peter. ‘That’s my husband-to-be you are dissing, young man,’ she said. ‘And Jack has saved your skin more times than you seem to recall right now, so less of the sarcasm.’
Peter thought about this. Nope, he really couldn’t remember one moment of skin-saving by Jack, but let it go. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Quietly.’
They started retracing Bernice’s path around the boulders, ensuring that the blue woman’s back was always to them.
—
‘I found this skulking in the boulders,’ Kik the Assassin said.
‘She said earlier that she’s a professor,’ Jaanson said. ‘But I’ve never heard of her.’
‘I’ve never heard of you before today, either,’ Bernice said. ‘So that’s really not very important. Much like you.’
‘You said you knew my reputation,’ Jaanson said, both affronted and clearly missing the point.
Bernice smiled at him. ‘Oh dear, poor you and your ego. Look, there’s the Pyramid Eternia, this is Aztec Moon and you’re a pompous idiot in a tweed coat and silly hat. I’ve been around, Horace. I know your type.’
Jaanson drew himself up to his full height of just under five foot seven, his jowls puffing as he tried to think of some witty riposte. Instead, he just turned on his heel. ‘Why not just kill her?’
‘Wow, thanks, Professor,’ Bernice said. ‘Nice to see theprofessors of the future have turned feral.’
‘Shut up,’ was Cyrrus Globb’s contribution.
‘Wait,’ Jaanson said. And Bernice’s eyes gleamed a little. ‘Did you say “of the future”?’
‘I
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