her drink on the end table and was now bending over nearly touching her toes in front of me.
“Have you seen Lauren?” I asked. “It’s important.”
“Have you ever seen Lauren do this?” she asked, and began to touch herself.
“She’s in trouble. If you know where she is, you need to tell me.”
“Maybe your arm wasn’t the only thing got blown off, soldier. That why Lauren left you?”
I pulled out one of my new cards and dropped it on the coffee table. “I’ve got a new number. Use it if you hear from Lauren. She’s in danger. She needs help.”
She picked up the card pushed it up inside herself.
“Lauren’s not the only woman who needs a private dick now and again.”
I shook my head, as much at myself as her, wondering how I could have been such a sap. “The drunker the floozy,” I said, “the blunter the patter.”
Driving back into town, I thought about Lauren and wondered where she was and what she was up to. I should’ve forced her to show me what she bought from the kid, made her tell me what she was mixed up in and with who, and insisted I take her home, but as usual I had gone soft. I had been confused by her lies, intoxicated by her Paris perfume, and once again I was playing the sap for her.
We had it good for a while. Real good. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t let go, why I couldn’t stop acting her fool.
As I drove through Lynn Haven, I remembered riding back from Margie’s with Lauren after one of our mornings together. As usual, it had been so good that it scared me, and I was trying to pick a fight with her.
“Why won’t you leave him?” I asked.
“I can’t.”
“You won’t. There’s a difference.”
“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone—ever will love anyone,” she said, “but I can’t leave Harry.”
“Then you love him more.”
“It’s not love,” she said. “It’s something else.”
“Whatever it is, it’s stronger than what you have for me.”
“It’s not. You know it’s not.”
“You’re choosing him over me.”
Even in the midst of acting like I was, saying the things I was, I’d tell myself to stop, attempt to gather some self-respect and regain some self-control, but I couldn’t, and I hated her for what I’d become.
“Please don’t see it like that,” she said. “It’s not like that at all. I just owe him so much. I couldn’t do that to him.”
I knew what she owed him. Her life.
Shortly before his death, Coolidge Brown, Lauren’s father, Harry’s best friend and the vice president of Harry’s bank, had used his position of trust to provide reckless and unsecured loans for friends and embezzled a small fortune for himself. When Harry discovered what he was doing, he confronted him, demanding his resignation and threatening to squawk.
Secretly consumed with envy, Coolidge invited Harry over to his home ostensibly to apologize and discuss restitution, but really to take Harry down with him and his family. At gunpoint, Coolidge set his house on fire, dousing his wife, his kids, and his boss with kerosine. Not only had Harry acted bravely and saved Lauren’s life, but he also covered her dad’s crimes with his own money, burying the scandal with him. He provided for Lauren through high school and even some college, eventually asking her to take the place of his deceased wife.
“You’re not even like a wife to him,” I said. “He wouldn’t mind so much.”
“The only thing he’s ever wanted in his whole life is to be in public office. If I left him what chance would he have? I can’t do that to him. Can’t deny him the one thing in all the world he wants.”
“No?” I said. “Well, you sure don’t have any problem doing it to me.”
Nearing Panama City now, I thought about how I had actually believed her. I thought she really did love me the way she said, thought she just honestly couldn’t bring herself to leave Harry. I thought all this right up until the moment she told me it was
“Have you seen Lauren?” I asked. “It’s important.”
“Have you ever seen Lauren do this?” she asked, and began to touch herself.
“She’s in trouble. If you know where she is, you need to tell me.”
“Maybe your arm wasn’t the only thing got blown off, soldier. That why Lauren left you?”
I pulled out one of my new cards and dropped it on the coffee table. “I’ve got a new number. Use it if you hear from Lauren. She’s in danger. She needs help.”
She picked up the card pushed it up inside herself.
“Lauren’s not the only woman who needs a private dick now and again.”
I shook my head, as much at myself as her, wondering how I could have been such a sap. “The drunker the floozy,” I said, “the blunter the patter.”
Driving back into town, I thought about Lauren and wondered where she was and what she was up to. I should’ve forced her to show me what she bought from the kid, made her tell me what she was mixed up in and with who, and insisted I take her home, but as usual I had gone soft. I had been confused by her lies, intoxicated by her Paris perfume, and once again I was playing the sap for her.
We had it good for a while. Real good. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t let go, why I couldn’t stop acting her fool.
As I drove through Lynn Haven, I remembered riding back from Margie’s with Lauren after one of our mornings together. As usual, it had been so good that it scared me, and I was trying to pick a fight with her.
“Why won’t you leave him?” I asked.
“I can’t.”
“You won’t. There’s a difference.”
“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone—ever will love anyone,” she said, “but I can’t leave Harry.”
“Then you love him more.”
“It’s not love,” she said. “It’s something else.”
“Whatever it is, it’s stronger than what you have for me.”
“It’s not. You know it’s not.”
“You’re choosing him over me.”
Even in the midst of acting like I was, saying the things I was, I’d tell myself to stop, attempt to gather some self-respect and regain some self-control, but I couldn’t, and I hated her for what I’d become.
“Please don’t see it like that,” she said. “It’s not like that at all. I just owe him so much. I couldn’t do that to him.”
I knew what she owed him. Her life.
Shortly before his death, Coolidge Brown, Lauren’s father, Harry’s best friend and the vice president of Harry’s bank, had used his position of trust to provide reckless and unsecured loans for friends and embezzled a small fortune for himself. When Harry discovered what he was doing, he confronted him, demanding his resignation and threatening to squawk.
Secretly consumed with envy, Coolidge invited Harry over to his home ostensibly to apologize and discuss restitution, but really to take Harry down with him and his family. At gunpoint, Coolidge set his house on fire, dousing his wife, his kids, and his boss with kerosine. Not only had Harry acted bravely and saved Lauren’s life, but he also covered her dad’s crimes with his own money, burying the scandal with him. He provided for Lauren through high school and even some college, eventually asking her to take the place of his deceased wife.
“You’re not even like a wife to him,” I said. “He wouldn’t mind so much.”
“The only thing he’s ever wanted in his whole life is to be in public office. If I left him what chance would he have? I can’t do that to him. Can’t deny him the one thing in all the world he wants.”
“No?” I said. “Well, you sure don’t have any problem doing it to me.”
Nearing Panama City now, I thought about how I had actually believed her. I thought she really did love me the way she said, thought she just honestly couldn’t bring herself to leave Harry. I thought all this right up until the moment she told me it was
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