little git?” said Sapphire. Definitely not controlling her temper.
Joe hesitated for a moment. “It’s plain to see you’re only with my dad for the money.”
“Don’t talk to your mother like that!” shouted Mr Spud.
Joe’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “She’s not my mother , she’s your stupid girlfriend and she’s only seven years older than me!”
“How dare you!” fumed Mr Spud. “Say sorry.”
Joe defiantly remained silent.
“I said, ‘say sorry’!” shouted Mr Spud.
“No!” shouted Joe.
“Go to your rooms!”
Joe pushed back his chair, making as much of a clatter as possible, and stomped upstairs, as the staff pretended not to see.
He sat on the edge of his bed and cradled himself in his arms. It was a long, long time since anyone had hugged him, so he hugged himself. He squeezed his own sobbing plumpness. He was beginning to wish that Dad had never invented ‘Bumfresh’ and they were all still living in the council flat with Mum. After a few moments, there was a knock on the door. Joe sat in defiant silence.
“It’s your dad.”
“Go away!” shouted Joe.
Mr Spud opened the door and sat down next to his son on the bed. He nearly slid off the bedspread onto the floor. Silk sheets may look nice, but they aren’t very practical.
Mr Spud bumjumped a little nearer to his son.
“I don’t like to see my little Spud like this. I know you don’t like Sapphire, but she makes me happy. Can you understand that?”
“Not really,” said Joe.
“And I know you had a tough day at school too. With that teacher, The Witch, and with that ungrateful boy, Bob. I’m sorry. I know how much you wanted a friend, and I know I didn’t make it any easier. I will have a quiet word with the headmaster. Try and sort things out for you if I can.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Joe sniffed. “I’m sorry I was crying.” He hesitated for a moment. “I do love you, Dad.”
“Ditto, son, ditto,” replied Mr Spud.
Chapter 13
New Girl
The half-term holidays came and went, and when Joe returned to school on the Monday morning he found he wasn’t the centre of attention any more. There was a new girl at school, and because she was soooooooo pretty everyone was talking about her. When Joe walked into his classroom there she was, like a giant unexpected present.
“So what’s the first lesson today?” she asked as they walked across the playground.
“Sorry?” spluttered Joe.
“I said, ‘what’s the first lesson today?’” the new girl repeated.
“I know, it’s just… you’re really talking to me?” Joe couldn’t believe it.
“Yes, I am talking to you,” she laughed. “I’m Lauren.”
“I know.” Joe wasn’t sure if the fact that he had remembered her name made him sound suave or like a stalker.
“What’s your name?” she asked.
Joe smiled. At last there was someone at the school who knew nothing about him.
“My name is Joe,” he said to Lauren.
“Joe what?” asked Lauren.
Joe didn’t want her to know that he was the Bumfresh billionaire. “Erm, Joe Potato.”
“Joe Potato?” she asked, more than a little surprised.
“Yes…” stammered Joe. In the moment he had been too overwhelmed by her beauty to be able to come up with a better alternative to ‘Spud’.
“Unusual name, Potato,” said Lauren.
“Yes, I suppose it is. It is actually spelt with an ‘e’ at the end. Joe Potatoe . So it’s not quite the vegetable ‘potato’. That would be ridiculous! Ha ha!”
Lauren tried to laugh too, but she was looking at Joe a little oddly. Oh no , thought Joe. I only met this girl one minute ago and she already thinks I’m nuts . He quickly tried to change the subject. “We’ve got Maths next with Mr Crunch,” he said.
“OK.”
“And then we’ve got History with Miss Spite.”
“I hate History, it’s so boring.”
“You’ll hate it even more with Miss Spite. She’s a good teacher, I suppose, but all us kids hate her. We call her ‘The
Joe hesitated for a moment. “It’s plain to see you’re only with my dad for the money.”
“Don’t talk to your mother like that!” shouted Mr Spud.
Joe’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “She’s not my mother , she’s your stupid girlfriend and she’s only seven years older than me!”
“How dare you!” fumed Mr Spud. “Say sorry.”
Joe defiantly remained silent.
“I said, ‘say sorry’!” shouted Mr Spud.
“No!” shouted Joe.
“Go to your rooms!”
Joe pushed back his chair, making as much of a clatter as possible, and stomped upstairs, as the staff pretended not to see.
He sat on the edge of his bed and cradled himself in his arms. It was a long, long time since anyone had hugged him, so he hugged himself. He squeezed his own sobbing plumpness. He was beginning to wish that Dad had never invented ‘Bumfresh’ and they were all still living in the council flat with Mum. After a few moments, there was a knock on the door. Joe sat in defiant silence.
“It’s your dad.”
“Go away!” shouted Joe.
Mr Spud opened the door and sat down next to his son on the bed. He nearly slid off the bedspread onto the floor. Silk sheets may look nice, but they aren’t very practical.
Mr Spud bumjumped a little nearer to his son.
“I don’t like to see my little Spud like this. I know you don’t like Sapphire, but she makes me happy. Can you understand that?”
“Not really,” said Joe.
“And I know you had a tough day at school too. With that teacher, The Witch, and with that ungrateful boy, Bob. I’m sorry. I know how much you wanted a friend, and I know I didn’t make it any easier. I will have a quiet word with the headmaster. Try and sort things out for you if I can.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Joe sniffed. “I’m sorry I was crying.” He hesitated for a moment. “I do love you, Dad.”
“Ditto, son, ditto,” replied Mr Spud.
Chapter 13
New Girl
The half-term holidays came and went, and when Joe returned to school on the Monday morning he found he wasn’t the centre of attention any more. There was a new girl at school, and because she was soooooooo pretty everyone was talking about her. When Joe walked into his classroom there she was, like a giant unexpected present.
“So what’s the first lesson today?” she asked as they walked across the playground.
“Sorry?” spluttered Joe.
“I said, ‘what’s the first lesson today?’” the new girl repeated.
“I know, it’s just… you’re really talking to me?” Joe couldn’t believe it.
“Yes, I am talking to you,” she laughed. “I’m Lauren.”
“I know.” Joe wasn’t sure if the fact that he had remembered her name made him sound suave or like a stalker.
“What’s your name?” she asked.
Joe smiled. At last there was someone at the school who knew nothing about him.
“My name is Joe,” he said to Lauren.
“Joe what?” asked Lauren.
Joe didn’t want her to know that he was the Bumfresh billionaire. “Erm, Joe Potato.”
“Joe Potato?” she asked, more than a little surprised.
“Yes…” stammered Joe. In the moment he had been too overwhelmed by her beauty to be able to come up with a better alternative to ‘Spud’.
“Unusual name, Potato,” said Lauren.
“Yes, I suppose it is. It is actually spelt with an ‘e’ at the end. Joe Potatoe . So it’s not quite the vegetable ‘potato’. That would be ridiculous! Ha ha!”
Lauren tried to laugh too, but she was looking at Joe a little oddly. Oh no , thought Joe. I only met this girl one minute ago and she already thinks I’m nuts . He quickly tried to change the subject. “We’ve got Maths next with Mr Crunch,” he said.
“OK.”
“And then we’ve got History with Miss Spite.”
“I hate History, it’s so boring.”
“You’ll hate it even more with Miss Spite. She’s a good teacher, I suppose, but all us kids hate her. We call her ‘The
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