grounded! You’re to go nowhere other than driving your brother around. Got it?”
She glares at me, and it’s as if my anger has been flipped on by a switch. I cannot take her treating me like all I ever do is give her grief. I’ve never been any trouble, and she’s acting like I have nothing to do with the fact that she and Josh and I are even functioning as a family.
“You can’t do that,” I tell her. “You can’t ground me and still have me continue to do your job for you. If I’m grounded, then fine, but you can’t still make me drive Josh and the guys around.”
Her mouth opens and closes with shock, and I’m immediately ashamed. But I can’t turn my anger switch back off. This must be what becoming The Incredible Hulk feels like.
“Blaze, why are you making this about me?” Mom asks quietly. “You’re the one who lied.”
Hulk say, “Because I deserve to have a life, Mom. I’m not supposed to be the soccer mom! You are!”
It’s as if everything I’ve been holding back is being released at once. Like my lips are still mad about not getting to kiss Mark, and they’re lashing out at Mom.
“Blaze! If anybody stuck you in this role, it’s your father with his selfishness.” She doesn’t realize she’s just making Hulk more angry as she goes on, “Chasing his stupid acting dreams at forty? I mean, who the hell does that?”
Of course, from there it’s only a short segue to Mom pacing around the room giving a dramatic rendition of “ I’m an ACTOR now! I can’t possibly be bothered with supporting my family. I’m an AC-TOR!”
Finally, I cannot take it. Hulk Smash! I stand in her path.
“ You are the one who made the decision to leave your boring nine-to-five desk job working for Dr. Lang so you could have this big exciting adventure working all hours at the hospital.”
“Adventure, sure,” she says. “Left alone in the middle of nowhere, single mother with two kids and no help.”
“ I’ve been helping you,” I practically screech. “ME! Your daughter! Can’t you see how much I’ve sacrificed for you and Josh?”
Mom blinks at me, finally noticing her offspring has turned into an enormous green monster. “I know you’ve sacrificed. I tell you all the time how much I appreciate your help.”
“I know, I know, you don’t know what you’d do without me. But Mom, I’ve seriously got to get a life.”
She stares at me a moment before her face crumples. “I’m so sorry, Blaze.” She starts crying, and I instantly go from big and green to small and guilty.
“It’s fine, Mom, honestly. You know I love Josh. And I know you need my help. I was just thinking, I don’t know. Maybe it would be nice to get a part-time job at the mall or something.”
“Haven’t the guys been giving you money? I know it’s only fair for you to get paid for your time.” Mom searches my face with her teary eyes. “Do you need me to call their parents?”
“It’s not about the money, Mom,” I say. “It’s about the fact that I need to get out of that smelly minivan and away from the adolescent freak show a few days a week. Maybe hang out with some people my own age. People who have discovered the wonder of deodorant.”
“Blaze,” Mom chides.
“Oh come on. Don’t tell me you’ve never smelled them after a game.”
A moment passes. Mom’s frown gives way to the smallest chuckle, and the two of us are on our way to a truce. She tells me she’s going to see what she can do about getting more regular hours, and I promise not to do anything devious behind her back again. The two of us start cleaning up the chips and drinks together and by the time I head up to bed, Hulk happy .
• • •
That Monday, the story of Mark and I canoodling in my basement spreads through our small school at supersonic speed.
When I see Terri in the hallway she says, “So, I hear you and Mark may have started a little something over the weekend?”
“You’re the one spreading that
She glares at me, and it’s as if my anger has been flipped on by a switch. I cannot take her treating me like all I ever do is give her grief. I’ve never been any trouble, and she’s acting like I have nothing to do with the fact that she and Josh and I are even functioning as a family.
“You can’t do that,” I tell her. “You can’t ground me and still have me continue to do your job for you. If I’m grounded, then fine, but you can’t still make me drive Josh and the guys around.”
Her mouth opens and closes with shock, and I’m immediately ashamed. But I can’t turn my anger switch back off. This must be what becoming The Incredible Hulk feels like.
“Blaze, why are you making this about me?” Mom asks quietly. “You’re the one who lied.”
Hulk say, “Because I deserve to have a life, Mom. I’m not supposed to be the soccer mom! You are!”
It’s as if everything I’ve been holding back is being released at once. Like my lips are still mad about not getting to kiss Mark, and they’re lashing out at Mom.
“Blaze! If anybody stuck you in this role, it’s your father with his selfishness.” She doesn’t realize she’s just making Hulk more angry as she goes on, “Chasing his stupid acting dreams at forty? I mean, who the hell does that?”
Of course, from there it’s only a short segue to Mom pacing around the room giving a dramatic rendition of “ I’m an ACTOR now! I can’t possibly be bothered with supporting my family. I’m an AC-TOR!”
Finally, I cannot take it. Hulk Smash! I stand in her path.
“ You are the one who made the decision to leave your boring nine-to-five desk job working for Dr. Lang so you could have this big exciting adventure working all hours at the hospital.”
“Adventure, sure,” she says. “Left alone in the middle of nowhere, single mother with two kids and no help.”
“ I’ve been helping you,” I practically screech. “ME! Your daughter! Can’t you see how much I’ve sacrificed for you and Josh?”
Mom blinks at me, finally noticing her offspring has turned into an enormous green monster. “I know you’ve sacrificed. I tell you all the time how much I appreciate your help.”
“I know, I know, you don’t know what you’d do without me. But Mom, I’ve seriously got to get a life.”
She stares at me a moment before her face crumples. “I’m so sorry, Blaze.” She starts crying, and I instantly go from big and green to small and guilty.
“It’s fine, Mom, honestly. You know I love Josh. And I know you need my help. I was just thinking, I don’t know. Maybe it would be nice to get a part-time job at the mall or something.”
“Haven’t the guys been giving you money? I know it’s only fair for you to get paid for your time.” Mom searches my face with her teary eyes. “Do you need me to call their parents?”
“It’s not about the money, Mom,” I say. “It’s about the fact that I need to get out of that smelly minivan and away from the adolescent freak show a few days a week. Maybe hang out with some people my own age. People who have discovered the wonder of deodorant.”
“Blaze,” Mom chides.
“Oh come on. Don’t tell me you’ve never smelled them after a game.”
A moment passes. Mom’s frown gives way to the smallest chuckle, and the two of us are on our way to a truce. She tells me she’s going to see what she can do about getting more regular hours, and I promise not to do anything devious behind her back again. The two of us start cleaning up the chips and drinks together and by the time I head up to bed, Hulk happy .
• • •
That Monday, the story of Mark and I canoodling in my basement spreads through our small school at supersonic speed.
When I see Terri in the hallway she says, “So, I hear you and Mark may have started a little something over the weekend?”
“You’re the one spreading that
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