forehead carefully before offering a reply.
"Shhh, cara, you did nothing wrong. There is no good purpose behind any of this. Shadow still loves you—he is being mistreated, just as you are. This could well have waited, or another method could have been found. I find this senseless, my love. And Giff's fears are irrational. Giff is a new parent and is frightened for her child because Toff's taking was such a blow. It is my hope that this will work itself out. Rolfe holds this hope as well, because he finds it difficult to choose between two that he loves."
"He needs to stay with Giff. If we need to find another guard, then we'll find another guard." I sniffled—Rolfe was like the North Star for me—always at his post unless his position as Spawn Hunter for the Saa Thalarr called him away.
"No, cara," Gavin whispered against my hair. "Rolfe will not stand for that and even Giff knows not to ask. Giff needs to think this through rationally one day and she will discover that without you, she would not enjoy the life that she does. Rolfe would have been kept from her, if you had not come to rule Le-Ath Veronis."
"I don't want anything from her if she's not willing to give it," I muttered. Yeah, I was wallowing in self-pity.
"Cara, try to let this go for now. These are undeserved blows and it grieves me to see them aimed at you."
"What am I supposed to do, instead?" I watched Gavin's face—a muscle worked in his jaw—an emotional response he seldom displayed. His eyes weren't full of stars, either, as Kifirin's often were, but there was love and concern there. For me.
"Do you know why I was so worried about your walking into the sun, so long ago, cara? Why Aurelius was drawn into a trap so easily, when Xenides' whelp lied to him, telling him that one of his was injured by walking into the sun?" I blinked up at Gavin. I'd wondered about that—many times, in fact. It had seemed so incongruous, at the time—Gavin had been sent by the Council to eliminate me, but he'd begged me not to kill myself by walking into sunlight. I'd never figured that out.
"Tell me," I sighed.
"Aurelius made a female vampire, two centuries after René and I were turned. Her name was Lucia." I blinked at Gavin in shock and wondered if anyone else had heard this story. "We were all a little in love with her, I think," Gavin went on. "Lucia was barely nineteen and left for dead by travelers who'd been attacked by bandits. Aurelius attempted the turn and like a miracle, it worked. I think she must have had Elemaiyan blood, just as you do, cara. Else she would probably have died her final death. She lived with us for seventy years before giving herself to the sun." He shook his head sadly at remembered pain.
"Aurelius was inconsolable afterward. He barely kept himself alive. René and I were also devastated, but we forced ourselves to bring donors to Aurelius so he would feed, otherwise he might have wasted away. This went on for nearly twenty years, before my vampire sire finally pulled himself together. Then, that information was used against him—many knew how much he cared for his children. Aurelius died, or we were led to believe that he did. Therefore, René and I were reluctant to speak of it again—it was much too painful for us." I lifted a hand and traced Gavin's jaw—this was the first time he'd opened up to me regarding his past, and certainly the first time he'd displayed this much emotion.
"René went on to turn several and he loved them very much," Gavin continued. "I was unable to make any turns, because I did not believe I could deal with the pain of a child's death should it come to that. But you, cara, if I could turn back the clock and know of you and where you were, I would have been there a moment before Sergio could snatch you away. I would have turned you, just to make you mine. Wlodek would have been notified immediately. You would not have suffered, cara mia. Not at my hands."
"What happened to Devlin?" I'd been
"Shhh, cara, you did nothing wrong. There is no good purpose behind any of this. Shadow still loves you—he is being mistreated, just as you are. This could well have waited, or another method could have been found. I find this senseless, my love. And Giff's fears are irrational. Giff is a new parent and is frightened for her child because Toff's taking was such a blow. It is my hope that this will work itself out. Rolfe holds this hope as well, because he finds it difficult to choose between two that he loves."
"He needs to stay with Giff. If we need to find another guard, then we'll find another guard." I sniffled—Rolfe was like the North Star for me—always at his post unless his position as Spawn Hunter for the Saa Thalarr called him away.
"No, cara," Gavin whispered against my hair. "Rolfe will not stand for that and even Giff knows not to ask. Giff needs to think this through rationally one day and she will discover that without you, she would not enjoy the life that she does. Rolfe would have been kept from her, if you had not come to rule Le-Ath Veronis."
"I don't want anything from her if she's not willing to give it," I muttered. Yeah, I was wallowing in self-pity.
"Cara, try to let this go for now. These are undeserved blows and it grieves me to see them aimed at you."
"What am I supposed to do, instead?" I watched Gavin's face—a muscle worked in his jaw—an emotional response he seldom displayed. His eyes weren't full of stars, either, as Kifirin's often were, but there was love and concern there. For me.
"Do you know why I was so worried about your walking into the sun, so long ago, cara? Why Aurelius was drawn into a trap so easily, when Xenides' whelp lied to him, telling him that one of his was injured by walking into the sun?" I blinked up at Gavin. I'd wondered about that—many times, in fact. It had seemed so incongruous, at the time—Gavin had been sent by the Council to eliminate me, but he'd begged me not to kill myself by walking into sunlight. I'd never figured that out.
"Tell me," I sighed.
"Aurelius made a female vampire, two centuries after René and I were turned. Her name was Lucia." I blinked at Gavin in shock and wondered if anyone else had heard this story. "We were all a little in love with her, I think," Gavin went on. "Lucia was barely nineteen and left for dead by travelers who'd been attacked by bandits. Aurelius attempted the turn and like a miracle, it worked. I think she must have had Elemaiyan blood, just as you do, cara. Else she would probably have died her final death. She lived with us for seventy years before giving herself to the sun." He shook his head sadly at remembered pain.
"Aurelius was inconsolable afterward. He barely kept himself alive. René and I were also devastated, but we forced ourselves to bring donors to Aurelius so he would feed, otherwise he might have wasted away. This went on for nearly twenty years, before my vampire sire finally pulled himself together. Then, that information was used against him—many knew how much he cared for his children. Aurelius died, or we were led to believe that he did. Therefore, René and I were reluctant to speak of it again—it was much too painful for us." I lifted a hand and traced Gavin's jaw—this was the first time he'd opened up to me regarding his past, and certainly the first time he'd displayed this much emotion.
"René went on to turn several and he loved them very much," Gavin continued. "I was unable to make any turns, because I did not believe I could deal with the pain of a child's death should it come to that. But you, cara, if I could turn back the clock and know of you and where you were, I would have been there a moment before Sergio could snatch you away. I would have turned you, just to make you mine. Wlodek would have been notified immediately. You would not have suffered, cara mia. Not at my hands."
"What happened to Devlin?" I'd been
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