bliss. Who’d have ever guessed it would come down to TV programming and bickering over who should have bought an extra roll of toilet paper?
“In that case, I’ll see you in an hour, Rach. Get yourself ready,” Terri said, and headed upstairs.
Terrific. I was being left on my own to perform a minor miracle. I walked into the bathroom and studied my image in the mirror. Who was I kidding? We were talking a major overhaul here. The weather had turned my hair into a mop of thick frizz, and I felt as though there were caterpillars crawling on my skin. That led to a flashback of the parasitic wasps, causing a shiver to race through me. From there it was an easy leap to the movie Alien . I tore off my clothes and jumped into the shower, half expecting a drooling monster to pop out of my chest.
A half hour later, my entire wardrobe was no longer hanging in the closet but thrown in a heap on the bed. It never seems to matter how many garments I have, or how recently they were bought. Murphy’s Law decrees that nothing should ever fit.
I finally settled on a pair of low-rider jeans and a brand-new top. However, my hair remained a sullen child that stubbornly refused to behave. I was still battling with it whenTerri walked in the room. I felt all the more fashion challenged as I caught sight of the million-dollar babe.
Terri could easily have given J-Lo, Sharon Stone, and Cindy Crawford a run for their money. He was dressed in a low-cut blouse and a tight leather skirt with a slit running halfway up his thigh. No wonder I secretly wanted to pattern myself after him. Even Santou sat up straight in his chair and took note.
“Holy mother,” he whistled. “Why don’t you try dressing a little more like that, chère?”
I threw Jake a dirty glance and he wisely clammed up.
“Don’t tell me that you’re not ready yet,” Terri groaned.
I didn’t admit that he was looking at the finished product.
“It’s my hair. It refuses to do a thing,” I complained.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Rach. That’s easy enough to fix,” Terri scolded.
He took me into the bathroom and promptly set to work. Ten minutes later, even I was impressed. Terri had not only tamed my curls, but also transformed my top into a chic off-the-shoulder number. Then he put the finishing touches on my makeup.
“There. See how easy that was?” Terri asked, stepping back to admire his creation. “Your new mantra should be to spend less time playing with guns and more time fixing yourself up.”
“Yeah, except that a make-over won’t get me out of a tight spot,” I smartly retorted.
“Maybe not. But then again, a gun isn’t going to stop someone from thinking that you’re old enough to be Britney Spears’s mother. Meanwhile the proper hair, clothes, and makeup certainly will,” Terri wisely advised.
I considered that to be an exceptionally low blow, until I walked back into the living room and was greeted by Santou’s reaction.
“Whoa, chère! You’re going to have to use the Krav Maga you’ve learned to fight the guys off. Just don’t forget that I’m here waiting for you.”
That was enough to make me feel as seductively hot as one of Charlie’s Angels. My exhilaration overcame any remorse about leaving Jake at home. That is, until the door closed behind us, and my guilt kicked in. It was at times like this that I worried Santou might be tempted to take one too many pills, feeling lonely and depressed. Worst of all, it was my fault that he was in this situation. Terri had heard it all before, but I still had to vent.
“I don’t care what anyone says. I’m afraid Jake’s becoming addicted to painkillers. I can’t help it, Terri. Seeing him like this makes me crazy. The truth is, he wouldn’t have been on that plane if he hadn’t transferred to Savannah. I keep kicking myself in the rear over that.”
“Enough already. I know it’s natural for you to worry, what with being Jewish and the oy veh factor. But honestly,
“In that case, I’ll see you in an hour, Rach. Get yourself ready,” Terri said, and headed upstairs.
Terrific. I was being left on my own to perform a minor miracle. I walked into the bathroom and studied my image in the mirror. Who was I kidding? We were talking a major overhaul here. The weather had turned my hair into a mop of thick frizz, and I felt as though there were caterpillars crawling on my skin. That led to a flashback of the parasitic wasps, causing a shiver to race through me. From there it was an easy leap to the movie Alien . I tore off my clothes and jumped into the shower, half expecting a drooling monster to pop out of my chest.
A half hour later, my entire wardrobe was no longer hanging in the closet but thrown in a heap on the bed. It never seems to matter how many garments I have, or how recently they were bought. Murphy’s Law decrees that nothing should ever fit.
I finally settled on a pair of low-rider jeans and a brand-new top. However, my hair remained a sullen child that stubbornly refused to behave. I was still battling with it whenTerri walked in the room. I felt all the more fashion challenged as I caught sight of the million-dollar babe.
Terri could easily have given J-Lo, Sharon Stone, and Cindy Crawford a run for their money. He was dressed in a low-cut blouse and a tight leather skirt with a slit running halfway up his thigh. No wonder I secretly wanted to pattern myself after him. Even Santou sat up straight in his chair and took note.
“Holy mother,” he whistled. “Why don’t you try dressing a little more like that, chère?”
I threw Jake a dirty glance and he wisely clammed up.
“Don’t tell me that you’re not ready yet,” Terri groaned.
I didn’t admit that he was looking at the finished product.
“It’s my hair. It refuses to do a thing,” I complained.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Rach. That’s easy enough to fix,” Terri scolded.
He took me into the bathroom and promptly set to work. Ten minutes later, even I was impressed. Terri had not only tamed my curls, but also transformed my top into a chic off-the-shoulder number. Then he put the finishing touches on my makeup.
“There. See how easy that was?” Terri asked, stepping back to admire his creation. “Your new mantra should be to spend less time playing with guns and more time fixing yourself up.”
“Yeah, except that a make-over won’t get me out of a tight spot,” I smartly retorted.
“Maybe not. But then again, a gun isn’t going to stop someone from thinking that you’re old enough to be Britney Spears’s mother. Meanwhile the proper hair, clothes, and makeup certainly will,” Terri wisely advised.
I considered that to be an exceptionally low blow, until I walked back into the living room and was greeted by Santou’s reaction.
“Whoa, chère! You’re going to have to use the Krav Maga you’ve learned to fight the guys off. Just don’t forget that I’m here waiting for you.”
That was enough to make me feel as seductively hot as one of Charlie’s Angels. My exhilaration overcame any remorse about leaving Jake at home. That is, until the door closed behind us, and my guilt kicked in. It was at times like this that I worried Santou might be tempted to take one too many pills, feeling lonely and depressed. Worst of all, it was my fault that he was in this situation. Terri had heard it all before, but I still had to vent.
“I don’t care what anyone says. I’m afraid Jake’s becoming addicted to painkillers. I can’t help it, Terri. Seeing him like this makes me crazy. The truth is, he wouldn’t have been on that plane if he hadn’t transferred to Savannah. I keep kicking myself in the rear over that.”
“Enough already. I know it’s natural for you to worry, what with being Jewish and the oy veh factor. But honestly,
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