to conceive and then carry a baby to full term.
Ashleigh finally gives up her silence. “Sean is just being unreasonable.”
I can totally believe that. Since he returned from their coffee shop outing on Monday, Sean's been like a bear with a sore head and I haven't even seen Ashleigh at all. I think she's lying when she says she's working on a case... maybe working on avoiding something... or rather someone. But then again I'd be avoiding Sean's foul mood too if I had a choice in the matter but he's 'taking care of me.'
“Sean knows that after Wayne I swore I'd never waste anyone's time again for the sake of keeping Mom off my back.” Ashleigh sighs again. “If the magic's not there then it's not there and no matter how hard you try you can't make it happen. I'm mature enough to admit that I shouldn't have reacted about you and Wayne the way I did, Jules. It was childish and totally unnecessary. It was going nowhere and things would have only got worse for Wayne and me. I mean, you can only watch a rabbit come out of the hat so many times, right? Maybe this way was better. You know, like the proverbial band aid, because you guys have magic, I saw it.”
There's more. I hear it in her voice what was really going on in Ash's head that night. “You were jealous?”
“No!” I think she protests to quick. “Um, I guess... maybe a little.” But why? She has everything she could ever ask for. “Because I ... you... you went for what you wanted. To hell with the repercussions. And there were repercussions, I made sure of that.”
The admission surges my blood. How dare she? But I really want to focus on what's happening here and I think this is a conversation we have to have if we're ever going to be the friends we once were. So ... she was jealous that I caved into my feelings for Wayne? I think this means she knows she can snap her fingers and Sean would leave Anna and yet, she won't do it. So this thing with my brother has nothing to do with doing the right thing. It's fear and the only thing I know Ashleigh is afraid of is the press. What if they found out? The life she's worked hard for would be over.
“Julia, I'm so sorry for everything.”
“You know, apart from putting a wall between Sean and me, you've kept me from getting a job for the last three years by holding my portfolio hostage. Was revenge fun for you?”
“You think—” Ashleigh aborts whatever she was about to say. So I wait. I just leave the silence hanging between us because I'm pissed but I don't want to argue with her. When she speaks again the bitchy sting has left her tone. “I can't believe I'm going to say this, but do you know who I am?” Really? It isn't like Ashleigh to pull this kind of crap. “I'm Krystal Valentina, I have two television awards. My sister and I were the stars of the biggest sitcom of the nineties and ten years ago that stupid angel and devil shot Mimi and I did for Halloween was syndicated in magazines all around the world. I’m still being paid royalties for that picture. Do you know how humiliating it was to have my boyfriend run off with you?”
“Lil' ol' me? Gee, thanks, Krystal,” I hiss. I can't believe she believes that over-hyped bullshit. So what? Who cares? It was years ago and she didn't want any of it anyway so what does it matter?
“Don't call me that,” Ashleigh snaps.
“Why not? It's who you are, isn't it? Or did I miss the point of your humiliation?”
Ashleigh sighs again. “No. But it wasn't you. It could have been anyone. When your mom is as infamous for socializing as she is for her acting and your sister and her fiancé are Hollywood's golden couple, falling off the paparazzi radar is near impossible. I've worked so hard for years to slip into your world, Julia, a world where I don't have to look over my shoulder, a world where I can have lunch in the park, go on a date, even kiss a guy in a public place and not worry that it’ll be tomorrow’s headlines. I can just go about
Ashleigh finally gives up her silence. “Sean is just being unreasonable.”
I can totally believe that. Since he returned from their coffee shop outing on Monday, Sean's been like a bear with a sore head and I haven't even seen Ashleigh at all. I think she's lying when she says she's working on a case... maybe working on avoiding something... or rather someone. But then again I'd be avoiding Sean's foul mood too if I had a choice in the matter but he's 'taking care of me.'
“Sean knows that after Wayne I swore I'd never waste anyone's time again for the sake of keeping Mom off my back.” Ashleigh sighs again. “If the magic's not there then it's not there and no matter how hard you try you can't make it happen. I'm mature enough to admit that I shouldn't have reacted about you and Wayne the way I did, Jules. It was childish and totally unnecessary. It was going nowhere and things would have only got worse for Wayne and me. I mean, you can only watch a rabbit come out of the hat so many times, right? Maybe this way was better. You know, like the proverbial band aid, because you guys have magic, I saw it.”
There's more. I hear it in her voice what was really going on in Ash's head that night. “You were jealous?”
“No!” I think she protests to quick. “Um, I guess... maybe a little.” But why? She has everything she could ever ask for. “Because I ... you... you went for what you wanted. To hell with the repercussions. And there were repercussions, I made sure of that.”
The admission surges my blood. How dare she? But I really want to focus on what's happening here and I think this is a conversation we have to have if we're ever going to be the friends we once were. So ... she was jealous that I caved into my feelings for Wayne? I think this means she knows she can snap her fingers and Sean would leave Anna and yet, she won't do it. So this thing with my brother has nothing to do with doing the right thing. It's fear and the only thing I know Ashleigh is afraid of is the press. What if they found out? The life she's worked hard for would be over.
“Julia, I'm so sorry for everything.”
“You know, apart from putting a wall between Sean and me, you've kept me from getting a job for the last three years by holding my portfolio hostage. Was revenge fun for you?”
“You think—” Ashleigh aborts whatever she was about to say. So I wait. I just leave the silence hanging between us because I'm pissed but I don't want to argue with her. When she speaks again the bitchy sting has left her tone. “I can't believe I'm going to say this, but do you know who I am?” Really? It isn't like Ashleigh to pull this kind of crap. “I'm Krystal Valentina, I have two television awards. My sister and I were the stars of the biggest sitcom of the nineties and ten years ago that stupid angel and devil shot Mimi and I did for Halloween was syndicated in magazines all around the world. I’m still being paid royalties for that picture. Do you know how humiliating it was to have my boyfriend run off with you?”
“Lil' ol' me? Gee, thanks, Krystal,” I hiss. I can't believe she believes that over-hyped bullshit. So what? Who cares? It was years ago and she didn't want any of it anyway so what does it matter?
“Don't call me that,” Ashleigh snaps.
“Why not? It's who you are, isn't it? Or did I miss the point of your humiliation?”
Ashleigh sighs again. “No. But it wasn't you. It could have been anyone. When your mom is as infamous for socializing as she is for her acting and your sister and her fiancé are Hollywood's golden couple, falling off the paparazzi radar is near impossible. I've worked so hard for years to slip into your world, Julia, a world where I don't have to look over my shoulder, a world where I can have lunch in the park, go on a date, even kiss a guy in a public place and not worry that it’ll be tomorrow’s headlines. I can just go about
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