mine, his shoulders slumping on a loud exhale.
“I can only go by what I see, Tommy. You’re dressed right now like you’re ready to hit the club.” There, I said it, not a drop of regret in my heart.
“Jesus, Lil, come on,” he chides, disappointment evident. “How can you think I’m doing anything that isn’t related to work?”
I’m being petty and I know it. Shame and embarrassment churn inside me. Reasoning admonishes me, because this is about my issues, not his.
Candie is back with our food, our complimentary appetizer untouched. She talks to Tommy again, but I avert my eyes. I can’t take anymore tonight. The flirting, the feeling of being invisible. She places the thick, grilled steak and baked potato in front of me, and then leaves.
I grab my fork and steak knife and cut into my meat. The knife slices through like it’s butter, juices running across the plate, pooling around the potato. I bring a piece to my mouth. No need to chew. The moist meat dissolves against my tongue. I have to admit, feels good to have a real meal.
We eat in silence. No chitchat, no shop talk. I’ve stained the air with doubt and tension, and all I can do is wait until the toxic clouds dissipate.
We’re nearly done when Candie comes to check on us and Tommy asks for the bill. I glance up to find him watching me as if I’m some symbol he’s trying to decipher. About to take a drink, I pause, my water glass suspended mid-air.
“What?”
He looks resigned. “I wanted to give you something.” He halts me before I get a chance to interrupt. “It’s not a birthday present, okay? It’s something I wanted to give you for a long time.” He pulls a small black velvet box from his suit breast pocket.
I freeze.
Oh God. Oh God. Is this why he wanted me to wear a dress? What the fuck is he doing?
My eyes and mouth are wide open. I’m hyperventilating. The room seems to tilt side to side, and I drop my glass with a loud thud, and grip the sides of the table tightly.
“Breathe, Harper. It’s not a ring,” he says, a hint of hurt and dejection in his expression. “Good thing it isn’t, because if your face is any hint of your answer, I would’ve made an ass of myself.” The corner of his lip turns slightly upward in a bittersweet smile.
I can’t believe I panicked. I actually panicked even though I knew better.
Neither one of us has been good at relationships in the past. Just because we’re finally together, doesn’t mean we are ready for marriage.
I’m afraid to touch the box after he gingerly places it next to my dinner plate. Thankfully I’m done with my meal, because I couldn’t muster another bite. I caress the soft velvet. Tommy knows me better than anyone. He knows I don’t do gifts.
Gifts bring too much attention, high expectations, and have too many strings attached, which is why I have a strict no-gifts-ever policy.
“Just open it, Harper,” Tommy says, flatly. “It won’t bite.”
You’d think I just kicked his dog. This is exactly why I don’t like gifts.
I don’t want to open it because I’m afraid of what it is, and what it will mean. Sighing, I grab the box and push up the lid, holding it close to my chest.
It is certainly not a ring. It’s a silver necklace with a pendant.
It’s beautiful.
It’s us .
As I admire it, Tommy adds nervously, “It’s something I picked up a long time ago. I saw it and it reminded me of you, so anyway, it’s not expensive or anything....” His words swirl inside me, killing those ugly minions lurking in my head, driving each one into the ground.
My heart is there, in the pendant’s design, which I quickly recognize. It’s the Claddagh symbol, hanging from a Celtic trinity knot. I’m speechless.
“Anyway, so I noticed it’s like that ring the vampire gave Buffy on the show. You made me watch that shit so much, so, I thought you’d like it.”
My eyes and throat sting, I’m so overwhelmed by emotion for this man. How is he so
“I can only go by what I see, Tommy. You’re dressed right now like you’re ready to hit the club.” There, I said it, not a drop of regret in my heart.
“Jesus, Lil, come on,” he chides, disappointment evident. “How can you think I’m doing anything that isn’t related to work?”
I’m being petty and I know it. Shame and embarrassment churn inside me. Reasoning admonishes me, because this is about my issues, not his.
Candie is back with our food, our complimentary appetizer untouched. She talks to Tommy again, but I avert my eyes. I can’t take anymore tonight. The flirting, the feeling of being invisible. She places the thick, grilled steak and baked potato in front of me, and then leaves.
I grab my fork and steak knife and cut into my meat. The knife slices through like it’s butter, juices running across the plate, pooling around the potato. I bring a piece to my mouth. No need to chew. The moist meat dissolves against my tongue. I have to admit, feels good to have a real meal.
We eat in silence. No chitchat, no shop talk. I’ve stained the air with doubt and tension, and all I can do is wait until the toxic clouds dissipate.
We’re nearly done when Candie comes to check on us and Tommy asks for the bill. I glance up to find him watching me as if I’m some symbol he’s trying to decipher. About to take a drink, I pause, my water glass suspended mid-air.
“What?”
He looks resigned. “I wanted to give you something.” He halts me before I get a chance to interrupt. “It’s not a birthday present, okay? It’s something I wanted to give you for a long time.” He pulls a small black velvet box from his suit breast pocket.
I freeze.
Oh God. Oh God. Is this why he wanted me to wear a dress? What the fuck is he doing?
My eyes and mouth are wide open. I’m hyperventilating. The room seems to tilt side to side, and I drop my glass with a loud thud, and grip the sides of the table tightly.
“Breathe, Harper. It’s not a ring,” he says, a hint of hurt and dejection in his expression. “Good thing it isn’t, because if your face is any hint of your answer, I would’ve made an ass of myself.” The corner of his lip turns slightly upward in a bittersweet smile.
I can’t believe I panicked. I actually panicked even though I knew better.
Neither one of us has been good at relationships in the past. Just because we’re finally together, doesn’t mean we are ready for marriage.
I’m afraid to touch the box after he gingerly places it next to my dinner plate. Thankfully I’m done with my meal, because I couldn’t muster another bite. I caress the soft velvet. Tommy knows me better than anyone. He knows I don’t do gifts.
Gifts bring too much attention, high expectations, and have too many strings attached, which is why I have a strict no-gifts-ever policy.
“Just open it, Harper,” Tommy says, flatly. “It won’t bite.”
You’d think I just kicked his dog. This is exactly why I don’t like gifts.
I don’t want to open it because I’m afraid of what it is, and what it will mean. Sighing, I grab the box and push up the lid, holding it close to my chest.
It is certainly not a ring. It’s a silver necklace with a pendant.
It’s beautiful.
It’s us .
As I admire it, Tommy adds nervously, “It’s something I picked up a long time ago. I saw it and it reminded me of you, so anyway, it’s not expensive or anything....” His words swirl inside me, killing those ugly minions lurking in my head, driving each one into the ground.
My heart is there, in the pendant’s design, which I quickly recognize. It’s the Claddagh symbol, hanging from a Celtic trinity knot. I’m speechless.
“Anyway, so I noticed it’s like that ring the vampire gave Buffy on the show. You made me watch that shit so much, so, I thought you’d like it.”
My eyes and throat sting, I’m so overwhelmed by emotion for this man. How is he so
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