noticed
all eyes were on me. I felt like I was floating in my gorgeous
wedding dress as my father walked me to the altar.
One of the few things my mother helped out
with was finding and paying for my dress. She surprised me by
suggested that we stop at Abigail's and look for a wedding dress
one Saturday morning. I was shocked! Up until this point she had
not seemed to show much interest in me or my wedding. I think she
was still angry about my pregnancy. The dress I chose was ivory and
satin with an empire waist and A-line skirt. The scalloped neckline
brought all eyes to my face. There was lace around the hem. It was
an elegant dress with delicate frills all around that covered my
body quite well.
Approaching the altar I looked at Sam. I was
thinking how I was grateful that my father was able to walk me down
the aisle—sober. After we exchanged our vows, we had our first kiss
as Mr. and Mrs. Samuel O'Malley. The audience clapped and cheered.
When we walked out of the church and down the steps to Sam's car,
our family and friends threw the ceremonial rice. I found this to
be quite annoying. I was not pleased when I got to the car and
realized that my hair was covered in wedding rice. Sam laughed it
off, which annoyed me even more.
When we arrived at the Scottish Rite Cathedral
we entered the ballroom located on the second floor. The DJ
introduced as Mr. and Mrs. O’Malley, and the party began. Well, it
began for everyone but me. While it was wonderful being the center
of attention and receiving so many compliments, what I really
wanted was a drink. Many were well on their way to getting drunk
and I wanted to join them. I snuck a glass of wine. It instantly
calmed my nerves, so I had another. When Sam's mother saw what I
was doing she went over to him to say something. Mary Alice was
acting like a total bitch. She was ruining my special
day!
Like her puppet, Sam came over and told me to
slow down with the drinking. I asked him if he had any idea what it
was like to be pregnant. He just gave me a blank stare. I told him
to back off, that if he ruined my wedding day I would never forgive
him. Like a good boy he left me alone, but his mother was another
story.
Later that night Mary Alice found me smoking
with some friends in the parking lot. She pulled me aside and said
she couldn’t believe how careless I was being with the child
growing inside of me. I had been holding back for way too long, so
I unleashed on her. Seeing this Sam grabbed me by the arm. He
dragged me to his car kicking and screaming.
“ It's my body, I can do whatever I
want.” I shouted.
Then I slipped, telling Sam how my mother was
forcing me to have this baby. How I wanted an abortion, how it was
my body, my decision. How my mother guilted me into having the
baby. Sam was in shock.
While it had been a nice evening up to that
point it wasn't what I had dreamed about. Maybe that's why I drank
so much. I didn’t feel like a princess. Was it because deep down in
my heart I knew Sam wasn't really my prince? I’m not sure why, but
I am grateful of one thing... No one questioned our marriage. They
seemed to believe Sam and I were two young kids in love who wanted
to spend the rest of our lives together. I know this made my mother
happy.
August 22, 1978
It’s been about a month since the wedding.
Thank God my morning sickness has subsided! I spend most days in
our little apartment sleeping. My visits to the Riviera Club are
much less frequent due to the fact that my belly is showing. The
only people that know I am pregnant are a few close friends and our
families. I’m sure when I can no longer hide my baby bump the
gossip start and the calculations will begin.
“ When did they get
married?”
“ She looks much farther along than
just a couple of months. Sam must have knocked her up. That’s why
he married her.”
“ I wonder when she is
due?”
“ I wonder if she is going back to
school in September to finish her senior year?”
I can
all eyes were on me. I felt like I was floating in my gorgeous
wedding dress as my father walked me to the altar.
One of the few things my mother helped out
with was finding and paying for my dress. She surprised me by
suggested that we stop at Abigail's and look for a wedding dress
one Saturday morning. I was shocked! Up until this point she had
not seemed to show much interest in me or my wedding. I think she
was still angry about my pregnancy. The dress I chose was ivory and
satin with an empire waist and A-line skirt. The scalloped neckline
brought all eyes to my face. There was lace around the hem. It was
an elegant dress with delicate frills all around that covered my
body quite well.
Approaching the altar I looked at Sam. I was
thinking how I was grateful that my father was able to walk me down
the aisle—sober. After we exchanged our vows, we had our first kiss
as Mr. and Mrs. Samuel O'Malley. The audience clapped and cheered.
When we walked out of the church and down the steps to Sam's car,
our family and friends threw the ceremonial rice. I found this to
be quite annoying. I was not pleased when I got to the car and
realized that my hair was covered in wedding rice. Sam laughed it
off, which annoyed me even more.
When we arrived at the Scottish Rite Cathedral
we entered the ballroom located on the second floor. The DJ
introduced as Mr. and Mrs. O’Malley, and the party began. Well, it
began for everyone but me. While it was wonderful being the center
of attention and receiving so many compliments, what I really
wanted was a drink. Many were well on their way to getting drunk
and I wanted to join them. I snuck a glass of wine. It instantly
calmed my nerves, so I had another. When Sam's mother saw what I
was doing she went over to him to say something. Mary Alice was
acting like a total bitch. She was ruining my special
day!
Like her puppet, Sam came over and told me to
slow down with the drinking. I asked him if he had any idea what it
was like to be pregnant. He just gave me a blank stare. I told him
to back off, that if he ruined my wedding day I would never forgive
him. Like a good boy he left me alone, but his mother was another
story.
Later that night Mary Alice found me smoking
with some friends in the parking lot. She pulled me aside and said
she couldn’t believe how careless I was being with the child
growing inside of me. I had been holding back for way too long, so
I unleashed on her. Seeing this Sam grabbed me by the arm. He
dragged me to his car kicking and screaming.
“ It's my body, I can do whatever I
want.” I shouted.
Then I slipped, telling Sam how my mother was
forcing me to have this baby. How I wanted an abortion, how it was
my body, my decision. How my mother guilted me into having the
baby. Sam was in shock.
While it had been a nice evening up to that
point it wasn't what I had dreamed about. Maybe that's why I drank
so much. I didn’t feel like a princess. Was it because deep down in
my heart I knew Sam wasn't really my prince? I’m not sure why, but
I am grateful of one thing... No one questioned our marriage. They
seemed to believe Sam and I were two young kids in love who wanted
to spend the rest of our lives together. I know this made my mother
happy.
August 22, 1978
It’s been about a month since the wedding.
Thank God my morning sickness has subsided! I spend most days in
our little apartment sleeping. My visits to the Riviera Club are
much less frequent due to the fact that my belly is showing. The
only people that know I am pregnant are a few close friends and our
families. I’m sure when I can no longer hide my baby bump the
gossip start and the calculations will begin.
“ When did they get
married?”
“ She looks much farther along than
just a couple of months. Sam must have knocked her up. That’s why
he married her.”
“ I wonder when she is
due?”
“ I wonder if she is going back to
school in September to finish her senior year?”
I can
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