appetite that evening. William and I sat
and stared at each other in the kitchen picking at the dinner that Sarah had
cooked, pushing meatballs around in the spaghetti, both thinking the same
thing. Helplessly thinking that we would rather be somewhere else. Back at the
beach with them . I felt so guilty, not that
anything had happened between Aiyana and I, but
because I kept thinking about her and longing for her. I was after all married
to Heather and we had created a family together.
I sent Sarah home early since I was home anyway and
wanted put William to bed myself for once.
"Can I come with you to the clinic and see Luyu when she comes in for surgery?" William suddenly
asked.
"How do you know about that?"
" Luyu told me. When we
were at the beach."
I blinked a couple of times a little surprised that
she had known. "Sure," I said. "But not a word to your mother,
okay?"
He promised me.
"Now eat up and then go play. I'll be up in a bit
to get you ready for bed."
After I had put William
in bed and checked on Heather who was sound asleep again with her plate of food
untouched on the nightstand I went downstairs to my office and poured myself
another drink. I wasn't the least bit tired as usual and knew that I would
never be able to find rest. Not tonight. Not with her still in my mind. I tried
to read the newspaper, then some of my books, but I couldn't concentrate on any
of it. As soon as I started a sentence my thoughts would wander and always end
up in the same place. With her. I suddenly felt so lonely, gruesomely lonely. I
turned on the TV to fill the empty void when the restlessness suddenly came
over me again. I simply couldn't sit still. The energy level was too high. The
muscle pain soon followed along with the sensation of them growing bigger and
stronger.
I stared out at the water. In the distance I saw
lights from the cars and houses on the barrier island. I realized I could
actually see it. Not just the lights but everything. I spotted details I had
never seen before. I saw trees on the other side of the wide intracoastal water; I saw houses, even people moving and
cars driving. I couldn't believe it. I saw things I would have a hard time
seeing even in daylight even with my binoculars. I even spotted a boat in the
darkness, a small fishing-boat with no lights and a guy in it pulling the nets
and loads of fish into the empty boat. I could even tell the color of the
bucket he threw them in. It was blue. Dark blue and it had a crack in the right
side. I followed the fisherman and was quite amazed to watch him cut the fish
open and clean them with a small knife. I saw the entrails as he gutted each
fish. This was extraordinary, I thought. I walked outside and started watching
everything, really watching it.
Small animals crawling up the trunks of the palm-trees, squirrels, roaches,
even small ants. Every movement attracted my attention immediately. I could
hear them as well. I could hear them crawl and eat. The yard was so filled with
sounds it was overwhelming. I went back inside and closed the French doors
behind me. Then I went to the bathroom and stared at my reflection. Just as I
has expected the glowing eyes were back. So were the growing muscles. I was
changing somehow. But what was I becoming? What was happening to me? I stared
in the darkness of the bathroom at all the little details I had never noticed
before, dust, dirt in the corners, and a hair on the floor. I broke into a
sweat and had to get my shirt off. Where did that sudden, intense heat come
from? It was as if my entire body was burning, my blood was near to boiling.
Then something new happened. Something I hadn't felt
or seen before. There was a burning sensation on both sides of my arm. I looked
at it and noticed four glowing spots on it. Two on top and two on the bottom.
They were glowing in the dark when a bright light seemed to emerge from all
four spots, as if there were holes in the skin and light was emanating from
inside of
and stared at each other in the kitchen picking at the dinner that Sarah had
cooked, pushing meatballs around in the spaghetti, both thinking the same
thing. Helplessly thinking that we would rather be somewhere else. Back at the
beach with them . I felt so guilty, not that
anything had happened between Aiyana and I, but
because I kept thinking about her and longing for her. I was after all married
to Heather and we had created a family together.
I sent Sarah home early since I was home anyway and
wanted put William to bed myself for once.
"Can I come with you to the clinic and see Luyu when she comes in for surgery?" William suddenly
asked.
"How do you know about that?"
" Luyu told me. When we
were at the beach."
I blinked a couple of times a little surprised that
she had known. "Sure," I said. "But not a word to your mother,
okay?"
He promised me.
"Now eat up and then go play. I'll be up in a bit
to get you ready for bed."
After I had put William
in bed and checked on Heather who was sound asleep again with her plate of food
untouched on the nightstand I went downstairs to my office and poured myself
another drink. I wasn't the least bit tired as usual and knew that I would
never be able to find rest. Not tonight. Not with her still in my mind. I tried
to read the newspaper, then some of my books, but I couldn't concentrate on any
of it. As soon as I started a sentence my thoughts would wander and always end
up in the same place. With her. I suddenly felt so lonely, gruesomely lonely. I
turned on the TV to fill the empty void when the restlessness suddenly came
over me again. I simply couldn't sit still. The energy level was too high. The
muscle pain soon followed along with the sensation of them growing bigger and
stronger.
I stared out at the water. In the distance I saw
lights from the cars and houses on the barrier island. I realized I could
actually see it. Not just the lights but everything. I spotted details I had
never seen before. I saw trees on the other side of the wide intracoastal water; I saw houses, even people moving and
cars driving. I couldn't believe it. I saw things I would have a hard time
seeing even in daylight even with my binoculars. I even spotted a boat in the
darkness, a small fishing-boat with no lights and a guy in it pulling the nets
and loads of fish into the empty boat. I could even tell the color of the
bucket he threw them in. It was blue. Dark blue and it had a crack in the right
side. I followed the fisherman and was quite amazed to watch him cut the fish
open and clean them with a small knife. I saw the entrails as he gutted each
fish. This was extraordinary, I thought. I walked outside and started watching
everything, really watching it.
Small animals crawling up the trunks of the palm-trees, squirrels, roaches,
even small ants. Every movement attracted my attention immediately. I could
hear them as well. I could hear them crawl and eat. The yard was so filled with
sounds it was overwhelming. I went back inside and closed the French doors
behind me. Then I went to the bathroom and stared at my reflection. Just as I
has expected the glowing eyes were back. So were the growing muscles. I was
changing somehow. But what was I becoming? What was happening to me? I stared
in the darkness of the bathroom at all the little details I had never noticed
before, dust, dirt in the corners, and a hair on the floor. I broke into a
sweat and had to get my shirt off. Where did that sudden, intense heat come
from? It was as if my entire body was burning, my blood was near to boiling.
Then something new happened. Something I hadn't felt
or seen before. There was a burning sensation on both sides of my arm. I looked
at it and noticed four glowing spots on it. Two on top and two on the bottom.
They were glowing in the dark when a bright light seemed to emerge from all
four spots, as if there were holes in the skin and light was emanating from
inside of
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