Broken Crowns by Lauren DeStefano Page A

now, the words are on my tongue: Basil, I kissed Judas.
    I almost say it. I let it replay in my head over and over as this loaded silence exists between us.
    But I don’t. Selfishly I rest my head on his shoulder and I think about the jet breaking through Internment’s atmosphere. I think about what will await us when we arrive, if we arrive, and I wonder if any of it can be undone.

    Pen is gone for most of the evening, and she returns just as I’m turning down the covers. I’m only going through the motions; I know I’ll be too nervous to sleep.
    â€œWell, that was brutal,” she says, and falls onto her bed.
    â€œWhat happened?”
    â€œHe was upset that I didn’t clue him in to what’s going on. It’s just that he worries about me, and I feel how much he worries about me.” She squirms against the mattress. “All his doting can make me so itchy.”
    â€œDid he go along with it?” I say.
    â€œUltimately, yes. He hates this world. Maybe he’s foolishly hoping that we can go back to Internment and it will be as we left it. I don’t know.” She wriggles under the blanket. “He’s going to try to come with us if the king will allow a fourth. I suppose I owe him at least that much.”
    â€œMind if I turn out the lights?”
    She shakes her head, closes her eyes.
    It’s only after I’ve gotten into my bed and we’ve settled into the darkness that I’m brave enough to say what’s on my mind.
    â€œDo you think I’m a detestable person for kissing Judas?”
    â€œFrom what I saw, he was the one who kissed you.”
    â€œEven so.”
    I hear the sheets rustling as she moves. “You’re not a detestable person, Morgan. I mean, if you were—what does that make me? I’m sure if we kept a tally of our sins, I would be in the lead.”
    â€œIt’s not the quantity of sins in this instance, but the magnitude.”
    â€œI don’t think it was right,” she admits. “But I know you, and I know you wouldn’t have done something like that at home. It’s this mad world that’s made us all feverish.”
    I think of the night I saved Judas from the patrolmen who were coming for him. I pushed him into the lake to hide him, and after that he tried to scare me off. I still remember the fresh grief in his eyes, the severe angles of his face. He was nothing at all like Basil, and yet he stood so close to me that I could feel his breath. I was terrified with intrigue.
    But Pen is right. I wouldn’t have kissed him, because back home I did all I could to follow the rules, to be what was expected of me.
    â€œI spent my life thinking all those little things mattered back home. Those rules. But five minutes in this world and it all came undone.”
    â€œStop punishing yourself,” Pen says. “Everything I ever loved about you is still intact. I’m sure Basil feels the same way.”
    We don’t speak after that, and eventually her breathing changes, and somehow she has found a way to sleep.

    I’m still lying awake when the sun begins to lighten the sky. Nimble knocks on the door and says, “Ten minutes.”
    It’s still early enough that the rest of the house is sleeping. The night’s insects are still singing.
    Nimble is waiting for us at the door, weaving the car keys between his fingers anxiously. He watches as Pen, Basil, Thomas, and I convene before him. His eyes are sympathetic. “Sorry, kiddos. The king sent word this morning that he’d like to speak with only you and you.” He nods to Basil and me.
    â€œWhat?” Pen says. “But I thought—”
    â€œPrince Azure’s request,” Nim says. “We should be grateful that he convinced King Ingram to meet with you at all.”
    Pen looks from Thomas to me, fury in her eyes. “That royal terror is trying to ruin everything.”
    â€œHe must have a