great kid. He’ll grow up to be just like Bruno, I’m sure of it.
I hear a groan and quickly avert my attention from the toy truck to Bruno’s eyes. They’re still closed as if he’s sleeping. Why does sleep have to look so much death?
He was having trouble breathing. His breaths have always been shallow since he got sick, but they were even worse now. As soon as I had gotten back from the mall, my mom had smothered me with her arms, not trying to hide her tears the way she normally does. I knew right then that Bruno didn’t have much time.
By now I had been at Bruno’s for over six hours. The doctor’s hadn’t seen his death coming this soon. They thought the experimental drugs wouldn’t damage his heart as much as it did. Bruno’s parents were downstairs handling the continuous phone calls from extended family that wanted updates. Mrs. Castino hadn’t wanted to leave her son, but she knew there was nothing more she could do. This was the first time since I’ve been left alone with him. I squeeze him extra tight, hoping that will death at bay.
“I’m not letting go,” I whisper.
He doesn’t answer.
I lean in closer, hugging him tighter; my heart on his chest. I can’t stop the tears now.
“I love you so much,” I say, sobbing so hard I don’t think anyone but him can understand me, “I’ve loved you since the first day. I’ve loved since before Tim. I loved since I knew you were a beautiful person, too. I loved you when I saw you take care of Alex’s skinned knee. I loved you when you shared your lunch with the kid who couldn’t afford to buy a meal. I loved you when you choose going to church in support of an un-wed mother over going to a party to get drunk. I loved you since the first time you called me beautiful. I loved you since you turned down your first girl even when you didn’t have to just because you knew I loved you. I loved you since I heard you sing. I loved you since before you ever knew. And I’m so glad you know, Bruno. I’m so glad you knew and I didn’t have to tell you, but I’m telling you now because I want you to hear it from me. I want to validate what you already know. You’re the first guy I ever loved. I don’t care if you weren’t my first kiss, or the first guy I went to a dance with. I don’t care if we haven’t been in love since we were seven. I just care about you. You are my fairytale. And even if my fairytale ends now, it’s still a fairytale. Better than all of Disney’s combined. I won’t ever stop loving you, Bruno. You taught me its okay to not pretend. You taught me what true beauty was. You taught me that loving is beautiful and to never stop being beautiful and never stop appreciating beautiful things.”
My tears have dampened his gray shirt. I keep crying and squeezing and loving. I know eventually my tears will stop; eventually I’ll have to let go; but I will never have to stop loving.
“I love you, beautiful” I say, as I look up at his face.
His heartbeat quickens. It’s stronger than it ever was before. His eyes flutter open. They are more sparkly than I remember. He looks so beautiful. He doesn’t tell me he loves me, but when he looks into my eyes, I know. I know he loves me, he loved me before, and he’ll love me forever.
His eyes close and his heart stops. The shallow breathing I once heard before, I no longer hear. I squeeze him once more, let one more tear fall, then I let go.
Bruno looks happy. The way he did when we danced, the way he did when I first spoke Italian to him. He looks like the real Bruno. It really is true; you do look more beautiful after death. Because now when I look at Bruno, I don’t see the hurt he feels because of his illness or medicine, I just see the happiness and love he made me feel; and will continue to make me feel. I see the memories we share.
I’m at peace just like Bruno is. I’m in such peace that I don’t feel Mrs. Castino guide me out of the room. I don’t feel my dad pick
I hear a groan and quickly avert my attention from the toy truck to Bruno’s eyes. They’re still closed as if he’s sleeping. Why does sleep have to look so much death?
He was having trouble breathing. His breaths have always been shallow since he got sick, but they were even worse now. As soon as I had gotten back from the mall, my mom had smothered me with her arms, not trying to hide her tears the way she normally does. I knew right then that Bruno didn’t have much time.
By now I had been at Bruno’s for over six hours. The doctor’s hadn’t seen his death coming this soon. They thought the experimental drugs wouldn’t damage his heart as much as it did. Bruno’s parents were downstairs handling the continuous phone calls from extended family that wanted updates. Mrs. Castino hadn’t wanted to leave her son, but she knew there was nothing more she could do. This was the first time since I’ve been left alone with him. I squeeze him extra tight, hoping that will death at bay.
“I’m not letting go,” I whisper.
He doesn’t answer.
I lean in closer, hugging him tighter; my heart on his chest. I can’t stop the tears now.
“I love you so much,” I say, sobbing so hard I don’t think anyone but him can understand me, “I’ve loved you since the first day. I’ve loved since before Tim. I loved since I knew you were a beautiful person, too. I loved you when I saw you take care of Alex’s skinned knee. I loved you when you shared your lunch with the kid who couldn’t afford to buy a meal. I loved you when you choose going to church in support of an un-wed mother over going to a party to get drunk. I loved you since the first time you called me beautiful. I loved you since you turned down your first girl even when you didn’t have to just because you knew I loved you. I loved you since I heard you sing. I loved you since before you ever knew. And I’m so glad you know, Bruno. I’m so glad you knew and I didn’t have to tell you, but I’m telling you now because I want you to hear it from me. I want to validate what you already know. You’re the first guy I ever loved. I don’t care if you weren’t my first kiss, or the first guy I went to a dance with. I don’t care if we haven’t been in love since we were seven. I just care about you. You are my fairytale. And even if my fairytale ends now, it’s still a fairytale. Better than all of Disney’s combined. I won’t ever stop loving you, Bruno. You taught me its okay to not pretend. You taught me what true beauty was. You taught me that loving is beautiful and to never stop being beautiful and never stop appreciating beautiful things.”
My tears have dampened his gray shirt. I keep crying and squeezing and loving. I know eventually my tears will stop; eventually I’ll have to let go; but I will never have to stop loving.
“I love you, beautiful” I say, as I look up at his face.
His heartbeat quickens. It’s stronger than it ever was before. His eyes flutter open. They are more sparkly than I remember. He looks so beautiful. He doesn’t tell me he loves me, but when he looks into my eyes, I know. I know he loves me, he loved me before, and he’ll love me forever.
His eyes close and his heart stops. The shallow breathing I once heard before, I no longer hear. I squeeze him once more, let one more tear fall, then I let go.
Bruno looks happy. The way he did when we danced, the way he did when I first spoke Italian to him. He looks like the real Bruno. It really is true; you do look more beautiful after death. Because now when I look at Bruno, I don’t see the hurt he feels because of his illness or medicine, I just see the happiness and love he made me feel; and will continue to make me feel. I see the memories we share.
I’m at peace just like Bruno is. I’m in such peace that I don’t feel Mrs. Castino guide me out of the room. I don’t feel my dad pick
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