me, cautious of not being too overzealous like her mom. I give her a trifling smile in return. “Good folding job,” I compliment as a ploy to distract her.
“Thanks. It’s an important life skill to have.” She laughs and continues to watch us.
“You’ll have to teach me. I wouldn’t want to get through life not knowing your secret.”
“I’ll teach you and then you can fold your own napkins for yours and Wilderness’ table.” Finn looks over to her at the mention of his name. “What now, Sims? What stories are you making up about me?” I remember that he had teased Pam similarly at Chimborazo.
“Nothing that you haven’t already heard,” she bluntly replies with an eye roll.
“Yeah, right.” Finn turns to Ricky and laughs at something that his BFF said to him. Finn’s fingers rub mine, so I know he’s at least partially with me.
Julie starts passing the food around as Chrissie takes her seat next to Simone and Julie. I let go of Finn’s hand as Simone passes me the mashed potatoes. I take a small scoopful and then give them to Finn. Simone then hands me a tray of broiled cod.
After all the food is passed around, Julie leads all of us into a prayer. Everyone except for me makes the sign of the cross. Again, I feel left out. When will I ever fit in?
Julie announces, “There are a couple things I wanted to talk to you about. First, Simone, why don’t you tell everybody what you and I recently did?”
She finishes chewing around her sudden grin. “Are you sure I should bring it up now?” Julie readily nods and we all turn to stare at Simone, eagerly awaiting her news. “Well, Mom and I were playing around on the Internet one night and—”
Ricky interrupts, “Oh, no. That’s never a good thing for you to do. Did you get a job as a topless waitress or something?” Everyone snickers and Simone scowls at him.
“Gross, no. Shut up, Officer Tesco. Anyway, Mom and I found this website. Well, we both became ordained ministers…for free. It’s actually legal and legit.”
“Why would you do that?” Chrissie asks and looks at her mother and then to her sister. She then skims her gaze to Finn as it dawns on her. Knowingly smiling, she slowly says, “ Oh … Can you guess why, little brother?” She smirks as her eyes widen and she shakes her head.
Finn takes a guarded, deep breath. “Really?”
Julie replies, “Yep. We can even perform funerals, baptisms, vow renewals or whatever.”
“Are you serious?” Chrishelle asks her mother. “Why would you honestly do that?” Julie and Simone collectively grin , acutely regarding Finn and me, similar to vultures honing in on their prey.
Oh, shit. This is not good.
“So that is it, then,” Chrissie says. “You really did do it so you can marry your son off?”
“Yes!” Simone clasps her hands together like she’s at a Pearl Jam concert. “Surprise!”
Finn whips his head over to his sister. “What do you mean ‘surprise’?”
Julie says, “Well, Simone and I were thinking that maybe one of us could, you know, perform a marriage ceremony for you two while you’re here.”
What. The. Fuck ?
“Huh?” Finn asks, totally thrown off. I peer at him and his abysmal scowl shows his utter confusion, as does mine; although, I’m not nearly as confused as he seems to be.
Simone offers, “We know it wouldn’t be legal right now since you haven’t filed for a marriage license, but we could still perform a ceremony.”
Julie excitedly imparts, “We could also perform it and fudge the date when we sign the license!”
Shaking his head, Ricky covers his ears and shouts, “I can’t be hearing this!”
Finn angles his head and irritably rolls his eyes. “Oh, that’s a good way to start off a marriage, by not making it even legal!”
Simone says, “We wanted to do this so maybe you can go back to Virginia on Monday and apply for the license. Virginia is so much easier than Delaware because there isn’t a waiting period and
“Thanks. It’s an important life skill to have.” She laughs and continues to watch us.
“You’ll have to teach me. I wouldn’t want to get through life not knowing your secret.”
“I’ll teach you and then you can fold your own napkins for yours and Wilderness’ table.” Finn looks over to her at the mention of his name. “What now, Sims? What stories are you making up about me?” I remember that he had teased Pam similarly at Chimborazo.
“Nothing that you haven’t already heard,” she bluntly replies with an eye roll.
“Yeah, right.” Finn turns to Ricky and laughs at something that his BFF said to him. Finn’s fingers rub mine, so I know he’s at least partially with me.
Julie starts passing the food around as Chrissie takes her seat next to Simone and Julie. I let go of Finn’s hand as Simone passes me the mashed potatoes. I take a small scoopful and then give them to Finn. Simone then hands me a tray of broiled cod.
After all the food is passed around, Julie leads all of us into a prayer. Everyone except for me makes the sign of the cross. Again, I feel left out. When will I ever fit in?
Julie announces, “There are a couple things I wanted to talk to you about. First, Simone, why don’t you tell everybody what you and I recently did?”
She finishes chewing around her sudden grin. “Are you sure I should bring it up now?” Julie readily nods and we all turn to stare at Simone, eagerly awaiting her news. “Well, Mom and I were playing around on the Internet one night and—”
Ricky interrupts, “Oh, no. That’s never a good thing for you to do. Did you get a job as a topless waitress or something?” Everyone snickers and Simone scowls at him.
“Gross, no. Shut up, Officer Tesco. Anyway, Mom and I found this website. Well, we both became ordained ministers…for free. It’s actually legal and legit.”
“Why would you do that?” Chrissie asks and looks at her mother and then to her sister. She then skims her gaze to Finn as it dawns on her. Knowingly smiling, she slowly says, “ Oh … Can you guess why, little brother?” She smirks as her eyes widen and she shakes her head.
Finn takes a guarded, deep breath. “Really?”
Julie replies, “Yep. We can even perform funerals, baptisms, vow renewals or whatever.”
“Are you serious?” Chrishelle asks her mother. “Why would you honestly do that?” Julie and Simone collectively grin , acutely regarding Finn and me, similar to vultures honing in on their prey.
Oh, shit. This is not good.
“So that is it, then,” Chrissie says. “You really did do it so you can marry your son off?”
“Yes!” Simone clasps her hands together like she’s at a Pearl Jam concert. “Surprise!”
Finn whips his head over to his sister. “What do you mean ‘surprise’?”
Julie says, “Well, Simone and I were thinking that maybe one of us could, you know, perform a marriage ceremony for you two while you’re here.”
What. The. Fuck ?
“Huh?” Finn asks, totally thrown off. I peer at him and his abysmal scowl shows his utter confusion, as does mine; although, I’m not nearly as confused as he seems to be.
Simone offers, “We know it wouldn’t be legal right now since you haven’t filed for a marriage license, but we could still perform a ceremony.”
Julie excitedly imparts, “We could also perform it and fudge the date when we sign the license!”
Shaking his head, Ricky covers his ears and shouts, “I can’t be hearing this!”
Finn angles his head and irritably rolls his eyes. “Oh, that’s a good way to start off a marriage, by not making it even legal!”
Simone says, “We wanted to do this so maybe you can go back to Virginia on Monday and apply for the license. Virginia is so much easier than Delaware because there isn’t a waiting period and
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