Bulletproof Mascara: A Novel

Bulletproof Mascara: A Novel by Bethany Maines

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Authors: Bethany Maines
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engaged . . .”
    “My sister totally lost it . . .”
    “Can’t wait to tell . . .”
    “Need to ask . . .”
    The sound of multiple moms and dads echoed across the field as they walked up to the main house. Phone calls were only allowed once a week, and Nikki had initially found the sabbatical from daily phone calls with her mother a little frightening. She kept reaching for a cell phone she knew wasn’t there and listening for the ring she knew wouldn’t come. Then she had become used to it and discovered that silence really was golden. She was starting to remember what it was like to make decisions on her own. She could almost envision a time when she wouldn’t have the looming specter of an unmade call lurking in the back of her mind.
    But as they walked up the hill in gathering gloom of evening, the cheerful anticipation of the girls began to rub off on her. And as she took her turn in the phone booth, she found that she was actually looking forward to hearing her mother’s voice. The phone began to ring, and Nikki slid down on the seat, pulling her feet up and bracing them against the opposite panel.
    “Hello?” her mother said in the fake, breathy voice that she thought made her sound like an underage babysitter. It was a clever ploy to throw off phone solicitors. Nikki thought that either the ploy was too clever or perhaps the telemarketers didn’tactually care, but she’d never been able to convince her mother of that.
    “Hey, Mom,” she said, consciously keeping her voice from rising to match her mother’s.
    “Oh, it’s you,” said her mother, dropping into a normal tone.
    “Don’t sound so thrilled,” Nikki said.
    “I didn’t mean it like that,” said Nell briskly. “I’ve just been ducking your grandmother’s calls all week.”
    “Why won’t you talk to Grandma?”
    “I left the womb for a reason,” said Nell tartly. “I wanted to get away.”
    Nikki laughed, and Nell joined in.
    “No, she’s just been pestering me to go back for a visit, and I just don’t have time. We’re super busy at work. I really can’t afford to take a week off. And you know I love your grandmother, but she drives me nuts. You wouldn’t understand, but I think that woman does stuff just to drive me insane. It’s enough to make me start smoking again.”
    “I can’t imagine,” Nikki murmured.
    “You have no idea what that’s like,” reiterated Nell, perhaps sensing Nikki’s incredulity.
    “Well, maybe this fall we can both go back,” Nikki suggested, trying to redirect the conversation before it went down a path that neither of them wanted to tread.
    “Yeah, maybe. So what’s up with you? How is that training school of yours going? I can’t believe that they don’t allow cell phones! It’s the most ridiculous thing!”
    “They can be kind of disruptive,” Nikki said defensively.
    “What if there’s an emergency?”
    “The instructors have phones; they would take care of it.”
    “You know,” Nell said, switching topics and throwing Nikkioff-balance, “this school of yours sounds overly intensive. My friend worked for the Gates Foundation, and they didn’t make her go through months and months of training. Just what are they teaching you?”
    “We might be expected to travel later, so they need the trainees to be up on all of their projects and know all about international regulations and everything,” extemporized Nikki.
    “Really?”
    Nikki could hear the discontent and disinterest in Nell’s voice and knew that it was because she had mentioned the T word. Travel wasn’t a concept that Nell had ever taken to.
    “They do really interesting work, Mom,” said Nikki, trying to reengage her mother in the conversation before it went completely south and they ended up talking about Nell’s crazy colleagues. “There were these nuns in India—”
    “I don’t approve of Catholics,” Nell said.
    “The schools for girls in Afghanistan—” Nikki tried.
    “I

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