really.’
‘Bah,’ she said, and flicked her hand at me. ‘Your face is scratched but your heart is bleeding, Dan-ee-el. What happened?’
The way she just looked right through me, through my thoughts, made me feel as though it would have been pointless to try to keep anything from her. That, and the feeling that I wanted to tell her everything. I stumbled with my words. God, I always stumble with my words. I couldn’t work out where to start.
‘From the beginning, Dan-ee-el. Start at the beginning.’
‘There’s this kid I go to school with . . .’
‘ Ja , what is his name?’
And I told her the story of my game of ‘terrorise the tourist’ that went bad. Of getting my face mashed into the gravel.
She held her hand to her mouth. ‘Have you phoned the police?’
‘No, it was nothing really. Something that I asked for, in a way.’
She was quiet for a full minute. Her eyes were locked on mine, sea blue and unforgiving. ‘No one asks to be hurt like that, Dan-ee-el.’
‘I really have to sort it out myself.’
‘What? To be more hurt?’
I shrugged. I felt like smacking Michael in the head with a shovel. He’d have to be quick to hurt me again. I wouldn’t run the next time.
‘In Dutch we say, je kunt geen vuur met vuur bestrijden . It means you can’t fight fire with fire. Always there will be someone ready to hurt you or steal from you orrip you off. That doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Sometimes you have to close the door on all the muck.’
I nodded and fantasised about meeting Michael in the bush. In the dark. A car shhh ed past outside on the wet street. Timmy the stray meowed his pathetic meow.
Eddy smiled. ‘You know, to see you with Timmy just now was a miracle. You can not believe how timid he is. When I open the door he is already under the house. How did you do it?’
I shrugged. Maybe I’m part cat. ‘Just called him.’
‘ Ja . You really are the nature boy. Do you love animals? Of course you do. Animals know that. They can sense it. Feel it. Like the bird. When you were here the first time I saw a bird . . . little yellow bird . . . land on the broom in your hand. Just like you were a tree, but they know. They know you are friendly. They can feel the love.’
I looked at her and she looked out the front window. Her eyes lost focus.
‘Like my dog, Ziggy,’ she began. ‘Ziggy was a sausage dog. With little legs and big ears. We lived on a farm at Bellan. You know Bellan?’
I nodded. ‘ Ja . I mean yes. We live in Bellan.’
‘ Jaaa ? Of course . . . near Tonio. Anyway, Kasper worked at Hepworth and he left early. One morning it got to maybe ten o’clock and I couldn’t find Ziggy. He was always with me. Always. And if I was inside he would wait on the mat until I came out. So, when I couldn’t find him I got worried and I started to call, “Ziggy, Ziggy. Here boy.” Nothing. Not . . . a . . . thing. There were foxes everywhere out there and Kasper decided to set some trapsafter a fox killed one of his beautiful peacocks. Killed her in the nest.
‘I don’t like traps. They are horrible mean things and I thought maybe Ziggy got, you know, caught in the trap. So I looked around the fence where there were traps and ja , there was Ziggy. My poor beautiful dog with his leg caught in a trap. His front leg. He was biting at the trap and crying.’
Eddy’s eyes glistened and she swallowed. I wriggled in my seat.
‘I didn’t know what to do, hoor . I had not the strength in me to open the trap — it is hard for a man, impossible for an old woman. All the blood. Kasper would never be back until maybe five o’clock and by then poor Ziggy would be dead.
‘And then there was a miracle. I prayed to Got, “Got, what can I do?” and the trap . . . I pushed the trap with my hands and it opened like a book. Like a book, and Ziggy, he scrambled away into the bushes. When I found him he was laying on his side and panting huh-a-huh with his eyes wide open, and
‘Bah,’ she said, and flicked her hand at me. ‘Your face is scratched but your heart is bleeding, Dan-ee-el. What happened?’
The way she just looked right through me, through my thoughts, made me feel as though it would have been pointless to try to keep anything from her. That, and the feeling that I wanted to tell her everything. I stumbled with my words. God, I always stumble with my words. I couldn’t work out where to start.
‘From the beginning, Dan-ee-el. Start at the beginning.’
‘There’s this kid I go to school with . . .’
‘ Ja , what is his name?’
And I told her the story of my game of ‘terrorise the tourist’ that went bad. Of getting my face mashed into the gravel.
She held her hand to her mouth. ‘Have you phoned the police?’
‘No, it was nothing really. Something that I asked for, in a way.’
She was quiet for a full minute. Her eyes were locked on mine, sea blue and unforgiving. ‘No one asks to be hurt like that, Dan-ee-el.’
‘I really have to sort it out myself.’
‘What? To be more hurt?’
I shrugged. I felt like smacking Michael in the head with a shovel. He’d have to be quick to hurt me again. I wouldn’t run the next time.
‘In Dutch we say, je kunt geen vuur met vuur bestrijden . It means you can’t fight fire with fire. Always there will be someone ready to hurt you or steal from you orrip you off. That doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Sometimes you have to close the door on all the muck.’
I nodded and fantasised about meeting Michael in the bush. In the dark. A car shhh ed past outside on the wet street. Timmy the stray meowed his pathetic meow.
Eddy smiled. ‘You know, to see you with Timmy just now was a miracle. You can not believe how timid he is. When I open the door he is already under the house. How did you do it?’
I shrugged. Maybe I’m part cat. ‘Just called him.’
‘ Ja . You really are the nature boy. Do you love animals? Of course you do. Animals know that. They can sense it. Feel it. Like the bird. When you were here the first time I saw a bird . . . little yellow bird . . . land on the broom in your hand. Just like you were a tree, but they know. They know you are friendly. They can feel the love.’
I looked at her and she looked out the front window. Her eyes lost focus.
‘Like my dog, Ziggy,’ she began. ‘Ziggy was a sausage dog. With little legs and big ears. We lived on a farm at Bellan. You know Bellan?’
I nodded. ‘ Ja . I mean yes. We live in Bellan.’
‘ Jaaa ? Of course . . . near Tonio. Anyway, Kasper worked at Hepworth and he left early. One morning it got to maybe ten o’clock and I couldn’t find Ziggy. He was always with me. Always. And if I was inside he would wait on the mat until I came out. So, when I couldn’t find him I got worried and I started to call, “Ziggy, Ziggy. Here boy.” Nothing. Not . . . a . . . thing. There were foxes everywhere out there and Kasper decided to set some trapsafter a fox killed one of his beautiful peacocks. Killed her in the nest.
‘I don’t like traps. They are horrible mean things and I thought maybe Ziggy got, you know, caught in the trap. So I looked around the fence where there were traps and ja , there was Ziggy. My poor beautiful dog with his leg caught in a trap. His front leg. He was biting at the trap and crying.’
Eddy’s eyes glistened and she swallowed. I wriggled in my seat.
‘I didn’t know what to do, hoor . I had not the strength in me to open the trap — it is hard for a man, impossible for an old woman. All the blood. Kasper would never be back until maybe five o’clock and by then poor Ziggy would be dead.
‘And then there was a miracle. I prayed to Got, “Got, what can I do?” and the trap . . . I pushed the trap with my hands and it opened like a book. Like a book, and Ziggy, he scrambled away into the bushes. When I found him he was laying on his side and panting huh-a-huh with his eyes wide open, and
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