wouldn’t be able to hold her head up.” Elizabeth remembered how small she’d felt while her mother yelled.
“And?”
“Joe and I got married and I had Sarah. Joe died when she was five. Heart attack.” Her life sounded so flat. When had she had time to live? Many of her friends had carefree twenties. Where were hers?
“So what happened with the boyfriend? When did he come into the picture?” Carol asked.
What had happened? Elizabeth searched her mind for the beginning of their relationship.
“Sarah was fifteen or sixteen, I think. Bobby was my financial advisor. After working together for a year, he asked me out. Sarah seemed old enough and we kept it discreet. He kind of became part of the family.”
“Why did you break up?”
Elizabeth paused. “I didn’t want to get married. He did. The idea of being married to him was stifling.” She giggled. “Annie told me last night she thought he was a control freak I’d never looked at him that way. Most of the time he was sweet and charming. But she’s right. Everything we did was his way.”
Carol let the silence linger, and Elizabeth thought about what she’d just said. She’d never realized how much Bobby had dictated their lives together.
And Joe had been the same.
She let out a breath of awareness.
“So why does Marcos scare you?” Carol asked again. “Do you think he’s controlling?”
“Maybe.” He’d certainly taken control of their time in Italy. But at the same time he’d given her space to express what she was feeling and thinking. What was the real problem?
“I don’t really know how to be with him. Will he be like Joe, Bobby and my family? He’s Italian. Don’t Italian men need to be the boss? Won’t he make me give up my business?”
“I’m quite sure that’s a stereotype,” Carol said.
“Probably. But … if he isn’t … then I don’t know what the relationship will be like? I mean, how do I act with him? How do I figure out what he wants?”
“How do you stay secure?” Carol asked.
The question stopped Elizabeth cold. She thought about growing up with her family. She’d always known what they expected and she complied — except for Joe, who’d been her one rebellion. She’d gotten back in line after the pregnancy.
When she knew what was expected, she knew what to do. Her life was stable … and dull.
“How do you feel secure when you don’t know what’s going on?” she asked.
“Security comes from inside of each of us. Everything around us, even relationships, don’t last forever. People die, as you know. Jobs are lost, like your friend, Annie. In the end, it’s between us and God, if you believe. Otherwise, you’re the bottom line.”
“But how can I rely on myself? I’ve never done anything right!” Elizabeth wailed.
“I suspect you know that’s not true. You’ve raised your daughter by yourself and kept a roof over your heads.”
“Why do I feel like a failure, then?” Elizabeth’s mind was beginning to whirl. She had a feeling the coach was going to blow her well-constructed world to bits.
“That’s what we’re going to work on.”
“What about Marcos?”
“We’ll see,” the coach said.
Chapter 6
Marcos’ mind wandered as he exited the snarled cars of Marseilles on the last leg of his journey to the Rhône Valley. The sun shone with the promise of later heat and traffic was light enough that he could enjoy the scenery, not that he could see it. He couldn’t rid himself of the images of Elizabeth sitting at the vineyard picnic table or the soft taste of her lips when he’d bid her farewell. He missed her already.
He tried to push her out of his mind. He was done with women. After walking in on his wife in bed with his best friend, he’d sworn to keep all females at arm’s length. Besides, Elizabeth lived halfway around the world. “
Imbecile
,” he muttered. He had other problems.
The French vineyard had yet to show a profit, or any hope of one. Last year,
“And?”
“Joe and I got married and I had Sarah. Joe died when she was five. Heart attack.” Her life sounded so flat. When had she had time to live? Many of her friends had carefree twenties. Where were hers?
“So what happened with the boyfriend? When did he come into the picture?” Carol asked.
What had happened? Elizabeth searched her mind for the beginning of their relationship.
“Sarah was fifteen or sixteen, I think. Bobby was my financial advisor. After working together for a year, he asked me out. Sarah seemed old enough and we kept it discreet. He kind of became part of the family.”
“Why did you break up?”
Elizabeth paused. “I didn’t want to get married. He did. The idea of being married to him was stifling.” She giggled. “Annie told me last night she thought he was a control freak I’d never looked at him that way. Most of the time he was sweet and charming. But she’s right. Everything we did was his way.”
Carol let the silence linger, and Elizabeth thought about what she’d just said. She’d never realized how much Bobby had dictated their lives together.
And Joe had been the same.
She let out a breath of awareness.
“So why does Marcos scare you?” Carol asked again. “Do you think he’s controlling?”
“Maybe.” He’d certainly taken control of their time in Italy. But at the same time he’d given her space to express what she was feeling and thinking. What was the real problem?
“I don’t really know how to be with him. Will he be like Joe, Bobby and my family? He’s Italian. Don’t Italian men need to be the boss? Won’t he make me give up my business?”
“I’m quite sure that’s a stereotype,” Carol said.
“Probably. But … if he isn’t … then I don’t know what the relationship will be like? I mean, how do I act with him? How do I figure out what he wants?”
“How do you stay secure?” Carol asked.
The question stopped Elizabeth cold. She thought about growing up with her family. She’d always known what they expected and she complied — except for Joe, who’d been her one rebellion. She’d gotten back in line after the pregnancy.
When she knew what was expected, she knew what to do. Her life was stable … and dull.
“How do you feel secure when you don’t know what’s going on?” she asked.
“Security comes from inside of each of us. Everything around us, even relationships, don’t last forever. People die, as you know. Jobs are lost, like your friend, Annie. In the end, it’s between us and God, if you believe. Otherwise, you’re the bottom line.”
“But how can I rely on myself? I’ve never done anything right!” Elizabeth wailed.
“I suspect you know that’s not true. You’ve raised your daughter by yourself and kept a roof over your heads.”
“Why do I feel like a failure, then?” Elizabeth’s mind was beginning to whirl. She had a feeling the coach was going to blow her well-constructed world to bits.
“That’s what we’re going to work on.”
“What about Marcos?”
“We’ll see,” the coach said.
Chapter 6
Marcos’ mind wandered as he exited the snarled cars of Marseilles on the last leg of his journey to the Rhône Valley. The sun shone with the promise of later heat and traffic was light enough that he could enjoy the scenery, not that he could see it. He couldn’t rid himself of the images of Elizabeth sitting at the vineyard picnic table or the soft taste of her lips when he’d bid her farewell. He missed her already.
He tried to push her out of his mind. He was done with women. After walking in on his wife in bed with his best friend, he’d sworn to keep all females at arm’s length. Besides, Elizabeth lived halfway around the world. “
Imbecile
,” he muttered. He had other problems.
The French vineyard had yet to show a profit, or any hope of one. Last year,
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