she was hugging everybody and screaming about how much fun camp would be.
I saw Billy too. Since heâs leaving for a while, I thought he might say something like, April, Iâm sorry things got so messed up between us. I really like you and Iâm glad I kissed you. Camp wonât be the same without you, and donât worry, Iâll write.
But he didnât say anything like that. He didnât say anything at all. Not even good-bye. It was really weird. When I told him, âBye and have fun,â he just looked at me like he was going to say something, but he didnât.
Then he and Brynn got on the bus with twenty-eight other screaming kids.
I watched as thirty screaming kids in Camp Silver Shores T-shirts drove off. But there should have been thirty-one kids on that bus.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, âDoes this taste funny to you?â
Sunday, June 16, 5:30 P.M.
Since I woke up this morning, Iâve watched seven episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey and eaten an entire shoebox of Life cereal. Why a shoebox? Because all the cereal in our house ends up in shoeboxes under Mayâs bed where she keeps it in case she gets hungry in the middle of the night.
While my friends are eating roasted marshmallows and singing songs around a fire, Iâm stuck eating cereal out of a shoebox and watching a bunch of ladies scream at each other on TV.
5:45 P.M.
Mom just came into my room to check on me. When she did, I made the saddest face I could possibly make. I thought there was a chance she would say something about how sheâs already starting to realize she and Dad made a big mistake. But all she said was that I shouldnât worry, that this summer will be good for me.
I fail to see how.
Monday, June 17, 6:50 A.M.
Itâs 6:50 in the morning and Iâm listening to my dad yelling, âPaper, Gilligan. Paper!â
My dad been has been standing in our front yard in his robe and slippers yelling for Gilligan to get the newspaper for at least 20 minutes. Heâs determined to train Gilligan to fetch the paper. Gilligan seems determined not to learn. In the amount of time my dad has been yelling, he could have gotten the paper himself and read the thing front to back.
And Dad doesnât just yell like a normal person yelling to a dog. He yells in a wake-upthe-whole-neighborhood kind of way. Itâs completely embarrassing.
Itâs also exhausting. I just walked outside and told Dad that as a result of being awakened so early, I will NOT be able to perform my job duties today, which he and Mom have defined as making lunch for my sisters and keeping them entertained this afternoon. Dad replied with some stupid comment about the early bird getting the worm.
I didnât see what the early bird had to do with any of this, but I asked Dad if while the early bird was out getting the worm, he could get the paper too.
I thought that was pretty funny. But Dad didnât see the humor. He said I should try to be more ârespectful.â I told Dad I should be at camp where my âlack of respectâ wouldnât bother him.
Dad didnât think that was funny either.
Tuesday, June 18
I have nothing to write about.
Hereâs what I will be doing today, which also happens to be what I did yesterday: making lunch for my sisters and keeping them entertained. In fact, I will be doing this every day this week, so if I write nothing else, itâs because I already know I will have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT.
Thursday, June 20
Hallelujah! Tomorrow I will have something to write about. Mom said I can take May and June to the pool to swim.
Friday, June 21, 3:50 P.M.
The ultimate Embarrassment
The kind you never recover from
Unfortunately, today I have something to write about. This afternoon I took May and June to the pool, which I was looking forward to, but what happened there was so humiliating, Iâm certain beyond a
I saw Billy too. Since heâs leaving for a while, I thought he might say something like, April, Iâm sorry things got so messed up between us. I really like you and Iâm glad I kissed you. Camp wonât be the same without you, and donât worry, Iâll write.
But he didnât say anything like that. He didnât say anything at all. Not even good-bye. It was really weird. When I told him, âBye and have fun,â he just looked at me like he was going to say something, but he didnât.
Then he and Brynn got on the bus with twenty-eight other screaming kids.
I watched as thirty screaming kids in Camp Silver Shores T-shirts drove off. But there should have been thirty-one kids on that bus.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, âDoes this taste funny to you?â
Sunday, June 16, 5:30 P.M.
Since I woke up this morning, Iâve watched seven episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey and eaten an entire shoebox of Life cereal. Why a shoebox? Because all the cereal in our house ends up in shoeboxes under Mayâs bed where she keeps it in case she gets hungry in the middle of the night.
While my friends are eating roasted marshmallows and singing songs around a fire, Iâm stuck eating cereal out of a shoebox and watching a bunch of ladies scream at each other on TV.
5:45 P.M.
Mom just came into my room to check on me. When she did, I made the saddest face I could possibly make. I thought there was a chance she would say something about how sheâs already starting to realize she and Dad made a big mistake. But all she said was that I shouldnât worry, that this summer will be good for me.
I fail to see how.
Monday, June 17, 6:50 A.M.
Itâs 6:50 in the morning and Iâm listening to my dad yelling, âPaper, Gilligan. Paper!â
My dad been has been standing in our front yard in his robe and slippers yelling for Gilligan to get the newspaper for at least 20 minutes. Heâs determined to train Gilligan to fetch the paper. Gilligan seems determined not to learn. In the amount of time my dad has been yelling, he could have gotten the paper himself and read the thing front to back.
And Dad doesnât just yell like a normal person yelling to a dog. He yells in a wake-upthe-whole-neighborhood kind of way. Itâs completely embarrassing.
Itâs also exhausting. I just walked outside and told Dad that as a result of being awakened so early, I will NOT be able to perform my job duties today, which he and Mom have defined as making lunch for my sisters and keeping them entertained this afternoon. Dad replied with some stupid comment about the early bird getting the worm.
I didnât see what the early bird had to do with any of this, but I asked Dad if while the early bird was out getting the worm, he could get the paper too.
I thought that was pretty funny. But Dad didnât see the humor. He said I should try to be more ârespectful.â I told Dad I should be at camp where my âlack of respectâ wouldnât bother him.
Dad didnât think that was funny either.
Tuesday, June 18
I have nothing to write about.
Hereâs what I will be doing today, which also happens to be what I did yesterday: making lunch for my sisters and keeping them entertained. In fact, I will be doing this every day this week, so if I write nothing else, itâs because I already know I will have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT.
Thursday, June 20
Hallelujah! Tomorrow I will have something to write about. Mom said I can take May and June to the pool to swim.
Friday, June 21, 3:50 P.M.
The ultimate Embarrassment
The kind you never recover from
Unfortunately, today I have something to write about. This afternoon I took May and June to the pool, which I was looking forward to, but what happened there was so humiliating, Iâm certain beyond a
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