he took up his double-barrel Spanish rifle, pulled the trigger, and killed the two monkeys. “God be praised, my dear Cacambo, I have rescued two poor creatures from a perilous situation. If I have committed a sin in killing an Inquisitor and a Jesuit, I made ample amends by saving the lives of these two distressed girls. Perhaps they are young ladies of rank, and this assistance I have been so happy to give them may gain us great advantages in this country.”
He was about to continue when he felt himself struck speechless at seeing the two girls embracing the dead bodies of the monkeys in the tenderest manner, weeping over their bodies, and filling the air with the most doleful lamentations. “Really,” he said to Cacambo, “I didn’t expect to see so much generosity of spirit.” “Master,” replied the knowing valet, “you have made a precious piece of work of it: you have killed the lovers of these two ladies.” “Their lovers, Cacambo! You must be joking; it cannot be; I can never believe it.” “Dear sir,” replied Cacambo, “you are surprised by everything; why do you think it so strange that in some countries monkeys obtain the good graces of ladies? They are one-quarter human, just as I am one-quarter Spanish.” “Alas!” replied Candide, “I remember hearing my master Pangloss say that such things used to happen in former times; and that from these mixtures arose centaurs, fauns, and satyrs; and that many of the ancients had seen such monsters; but I took all that for fables.” “Now you should be convinced,” said Cacambo, “that it is very true; and you see what is done with those creatures by people who have not had a proper education. All I am afraid of is, that these same ladies will get us in real trouble.”
These judicious reflections led Candide to leave the meadow and hide in a thicket. There he and Cacambo ate; and after heartily cursing the Grand Inquisitor, the Governor of Buenos Ayres, and the baron, they fell asleep on the ground. When they awoke, they were surprised to find that they could not move. The reason was, that the Oreillons, who inhabit that country, and to whom the ladies had given information of these two strangers, had bound them with cords made of tree bark. They saw themselves surrounded by fifty naked Oreillons, armed with bows and arrows, clubs, and hatchets of flint; some were making a fire under a large cauldron; and others were preparing spits, and all were crying out: “A Jesuit! a Jesuit! We shall be revenged! we shall have excellent cheer; let’s eat this Jesuit; let’s eat him up.” 18
“I told you, master,” cried Cacambo mournfully, “that these two wenches would play us a dirty trick.” Candide, seeing the cauldron and the spits, cried out: “I suppose they are going to either boil or roast us. Ah! what would Pangloss say if he could see how a state of nature is formed? Everything is right. It may be so: but I must confess it seems harsh to have lost dear Miss Cunégonde, and to be spitted like a rabbit by these barbarous Oreillons.” Cacambo, who never lost his presence of mind in distress, said to the disconsolate Candide: “Do not despair. I understand a little of the jargon of these people; I will speak to them.” “And be sure,” said Candide, “you make them aware of the horrid barbarity of boiling and roasting human creatures, and how un-Christian such a practice is.”
“Gentlemen,” said Cacambo, “you think perhaps you are going to feast upon a Jesuit; if so, excellent idea; nothing can be more agreeable to justice than to treat your enemies so. Indeed, the law of nature teaches us to kill our neighbour; and that’s why we find this practised all over the world; and if we do not indulge ourselves in eating human flesh, it is because we have much better food; but for you, who do not have our resources, it is certainly agreed to be much better to feast upon your enemies than to throw their bodies to the crows of the air,
He was about to continue when he felt himself struck speechless at seeing the two girls embracing the dead bodies of the monkeys in the tenderest manner, weeping over their bodies, and filling the air with the most doleful lamentations. “Really,” he said to Cacambo, “I didn’t expect to see so much generosity of spirit.” “Master,” replied the knowing valet, “you have made a precious piece of work of it: you have killed the lovers of these two ladies.” “Their lovers, Cacambo! You must be joking; it cannot be; I can never believe it.” “Dear sir,” replied Cacambo, “you are surprised by everything; why do you think it so strange that in some countries monkeys obtain the good graces of ladies? They are one-quarter human, just as I am one-quarter Spanish.” “Alas!” replied Candide, “I remember hearing my master Pangloss say that such things used to happen in former times; and that from these mixtures arose centaurs, fauns, and satyrs; and that many of the ancients had seen such monsters; but I took all that for fables.” “Now you should be convinced,” said Cacambo, “that it is very true; and you see what is done with those creatures by people who have not had a proper education. All I am afraid of is, that these same ladies will get us in real trouble.”
These judicious reflections led Candide to leave the meadow and hide in a thicket. There he and Cacambo ate; and after heartily cursing the Grand Inquisitor, the Governor of Buenos Ayres, and the baron, they fell asleep on the ground. When they awoke, they were surprised to find that they could not move. The reason was, that the Oreillons, who inhabit that country, and to whom the ladies had given information of these two strangers, had bound them with cords made of tree bark. They saw themselves surrounded by fifty naked Oreillons, armed with bows and arrows, clubs, and hatchets of flint; some were making a fire under a large cauldron; and others were preparing spits, and all were crying out: “A Jesuit! a Jesuit! We shall be revenged! we shall have excellent cheer; let’s eat this Jesuit; let’s eat him up.” 18
“I told you, master,” cried Cacambo mournfully, “that these two wenches would play us a dirty trick.” Candide, seeing the cauldron and the spits, cried out: “I suppose they are going to either boil or roast us. Ah! what would Pangloss say if he could see how a state of nature is formed? Everything is right. It may be so: but I must confess it seems harsh to have lost dear Miss Cunégonde, and to be spitted like a rabbit by these barbarous Oreillons.” Cacambo, who never lost his presence of mind in distress, said to the disconsolate Candide: “Do not despair. I understand a little of the jargon of these people; I will speak to them.” “And be sure,” said Candide, “you make them aware of the horrid barbarity of boiling and roasting human creatures, and how un-Christian such a practice is.”
“Gentlemen,” said Cacambo, “you think perhaps you are going to feast upon a Jesuit; if so, excellent idea; nothing can be more agreeable to justice than to treat your enemies so. Indeed, the law of nature teaches us to kill our neighbour; and that’s why we find this practised all over the world; and if we do not indulge ourselves in eating human flesh, it is because we have much better food; but for you, who do not have our resources, it is certainly agreed to be much better to feast upon your enemies than to throw their bodies to the crows of the air,
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