Carried Forward By Hope by Ginny Dye Page A

but then I wouldn’t have found out about Captain Borden, so I reckon some good came out of it.”
    Carrie looked at him more closely. “You’re rather remarkable,” she said suddenly. “I’ve met so many soldiers who are bitter and angry. Why aren’t you?” she asked bluntly.
    “You can thank your husband,” Alex responded promptly. “We used to have right long talks while we were waiting for battles, or while we were marching to escape the Yankees.” He paused, remembering. “I had me enough bitterness and anger for a bunch of men, but the captain told me it would just eat me up and leave me with nothing. He told me things would always happen that would be hard, but it was up to me how I dealt with it.” He was the one to give Carrie’s hands a tight squeeze. “He told me his wife taught him all that, so I reckon I got you to thank too.”
    Carrie smiled through her tears, only moving away from Alex’s bed when she was called by another soldier. “I’ll check on you later,” she promised.
    When she finished caring for her last patient and everyone was asleep, she slipped over to say goodbye to Alex, smiling softly when she saw he was sleeping soundly. His face had softened to reveal just how young he really was. She laid her hand on his forehead gently, said a quick prayer, and turned away.
    Janie was waiting for Carrie by the door, her eyes clouded with fatigue, but her face peaceful.
    Only then did Carrie realize how tired she was. “Long day,” she said simply.
    “It felt good,” Janie replied. “It will be hard when I get to Raleigh and I don’t have a way to make a difference.”
    Carrie’s gut tightened as she gazed into her friend’s eyes and saw the pain and fear she was trying to hide. She grabbed Janie’s hand and pulled her over to stand under a tall oak tree next to the hospital entrance. Spencer was waiting in the carriage across the street, but she knew he would wait for as long as needed. “We need to talk before we go home,” she said quietly.
    Janie opened her mouth to protest and then simply nodded.
    “I’m so worried about you, Janie. So much has happened that I almost missed how angry Clifford has become.”
    Janie’s blue eyes shimmered with tears. “He has changed. Losing the war has changed him.”
    “ Losing the war?”
    “Yes. Losing his arm was hard, but he still believed the South would go back to the way it was and he would pick up his life where he left it in Raleigh.”
    “And he no longer believes that?”
    “He believes losing the war has destroyed everything he holds dear,” Janie explained. “He is terrified of what will happen now that all the slaves are free. He is afraid of them revolting against the white people, just like they have in the last day when they attacked all the soldiers.”
    Carrie looked at her more closely. “And you? How do you feel?”
    Janie stared into her eyes and shook her head helplessly. “His fear is rubbing off on me,” she admitted slowly, her eyes begging for understanding. “You know I don’t have a prejudice against black people and that I’m so glad the slaves are free…”
    “But…?”
    “I guess I never really thought of what it would be like in the South if two million slaves suddenly had their freedom.” Janie searched for words. “What do you believe is going to happen?”
    Carrie spoke carefully. “I don’t believe there are any easy answers,” she said slowly. “I know that slavery simply had to end. Now that it has, I think everyone is going to have to figure out what life will be like.”
    “Are you scared?” Janie asked suddenly. “Are you scared of what will happen?”
    Carrie made sure her answer was true before she gave it. “No. I believe there are two million slaves who are way more frightened than any of us are. I believe they simply want an opportunity to become educated and live their lives as they want to. I believe they want to know they will never be separated from their loved