Charlie Joe Jackson's Guide to Not Growing Up by Tommy Greenwald

was turning into my standard answer for everything.
    â€œWell, why didn’t you say so?!” Mr. Radonski hollered, smacking me on the back. He probably thought he was being playful, but I was pretty sure it would end up leaving a mark. “Honey, we got a birthday boy here!” Two seconds later, a woman I’d never seen before was standing at Mr. R’s side, smiling down at me.

    â€œCharlie Joe, Megan, I’d like you to meet my fiancée, Aurora,” said Mr. Radonksi. “Aurora, Charlie Joe here is graduating from middle school today. And for some crazy reason, I’m going to miss his sorry butt.”
    I blinked, looking up at the nice, pretty, normal-looking woman. Then I looked back at my gym teacher. “Wait a second. You’re engaged? You’re getting married again? To her?”
    Mr. Radonski frowned. “What are you trying to say, kid? That you don’t understand how someone like Aurora would want to marry someone like me?”
    â€œNo, no, of course not!” I said immediately. “I totally get it! It’s more like, I, uh, just thought you liked, you know, being, you know—” I stopped talking, because there was no way I was going to finish that sentence without getting myself into more trouble.
    Aurora took Mr. Radonski’s hand. “Well, we all have to grow up sometime, don’t we, honey?” she said sweetly.
    â€œWe sure do,” he said back to her. And then they kissed.
    Now I’ve seen everything , I said to myself.
    â€œSo what do you say?” Mr. Radonski asked. “Jookie’s?”
    Megan looked at me. “Your birthday, your call,” she said.
    â€œSure, I guess, for a little while,” I said.
    â€œLet’s do this!” Mr. Radonski said.
    On our way out, Megan elbowed me in the ribs.
    â€œKatie is going to be thrilled,” she said.

 
    9
    1:56 pm
    Once I convinced Katie that we’d only stay for twenty minutes, and once I kept Moose and Coco happy by giving them six French fries each, we headed over to Jookie’s.
    â€œStop giving the dogs all that human food, they’re going to get sick,” Megan said. I waved her off. Make them sick? Dogs lived for human food.
    At Jookie’s we ran into our first problem at the front door.
    â€œWait a second,” said Artie, the guy who worked there forever. He looked at Megan. “You’re way too old for this place.”
    Megan was shocked. “Seriously?”
    Artie nodded. “Oh, yeah. You have to be in middle school or below to get in here. This is a youth-friendly environment.”
    I laughed. “Jeez, Artie, if that’s true then I can’t get in, either. I’m graduating from middle school today.”
    I liked Artie, but he didn’t have much of a sense of humor. And he was definitely a stickler for the rules.
    â€œNice knowin’ ya then,” Artie said.
    My turn to be shocked. “Wait, what?”
    Mr. Radonski, who was already inside, came to see what was going on. “Is there a problem, Artie?”
    Artie shook his head. “No problem. Was just telling these high schoolers here that Jookie’s is for youngsters.”
    â€œGreat rule following!” Mr. Radonski said. “Thanks, Artie! Only, I need Charlie Joe because he’s my assistant referee for the air hockey tournament.”
    â€œWell now, that’s a horse of a different color,” Artie said. “Go on in.”
    As we walked by, Artie grabbed my arm. “I was just giving you a hard time,” he said. “You’re still welcome here right up until you graduate.”
    â€œThat’s in four hours,” I told him.
    â€œWell then, you better get on with it,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye. Maybe he had a sense of humor after all.
    The air hockey tournament was in full swing. Kids were running all over the place, screaming their heads off, generally having a blast.
    â€œI