suicidal.”
“Well, if she
asks, you can just say he was a lifeguard or something so she doesn’t take it
so hard,” Megan said, squeezing her hair in the hand towel.
“Or a pimp,” I
said.
“Not a
complete lie.”
“Ouch,” I said,
wheeling the
breakfast trolley between our beds and removing the silver domes from the tray.
“Looks good,” Megan said, crawling across the bed on her knees and
reaching for her freshly squeezed orange juice.
“It does,” I said, admiring the colorful bowl of fruit.
Unfortunately,
Jack’s surprise visit ruined my appetite. And as I sat down at the edge of my
bed, I wondered how long it was going to take me to get over him.
I mean, they
say you need half the total time of a relationship to get over the other person
after a breakup.
Which meant he
would be out of mind almost as quickly as he was out of sight.
But something
told me I was kidding myself.
Because Jack
Quinn had gotten under my skin just like that stubborn coral had the day we
met.
Except in his
case, it was going to take a lot more than a pair of tweezers to get rid of him.
Chapter
11: Jack
The sense of
loss I felt was overwhelming.
And it wasn’t
just that I lost the chance to explain myself to Audrey. I also lost the
potential for what might have been with her and the peace of mind I would’ve
gained from being able to see her face and know she was okay.
It killed me that
she might think my not showing up was a reflection of my feelings for her. And
it was weird how upset I was. Frankly, I was irritated from the moment I knew
that I wasn't going to make the date, but I pushed it to the back of my mind so
I could look after my Dad and Tip.
But I was
livid now.
And the rage
bubbling up in me was my first clue that this wasn't just some girl I'd hooked
up with. Lord knows I let them leave all the time without saying goodbye and
didn't bat an eyelid.
But this time
was different.
This time it
felt more like the way I'd felt in previous relationships after a fight-
unsettled, like everything was up in the air. And I was anxious to know where
all the shit was going to land.
But it wasn't
going to land. There would be no shit to go through. Audrey would touch down in
Seattle in the next twenty four hours and she would either think of me or not, and
there was nothing I could do about it.
Though beating
the crap out of my Dad offered a strange appeal. Of course, I'd never be able
to do half as good a job as he did on his own so I didn't see the point.
Plus, as much
as I wanted to blame him for this, I knew better. I was too old to blame my
parents for my own mistakes, and I was the one who fucked up, the one who let
the most amazing woman I ever met slip through my fingers.
Tip knew
something was wrong, but I wasn’t giving anything away. Though I trusted her
implicitly, I didn't want her to be the one that communicated my hurt to my Dad
when the time came.
And it would
come.
He'd crossed a
line that he could never uncross, and as far as I was concerned, it was
decision time. Either I could spend the rest of my life trying to keep him out
of trouble- which was easier said than done- or I could make a change.
But if I
continued to let my misplaced loyalty to him trump the other relationships I
had in my life, then it would be the only one I'd ever have. And someday, I'd
look back and realize I sacrificed everything that could've been for a front
row seat to my Dad drinking himself to death and pissing his life away.
And that
wasn't something I even wanted to watch.
It was
difficult to even look at him as he laid there hooked up to all the machines
while dozens of people fought for his life, a life he had no appreciation for.
So as soon as
Tip came back with some coffee, I told her I had to go take care of some stuff
and insisted she call me if she needed
“Well, if she
asks, you can just say he was a lifeguard or something so she doesn’t take it
so hard,” Megan said, squeezing her hair in the hand towel.
“Or a pimp,” I
said.
“Not a
complete lie.”
“Ouch,” I said,
wheeling the
breakfast trolley between our beds and removing the silver domes from the tray.
“Looks good,” Megan said, crawling across the bed on her knees and
reaching for her freshly squeezed orange juice.
“It does,” I said, admiring the colorful bowl of fruit.
Unfortunately,
Jack’s surprise visit ruined my appetite. And as I sat down at the edge of my
bed, I wondered how long it was going to take me to get over him.
I mean, they
say you need half the total time of a relationship to get over the other person
after a breakup.
Which meant he
would be out of mind almost as quickly as he was out of sight.
But something
told me I was kidding myself.
Because Jack
Quinn had gotten under my skin just like that stubborn coral had the day we
met.
Except in his
case, it was going to take a lot more than a pair of tweezers to get rid of him.
Chapter
11: Jack
The sense of
loss I felt was overwhelming.
And it wasn’t
just that I lost the chance to explain myself to Audrey. I also lost the
potential for what might have been with her and the peace of mind I would’ve
gained from being able to see her face and know she was okay.
It killed me that
she might think my not showing up was a reflection of my feelings for her. And
it was weird how upset I was. Frankly, I was irritated from the moment I knew
that I wasn't going to make the date, but I pushed it to the back of my mind so
I could look after my Dad and Tip.
But I was
livid now.
And the rage
bubbling up in me was my first clue that this wasn't just some girl I'd hooked
up with. Lord knows I let them leave all the time without saying goodbye and
didn't bat an eyelid.
But this time
was different.
This time it
felt more like the way I'd felt in previous relationships after a fight-
unsettled, like everything was up in the air. And I was anxious to know where
all the shit was going to land.
But it wasn't
going to land. There would be no shit to go through. Audrey would touch down in
Seattle in the next twenty four hours and she would either think of me or not, and
there was nothing I could do about it.
Though beating
the crap out of my Dad offered a strange appeal. Of course, I'd never be able
to do half as good a job as he did on his own so I didn't see the point.
Plus, as much
as I wanted to blame him for this, I knew better. I was too old to blame my
parents for my own mistakes, and I was the one who fucked up, the one who let
the most amazing woman I ever met slip through my fingers.
Tip knew
something was wrong, but I wasn’t giving anything away. Though I trusted her
implicitly, I didn't want her to be the one that communicated my hurt to my Dad
when the time came.
And it would
come.
He'd crossed a
line that he could never uncross, and as far as I was concerned, it was
decision time. Either I could spend the rest of my life trying to keep him out
of trouble- which was easier said than done- or I could make a change.
But if I
continued to let my misplaced loyalty to him trump the other relationships I
had in my life, then it would be the only one I'd ever have. And someday, I'd
look back and realize I sacrificed everything that could've been for a front
row seat to my Dad drinking himself to death and pissing his life away.
And that
wasn't something I even wanted to watch.
It was
difficult to even look at him as he laid there hooked up to all the machines
while dozens of people fought for his life, a life he had no appreciation for.
So as soon as
Tip came back with some coffee, I told her I had to go take care of some stuff
and insisted she call me if she needed
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