Chasing Circumstance by Dina Redmon

heart.  I knew I had let myself get lost in the moment the night before, and had hoped we could work things out, but today was a new day and I had come to my senses.  He had used me and I wouldn’t allow the current emotions to wipe the pain of that away.  He didn’t get to be forgiven that easily. 
    “I was hoping to pick you up so we could drive around for a little while.”  The look on Stuart’s face told me he was disappointed in my choice to be brought to his home.
    “We can still go for a drive.  I just like the idea of having my own transportation.  Anyway, you don’t want to have to drive me back to my hotel after dinner.”  I wondered if he was picking up on the distance I was attempting to place between us, or if he was downright ignoring it.
    “I was hoping you would spend your last two nights in town with me.  I was hoping…”  Stuart’s words trailed off as he looked to the floor.  I could tell he was upset with my suggestions.
    “Why don’t we just play it by ear?  I’ve learned not to count on anything when it comes to you and me.  I still have your address from the letters you used to send me, and I’m sure my driver is capable of finding your place, so I’ll see you at seven.”  I didn’t give him a chance to answer as I walked away.  I needed him to feel the same pain he had caused me.  Hell, I wanted him to feel even worse than I did.
    Jeffrey was waiting for me and opened the car door as I approached.
    “How did the meeting go, Miss Amia?”  He tipped his hat and nodded.
    “It went exactly as planned,” I smiled as I sat down, “please, take me back to the hotel.”  Once Jeffrey was in the driver’s seat, I explained my plans for the next two days to him.  I let him know he did not have to wait, but would be on call and that he would be paid regardless of how much I needed him.  He seemed happy to have some time off and thanked me as we drove back to the hotel.
    Upon entering my suite, I stripped down to nothing, made myself a cup of coffee, and enjoyed it on the terrace.  I knew I was so high up that no one could see me but at that moment, I wouldn’t have cared.  I was feeling sexy, strong, and empowered. 
    While I sat drinking my coffee, I scripted the next two days in my head.  I always felt better heading into unknown situations with a plan of action.  I prepared myself for every possibility I could imagine.  His words and actions told me that he wanted me to stay and rekindle what we had.  I knew what we had was built on a lie, so there was no hope in resolving the situation, but Jo was correct in saying that I needed closure.  I was going to get my closure come hell or high water.  Since I didn’t believe in hell, I only had to worry about the high water.
    Filled with determination, I finished my coffee and headed inside to prepare for the next forty-eight hours.  I pulled out and packed my overnight bag with a couple changes of casual clothes, a pair of walking shoes, a set of pajamas, and my laptop.  Almost forgetting the knock his dick in the dirt lingerie, I opened the dresser drawer and placed it on top of the outfits I had packed.  Now, it was time for me to ready myself.
    After filling the bathtub with the hottest water I could stand and adding bubble bath, I climbed in and submerged myself in its healing attributes.  I swear I looked ten years younger in the few days I had been in Scotland.  I honestly believed there were restorative powers in the water.
    Lifting my leg through the suds, I watched the soap run down my thigh as I pulled the cold steel of the razor across my skin.  There was something about the scraping noise that provoked a feeling of sensuality in me.  Maybe it was because I knew it left my skin soft and silky?  I could never quite put my finger on it, but I loved it nonetheless.
    When I finished shaving, I sat back in the water, and relaxed with a warm washcloth over my face.  I could feel the steam