the middle of the road, but once I get to the top, there it is. Green, blue, purple flashes of light licking the belly of the sky.
I slam on the brake as I realize Iâm paying more attention to the lights than to the road. The tires squeal on the asphalt. Mama jumps out of the car before it has completely stopped. We slide sideways.
âMama, wait!â I shout, realizing weâve pulled off right next to Sanctum Lake. I jam the car into park. We jolt to a standstill. Gram would be after me about not being at a complete and final stop for that one, but I donât have time to worry about it.
âIzzy, stay on my tail,â I say as I jump out of the car. Izzy falls in right behind me and we light out after Mama, who is running up a grassy knoll.
âThatâs a good place to stop!â I shout, trying to get my feet moving faster.
âWait up!â Izzy shouts and I reach back to grab her hand. Itâs damp from her thumb being stuck in her mouth. I only look down long enough to take my hand out of hers and wipe the spit off on the hem of my shirt, but as I look back up, Mamaâs disappeared over the top of the hill.
âHurry!â I hiss. We run through the grass, which bends and whips with the light breeze. I get to the top of the knoll, my eyes searching for Mama. Sheâs a moving shadow, but then as the moon comes out from behind a quickly passing cloud, she appears like a lost patch of stardust. Her white nightgown ripples silver in the moonlight. Her bracelets pop, sparkling threads crisscrossing her arm. The gray streaks in her hair become shining cobwebs, holding her curls in place all the way down her back. She slows as she gets to the edge of the lake.
âMama!â My heart hits my throat, wondering what she is thinking and if itâs safe for her to be near the water. Dr. Vincent says evaluate the situation. Is she going to harm others? I donât think so. Is she going to harm herself? I donât know. If the answer is yes, then I have to call 911. Course, I donât have a phone. I look down at Izzy as she pops her thumb back in her mouth.
âYou donât need to be doing that,â I mumble and she yanks it out, rolling her eyes at me. I watch Mama as she holds her arms to each side, and a shiver runs up my back as she lifts one leg straight out in front of her. Like a dancer, she slowly lowers her foot toward the water, and then through the surface.
âMama, what are you doing? You probably should come back here!â I shout. The breeze lifts my hair and whips it in front of my eyes and across my cheeks.
But she doesnât answer. She just steps in. One foot, and then the other. And she turns to face me, and she falls back. For a moment, I panic and start running down the hill. The grass grabs at my feet, but Iâm moving fast enough that the blades get pulled straight from the roots. I hit the sand and she breaks through the surface. I slide to a stop. Izzy crashes into me and I sprawl forward. A belly flop on the edge of the lake. Mouth full of sand. Mama sprays water into the sky and smiles. Then she bobs along on her back, clothes soaked through. And laughs. I pick myself up. Wipe the grit from my mouth. My insides feel like I swallowed a handful of bare, frayed wires. Sharp and stingy from the bottom of my ribs to the backs of my eyes.
I hold Izzyâs hand, and I watch Mama. The ripples around her reflect the starry sky. Bouncing strands of color collide with the stars and dance with one another. She floats along the surface, a pearl silhouette in a magical pool. I feel my breath get caught in my throat. Her clothes are so wet that I can see all her parts. My mind starts to race. I look out toward the road, thinking,
please donât let anyone come by.
Thinking,
I wouldnât call 911 now if I had to.
Thinking,
cover up. What are you doing? Why are you doing this? Why arenât we asleep in bed like the other kids?
âI
I slam on the brake as I realize Iâm paying more attention to the lights than to the road. The tires squeal on the asphalt. Mama jumps out of the car before it has completely stopped. We slide sideways.
âMama, wait!â I shout, realizing weâve pulled off right next to Sanctum Lake. I jam the car into park. We jolt to a standstill. Gram would be after me about not being at a complete and final stop for that one, but I donât have time to worry about it.
âIzzy, stay on my tail,â I say as I jump out of the car. Izzy falls in right behind me and we light out after Mama, who is running up a grassy knoll.
âThatâs a good place to stop!â I shout, trying to get my feet moving faster.
âWait up!â Izzy shouts and I reach back to grab her hand. Itâs damp from her thumb being stuck in her mouth. I only look down long enough to take my hand out of hers and wipe the spit off on the hem of my shirt, but as I look back up, Mamaâs disappeared over the top of the hill.
âHurry!â I hiss. We run through the grass, which bends and whips with the light breeze. I get to the top of the knoll, my eyes searching for Mama. Sheâs a moving shadow, but then as the moon comes out from behind a quickly passing cloud, she appears like a lost patch of stardust. Her white nightgown ripples silver in the moonlight. Her bracelets pop, sparkling threads crisscrossing her arm. The gray streaks in her hair become shining cobwebs, holding her curls in place all the way down her back. She slows as she gets to the edge of the lake.
âMama!â My heart hits my throat, wondering what she is thinking and if itâs safe for her to be near the water. Dr. Vincent says evaluate the situation. Is she going to harm others? I donât think so. Is she going to harm herself? I donât know. If the answer is yes, then I have to call 911. Course, I donât have a phone. I look down at Izzy as she pops her thumb back in her mouth.
âYou donât need to be doing that,â I mumble and she yanks it out, rolling her eyes at me. I watch Mama as she holds her arms to each side, and a shiver runs up my back as she lifts one leg straight out in front of her. Like a dancer, she slowly lowers her foot toward the water, and then through the surface.
âMama, what are you doing? You probably should come back here!â I shout. The breeze lifts my hair and whips it in front of my eyes and across my cheeks.
But she doesnât answer. She just steps in. One foot, and then the other. And she turns to face me, and she falls back. For a moment, I panic and start running down the hill. The grass grabs at my feet, but Iâm moving fast enough that the blades get pulled straight from the roots. I hit the sand and she breaks through the surface. I slide to a stop. Izzy crashes into me and I sprawl forward. A belly flop on the edge of the lake. Mouth full of sand. Mama sprays water into the sky and smiles. Then she bobs along on her back, clothes soaked through. And laughs. I pick myself up. Wipe the grit from my mouth. My insides feel like I swallowed a handful of bare, frayed wires. Sharp and stingy from the bottom of my ribs to the backs of my eyes.
I hold Izzyâs hand, and I watch Mama. The ripples around her reflect the starry sky. Bouncing strands of color collide with the stars and dance with one another. She floats along the surface, a pearl silhouette in a magical pool. I feel my breath get caught in my throat. Her clothes are so wet that I can see all her parts. My mind starts to race. I look out toward the road, thinking,
please donât let anyone come by.
Thinking,
I wouldnât call 911 now if I had to.
Thinking,
cover up. What are you doing? Why are you doing this? Why arenât we asleep in bed like the other kids?
âI
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