hadn’t written about James in my blog. The last thing I needed was this almost-stranger to insult a guy who meant so much more than a stupid blog, this guy I was somehow thinking about yet again. Dammit James, get out! I also couldn’t figure out why Erik who had a girlfriend back home was happily flirting with me. Is this what all guys did in general? Or was it only what all guys did when their girlfriends were an ocean away? Suddenly I wondered what James was doing, even though I wasn’t his girlfriend in the least...
Bloody Hell.
I needed a change of subject and fast.
“So...” I said.
“So...” he replied.
That took up at least five seconds. Good.
“How do you have time to read nine-hundred-page books when you’re living in the city that never sleeps and working crazy hours for an investment firm?” I finally took a breath at the end of my marathon question.
“Hmm...” he re-adjusted his glasses which was achingly hot. In all my life I would have never predicted having a thought like that. “Romi, you mentioned my job a few times last night. And you seem to mention it in a way where you assume it’s all I care about or do.” He lowered his face so it was close to mine. “There’s more to me.”
“But do you love your job?” Being in control and asking questions was my only defence to those mesmerizing eyes.
“Love is a strong word. I like it...most of t he time. And it has its rewards, of course. But I’m not the stereotypical guy working eighty-hour work weeks. There’s much more to life than that.”
“ So why do you do it if you don’t love it? Aren’t you at least supposed to love what you do?” I put my hands on my hips, continuing my control of this entire conversation.
“Romi, what do you do for a living? Because I imagine you have a job when you’re not writing your book.”
Dammit. With my control suddenly gone, I shifted my feet on the wooden slats of the boat deck, looking at everything but him.
“Excuse me M iss, I asked you a question.”
I sighed, finally facing him and the truth. “Listen, I work a corporate job like ever yone else who does, since that’s what you’re supposed to do after you get a business degree. And getting a business degree is a popular option when you finish high school, you know so you can be all ‘sensible’ and thrive in society, just like everyone expects. So yeah...go ahead and ask: why do I do it if I don’t love it?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Well?”
“My only answer, I guess, is that... ” What am I even trying to say?! Finally the answer was painfully clear. “I guess I’ve been a coward for almost my whole life.” I shook my head as I reflected on my life thus far. “And well...this is the first time I’ve ever admitted it out loud. But actually...one of my goals in the next year is to fix that! And there you have it. The truth.” I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders.
He smiled. “ This has turned out to be a breakthrough moment.”
“ Yes, yes it has, but can you please stop it now with the hard-hitting questions, Oprah?!”
“You started it!”
I laughed. “That’s true! But let’s keep it light from now on.”
“Okay,” he said. “Here’s an easy one : when does your book come out?”
I started doing some math on my fingers, counting u p the work that still lay ahead on my frightening first attempt to self-publish. “September, I guess.”
“ Can I buy it when it comes out?” he asked.
I raised an eyebrow. “ I don’t know...do you live in China, where censorship laws might prevent you from accessing such a book?”
He shook his head as he tried not to laugh. “I do not.”
“Then help yourself,” I said . “You can be one of the ten people who buy it.” I smiled.
“Su rely you’ll sell more than that,” he said. “Just don’t let your talent go to waste like so many others by giving up.”
“ See that’s the part about not being a coward
Bloody Hell.
I needed a change of subject and fast.
“So...” I said.
“So...” he replied.
That took up at least five seconds. Good.
“How do you have time to read nine-hundred-page books when you’re living in the city that never sleeps and working crazy hours for an investment firm?” I finally took a breath at the end of my marathon question.
“Hmm...” he re-adjusted his glasses which was achingly hot. In all my life I would have never predicted having a thought like that. “Romi, you mentioned my job a few times last night. And you seem to mention it in a way where you assume it’s all I care about or do.” He lowered his face so it was close to mine. “There’s more to me.”
“But do you love your job?” Being in control and asking questions was my only defence to those mesmerizing eyes.
“Love is a strong word. I like it...most of t he time. And it has its rewards, of course. But I’m not the stereotypical guy working eighty-hour work weeks. There’s much more to life than that.”
“ So why do you do it if you don’t love it? Aren’t you at least supposed to love what you do?” I put my hands on my hips, continuing my control of this entire conversation.
“Romi, what do you do for a living? Because I imagine you have a job when you’re not writing your book.”
Dammit. With my control suddenly gone, I shifted my feet on the wooden slats of the boat deck, looking at everything but him.
“Excuse me M iss, I asked you a question.”
I sighed, finally facing him and the truth. “Listen, I work a corporate job like ever yone else who does, since that’s what you’re supposed to do after you get a business degree. And getting a business degree is a popular option when you finish high school, you know so you can be all ‘sensible’ and thrive in society, just like everyone expects. So yeah...go ahead and ask: why do I do it if I don’t love it?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Well?”
“My only answer, I guess, is that... ” What am I even trying to say?! Finally the answer was painfully clear. “I guess I’ve been a coward for almost my whole life.” I shook my head as I reflected on my life thus far. “And well...this is the first time I’ve ever admitted it out loud. But actually...one of my goals in the next year is to fix that! And there you have it. The truth.” I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders.
He smiled. “ This has turned out to be a breakthrough moment.”
“ Yes, yes it has, but can you please stop it now with the hard-hitting questions, Oprah?!”
“You started it!”
I laughed. “That’s true! But let’s keep it light from now on.”
“Okay,” he said. “Here’s an easy one : when does your book come out?”
I started doing some math on my fingers, counting u p the work that still lay ahead on my frightening first attempt to self-publish. “September, I guess.”
“ Can I buy it when it comes out?” he asked.
I raised an eyebrow. “ I don’t know...do you live in China, where censorship laws might prevent you from accessing such a book?”
He shook his head as he tried not to laugh. “I do not.”
“Then help yourself,” I said . “You can be one of the ten people who buy it.” I smiled.
“Su rely you’ll sell more than that,” he said. “Just don’t let your talent go to waste like so many others by giving up.”
“ See that’s the part about not being a coward
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