been a traditional
soldier himself, that if they'd wanted me safe, they'd have to stop
thinking safe rooms and practically kill me by putting me through
the fine art of survival training. If I admitted what I knew, he'd
quiz me about my intelligence source, and I'd have to admit how
often I eavesdropped.
No way I'm going to let
anyone in on that secret.
As always, my thoughts of survival training
brought me back to the ice cream parlor incident because after
that, things between Jayden and I had changed.
As an olive branch and after spending hours
in my safe room, trying to figure out what I could do to make
things right between us (at least as right as they'd ever been),
I'd decided I had to apologize. Realizing the words might never
come out of my mouth, I'd written Jayden a letter asking for his
forgiveness, scrolled his name on the sealed envelope, and given it
to Dad the next morning, begging him to get it to Jayden for
me.
That same day I'd freakishly stalked Xyla
from the Cold Creamery Parlor and told her Jayden was like a big
brother to me, one I hadn't wanted to lose to anyone, not even her.
I'd told her I made up the story about him being sterile, that I'd
never seen him look at anyone the way he looked at her, and then
I'd pleaded with her to give him another shot. She'd seemed
smitten. Before I finished with her, she'd agreed to go on one date
and give him a fair shot.
I'd still been extremely jealous when I
thought about them together, but I felt like I'd righted a
wrong.
Two weeks later, Jayden had returned. He was
different… angrier and more determined than ever that we had to
learn how to survive in the wild. I was the typical narcissistic
teenage girl and assumed Jayden's demeanor had everything to do
with me and what I'd done at the ice cream parlor. I'd only known
one way of getting information and that was to slink around
listening to conversations not meant for my ears.
One night after I'd supposedly gone to bed,
I heard Jayden telling Dad there'd come a day when an entire army
of Shadow Citizens would make it over Aspect Nation's borders, tear
down the walls, and invade. He'd sworn none of us would be safe if
that ever happened because Shadow Nation had turned into a country
of people who were comparable to rabid animals. He'd claimed they
hunted, killed, and ate anything… anyone who came near them.
The next thing I'd known, Dad had gotten up
and closed his office doors, preventing me from hearing another
word of their conversation. Even though it was late and I was
supposed to be in bed, I'd refused to let the hour, Jayden's mood,
or the information I'd just heard deter me. I owed Jayden the date
I'd snatched away from him. I paced outside of Dad's office until
the two of them came out. On a mission, I'd ignored Dad's somber
mood.
"Carlie, what are you doing up this late?
You have school in the morning," he'd said when he saw me in my
pajamas, standing in the hall.
At first, I'd cowered under Dad's glare.
Then I squared my shoulders.
"Dad, I need to talk to Jayden just for a
few minutes," I'd mumbled.
I still remember the way Jayden glanced at
Dad, silently pleading for him to refuse my request, and how I'd
almost rolled my eyes.
Dad's stare had bounced between the two of
us a few times. Finally, he nodded. I'd assumed he'd decided we'd
definitely needed to talk if there was ever to be peace in our
family again.
I'd stared after Dad until he was out of
earshot. Then, I'd turned back to Jayden, who'd been standing with
his feet spread apart, his hands gripped behind him, and his eyes
on the ground.
"I-I asked Dad to give you a letter. Did you
get it?" I'd asked quietly, biting the corner of my lip so hard
that I still have a knot of scar tissue where I'd punctured it and
it bled.
Without looking my way, he'd nodded
solemnly.
Under normal circumstances, I'd have walked
away and pretended as if that had been all I needed to do to make
amends, but I'd had two weeks of guilt eating me
soldier himself, that if they'd wanted me safe, they'd have to stop
thinking safe rooms and practically kill me by putting me through
the fine art of survival training. If I admitted what I knew, he'd
quiz me about my intelligence source, and I'd have to admit how
often I eavesdropped.
No way I'm going to let
anyone in on that secret.
As always, my thoughts of survival training
brought me back to the ice cream parlor incident because after
that, things between Jayden and I had changed.
As an olive branch and after spending hours
in my safe room, trying to figure out what I could do to make
things right between us (at least as right as they'd ever been),
I'd decided I had to apologize. Realizing the words might never
come out of my mouth, I'd written Jayden a letter asking for his
forgiveness, scrolled his name on the sealed envelope, and given it
to Dad the next morning, begging him to get it to Jayden for
me.
That same day I'd freakishly stalked Xyla
from the Cold Creamery Parlor and told her Jayden was like a big
brother to me, one I hadn't wanted to lose to anyone, not even her.
I'd told her I made up the story about him being sterile, that I'd
never seen him look at anyone the way he looked at her, and then
I'd pleaded with her to give him another shot. She'd seemed
smitten. Before I finished with her, she'd agreed to go on one date
and give him a fair shot.
I'd still been extremely jealous when I
thought about them together, but I felt like I'd righted a
wrong.
Two weeks later, Jayden had returned. He was
different… angrier and more determined than ever that we had to
learn how to survive in the wild. I was the typical narcissistic
teenage girl and assumed Jayden's demeanor had everything to do
with me and what I'd done at the ice cream parlor. I'd only known
one way of getting information and that was to slink around
listening to conversations not meant for my ears.
One night after I'd supposedly gone to bed,
I heard Jayden telling Dad there'd come a day when an entire army
of Shadow Citizens would make it over Aspect Nation's borders, tear
down the walls, and invade. He'd sworn none of us would be safe if
that ever happened because Shadow Nation had turned into a country
of people who were comparable to rabid animals. He'd claimed they
hunted, killed, and ate anything… anyone who came near them.
The next thing I'd known, Dad had gotten up
and closed his office doors, preventing me from hearing another
word of their conversation. Even though it was late and I was
supposed to be in bed, I'd refused to let the hour, Jayden's mood,
or the information I'd just heard deter me. I owed Jayden the date
I'd snatched away from him. I paced outside of Dad's office until
the two of them came out. On a mission, I'd ignored Dad's somber
mood.
"Carlie, what are you doing up this late?
You have school in the morning," he'd said when he saw me in my
pajamas, standing in the hall.
At first, I'd cowered under Dad's glare.
Then I squared my shoulders.
"Dad, I need to talk to Jayden just for a
few minutes," I'd mumbled.
I still remember the way Jayden glanced at
Dad, silently pleading for him to refuse my request, and how I'd
almost rolled my eyes.
Dad's stare had bounced between the two of
us a few times. Finally, he nodded. I'd assumed he'd decided we'd
definitely needed to talk if there was ever to be peace in our
family again.
I'd stared after Dad until he was out of
earshot. Then, I'd turned back to Jayden, who'd been standing with
his feet spread apart, his hands gripped behind him, and his eyes
on the ground.
"I-I asked Dad to give you a letter. Did you
get it?" I'd asked quietly, biting the corner of my lip so hard
that I still have a knot of scar tissue where I'd punctured it and
it bled.
Without looking my way, he'd nodded
solemnly.
Under normal circumstances, I'd have walked
away and pretended as if that had been all I needed to do to make
amends, but I'd had two weeks of guilt eating me